AWS Clean Rooms now supports detailed monitoring for collaboration queries AWS Clean Rooms now monitors your SQL queries so you can watch CloudWatch watch your queries watch your data. Because nothing says "clean" like adding another layer of billable observability.

Amazon Connect now provides the capability to store nested JSON object and looping arrays AWS just discovered for loops and JSON parsing exist. Congrats on reinventing basic programming concepts as a billable service! Can't wait to see the pricing calculator for "iterating through arrays."

AWS WAF is now available in the AWS Asia Pacific (New Zealand) Region AWS WAF finally reaches New Zealand, only 8 years after launch. Nothing says "cutting edge" like a firewall arriving fashionably late to block the same bots everyone else saw in 2015.

AWS launches simplified import of CloudTrail Lake data in Amazon CloudWatch AWS now lets you move data from CloudTrail Lake to CloudWatch "at no additional cost"* *except CloudWatch custom logs pricing, which they conveniently forgot to mention upfront. Also: naming things is still hard.

Amazon OpenSearch UI supports CMK and increased metadata size AWS announces you can now encrypt metadata nobody knew existed with keys you have to manage yourself. Also: they graciously increased limits they arbitrarily set too low. This is what passes for innovation at AWS.

Amazon Connect dashboards now support filtering metrics based on custom business dimensions Amazon Connect dashboards can now filter by "custom business dimensions" because apparently "categories" was too simple. You can finally see which product line makes your agents cry the most. Revolutionary.

Amazon Connect expands automated agent performance evaluations to 5 additional languages AWS now uses AI to tell call center workers they suck in 5 languages. Because nothing says "we care about employees" like automating performance reviews. Pricing? Check 8 regions separately, obviously.

AWS End User Messaging SMS launches a Generative AI Registration Reviewer (Preview) AWS now uses AI to check if you filled out their SMS registration forms correctly. Because apparently "End User Messaging" needed even more complexity than just... sending a text message.

MiniMax-M2 is now available on Amazon SageMaker JumpStart AWS now lets you deploy someone else's open-source model through their proprietary platform in 16 regions with undisclosed markup. "JumpStart" means you can start paying immediately!

Amazon MSK expands Standard Brokers and Express Brokers to Asia Pacific (New Zealand) Region AWS finally brings their "Managed Streaming for Kafka" to New Zealand, because apparently "MSK" was easier to remember than "Kafka." Now Kiwis can overpay for Kafka too!

Oracle Database@AWS is now available in three additional AWS Regions Oracle Database@AWS: Because nothing says "cloud migration" like running Oracle's hardware in AWS datacenters while paying both companies. Now in 3 more regions for your masochistic pleasure.

AWS Secrets Manager announces improved secret sorting capabilities AWS Secrets Manager just learned to sort lists. In 2024. This groundbreaking feature—organizing things alphabetically or by date—only took them 6 years to implement. Next up: they'll discover the "search" function by 2030.

NVIDIA Nemotron 3 Nano now available on Amazon Bedrock AWS adds another model with a name that sounds like a Transformers villain. "Project Mantle" powers it because apparently we needed MORE confusing internal codenames. Available in 8 regions you'll pay extra to use.

Amazon Redshift supports four new materialized view (MV) features on data shares Redshift now lets you create MVs on MVs while scaling MV creation when you run out of resources. Translation: we finally fixed basic database features and will charge you extra for it.

Amazon WorkSpaces Secure Browser enables branding customization AWS WorkSpaces Secure Browser now lets you slap your logo on their browser. Because nothing says "enterprise security" like spending hours customizing a favicon. At least the branding is free—unlike literally everything else.

AWS Transform enables network conversion for hybrid data center migrations AWS Transform now uses "agentic AI" to escape VMware—because apparently "automation" needed a buzzword upgrade. They'll map your VLANs to VPCs automatically, which is great until you see the bill for all those NAT gateways.

Amazon RDS for MySQL announces Innovation Release 9.5 in Amazon RDS Database Preview Environment AWS lets you test MySQL 9.5 in their "Preview Environment" for 60 days before it self-destructs. Oh, and they charge you full production prices to beta test their service. How generous.

Amazon WorkSpaces Secure Browser now supports WebAuthn redirection for local Chromium browsers AWS invented a browser that needs another browser to work, then added a feature requiring group policy changes so you can use your fingerprint. At least it's free—unlike the browser itself.

Amazon CloudWatch extends automatic telemetry configuration to six critical AWS services AWS now auto-enables logging you forgot to turn on, then charges you Config fees to discover what to log, CloudWatch fees to store the logs, and probably data transfer fees to read them back. Innovation!

Amazon GameLift Streams launches Gen6-based stream classes and enhanced autoscaling for better performance and pricing AWS launches "gen6n_small" because naming things coherently would cost extra. Now with "warm buffer" autoscaling—because cold buffers were the problem.

Amazon GameLift Streams launches real-time performance stats and improved API error messaging AWS added basic monitoring to GameLift Streams after customers begged for it. "At no additional cost" really means "we should've included this from day one but here's your participation trophy."

Amazon Kinesis Video Streams now supports IPv6 for WebRTC AWS finally added IPv6 to Kinesis Video Streams WebRTC, only 25 years after IPv6 was standardized. They're calling it "dual-stack support" like it's innovative. Available everywhere except Singapore and China because reasons.

AWS Deadline Cloud now supports direct job submission from the Deadline Cloud Monitor AWS Deadline Cloud Monitor now has a GUI for job submission because apparently CLI was too hard. Only took them until v1.1.7 to add basic desktop functionality. Revolutionary!

AWS Storage Gateway now supports Nutanix AHV hypervisor AWS Storage Gateway now supports Nutanix AHV, because apparently supporting VMware, Hyper-V, KVM, and EC2 wasn't enough deployment options for a service that moves your data to AWS where they can charge you egress fees forever.

Amazon ECS Service Connect enhances observability with Envoy Access Logs ECS Service Connect now logs things Envoy was already logging, but AWS finally flipped the switch. They'll call this "innovation" until they remember to charge you per log line next quarter.

Announcing AWS Neuron SDK 2.27.0 AWS announces Neuron SDK 2.27.0 with 47 acronyms, 3 "private betas" (translation: not ready), and support for frameworks to "run unchanged" (only took them how many years?). Also introducing NKI, which sounds like a sneaker brand but costs like a yacht. Innovation!

Research and Engineering Studio on AWS Version 2025.12 now available AWS announces "Research and Engineering Studio" because apparently "VDI" was too simple. Now with tag propagation—a feature so groundbreaking it only took a decade to add to CloudFormation.

Oracle Database@AWS now supports sharing of AWS Marketplace entitlements across accounts Oracle Database@AWS can now share entitlements across accounts. It only took 3 AWS services, 2 consoles, and presumably 47 billing line items to let you use one license in multiple places. Revolutionary.

AWS Wickr launches admin APIs for programmatic network management at scale AWS bought a secure messaging app, slapped their name on it, and just announced APIs to automate what every other enterprise chat tool has done for a decade. Revolutionary! Can't wait for the pricing calculator.

Amazon Aurora now supports PostgreSQL 17.7, 16.11, 15.15, 14.20 and 13.23 AWS released 5 PostgreSQL versions at once because apparently version numbers are the only thing they can't figure out how to charge extra for. Yet.

Zero-ETL for self-managed Database Sources now available in 7 new regions AWS Glue now does "zero-ETL" which is just ETL with better marketing. They've rebranded "database replication" as innovation and expanded to 7 more regions where you can pay them to move your data around.

AWS IoT now offers event-based logging to help optimize observability costs AWS IoT now lets you choose which events to log because apparently their CloudWatch bills got so obscene even *they* noticed. "Reduce costs" = "we finally admit we've been charging you to log your toaster's every fart"

Amazon Redshift ODBC 2.x Driver now supports Apple macOS AWS just announced Redshift now works on Macs like it's 2024's killer feature. Only took them until ODBC 2.x to support the world's second most popular desktop OS. Revolutionary stuff, folks. Next up: discovering Linux exists.

Amazon ECR now supports creating repositories on push AWS just discovered `mkdir -p` and wrote a press release about it. ECR will now create repos automatically instead of making you click buttons first. Revolutionary stuff from the company that charges you to look at your own containers.

Announcing Cost Allocation Tags support for Account Tags AWS just discovered tags can organize things. Revolutionary! Only took them 18 years to let you use Org tags in cost tools without manually recreating the same groupings everywhere. Next up: maybe they'll let you search by tag without a PhD.

Amazon SageMaker Studio now supports SOCI indexing for faster container startup times AWS finally fixes the problem they created: bloated containers taking forever to start. SOCI indexing cuts startup by 50%—only took them years to add lazy loading. Now with 3 new tools to learn!

Amazon Application Recovery Controller region switch now supports three new capabilities AWS invented a button to failover regions, named it like a Rube Goldberg machine, and is now thrilled to announce it works in GovCloud and generates PDFs. This is what happens when you charge by the syllable.

Timestream for InfluxDB Now Supports Restart API Calls AWS just announced you can now restart your database. Yes, really. They built an API so you can turn it off and on again. This is the innovation that required a press release and three documentation links.

Amazon Bedrock Data Automation launches instruction optimization for your document blueprints AWS invented "blueprint instruction optimization" because "we'll rewrite your prompts after you show us 10 examples" didn't sound enterprise enough. Now with F1 scores! Pricing page conspicuously linked.

AWS Private CA OCSP now available in China and AWS GovCloud (US) Regions AWS Private CA now does OCSP in China and GovCloud. Translation: they'll finally tell you if a certificate is revoked without forcing you to download a phone book. Only took them until 2025 to add this 1990s feature.

Amazon WorkSpaces Applications now supports Microsoft Windows Server 2025 AWS renamed AppStream2 to "WorkSpaces Applications" because apparently their product naming wasn't confusing enough. Now with Windows Server 2025! Pricing still requires a PhD in AWS billing to understand.

Amazon RDS enhances observability for snapshot exports to Amazon S3 AWS now tells you *while* your database export crawls to S3 instead of just failing silently. Revolutionary! Only took them a decade to add a progress bar. Four new event types to monitor something that should just work.

Amazon SES announces email validation AWS just discovered email validation exists. They're calling it a "new capability" like they invented checking if an address is real before hitting send. Next up: revolutionary "spell check" feature and the groundbreaking ability to use BCC. Innovation!

Amazon SES announces email validation AWS just discovered email validation exists. They're calling it a "new capability" like they invented checking if an address is real before hitting send. Next up: revolutionary "spell check" feature and the groundbreaking ability to use BCC. Innovation!

Amazon ECS now enables you to define weekly event windows for scheduling task retirements on AWS Fargate "Serverless" Fargate now lets you schedule when AWS reboots your tasks. Because nothing says serverless like managing maintenance windows with EC2 APIs and tag gymnastics.

AWS Clean Rooms now supports change requests for existing collaborations AWS Clean Rooms now lets you change collaboration settings! Revolutionary feature: modifying things after you create them. Coming soon: the ability to delete resources, expected Q4 2027. $0.47 per character in approval emails.

Amazon ECS Managed Instances now supports Amazon EC2 Spot Instances AWS now charges you a management fee on top of Spot pricing so they can provision the discounted instances you could've launched yourself. It's like paying someone to use a coupon for you.

AWS IoT Core adds message batching to HTTP rule action AWS IoT Core now batches messages before HTTP delivery, "reducing costs" by letting you pay them slightly less to move your data. Because nothing says innovation like finally adding a feature that should've existed in 2015.

Amazon WorkSpaces Applications announces Elastic fleets powered by Ubuntu Pro 24.04 LTS AWS now lets you stream Ubuntu apps via "WorkSpaces Applications Elastic fleets" because apparently "remote desktop" was too simple. Pay-as-you-go pricing TBD after you've committed your architecture.

Amazon EC2 now supports Availability Zone ID across its APIs AWS just discovered that randomly shuffling datacenter names across accounts was confusing. Only took them 18 years to add consistent zone IDs. Revolutionary stuff, folks. Next up: maybe instance names that don't require a decoder ring?