I got an apple pen to draw on an iPad and 😂

Ever try to figure out who you are as a person and just end up confusing yourself more

I need chips or pretzels

I'm not like most managers...I'm a cool and dank millennial shitposting manager, yo.

Me to my employees:

Blink twice if you're being held hostage by capitalism

I just found $5 in my pocket good night y'all 😴✨⭐️🌙

I'm so confused. I just found out people are horny for the blue avatar monkeys?

My cats do not respect me

Thankful for the quiet lazy weekend I've been enjoying 😌

Hi

Okiii ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ uwu 👉👈

Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground.

I'm not a shitposter I'm just misunderstood

By the way, I learned from my wife that Chinese zodiacs have elements and that she's a fire rat (which had me dying). I found out I'm a wood dog tell me why that's so lame?

🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞 🤞 new year, new tattoos 🤞

I have a genuine question for my Bluesky friends: is it still rude to wear white to a wedding if two men are getting married?

My New Year's resolution is to start stripping

Every new year feels like a forced NG+ run on a game I really don't like

It feels like Sunday what the fuck is going on

Yo imagine being the first person in history to discover the bacon egg and cheese combination 😷

2025 summarized:

Chat tonight I'm making breakfast pizza for new years 🙂‍↕️

Some aesthetics for you Bluesky~

Manifesting rich brioche energy for yall in 2026

Seeing moots interact on Bluesky is like watching animal crossing villagers talk to each other

Same. Aesthetic achieved. Isaac at 20 Isaac at 30

YOOOOO GUESS WHO IS GETTING A COMPANY GAS CARD 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Watching white people struggle to use chopsticks does bring a smile to my face from time to time

I shouldn't have to pay for weed that should be free for me

Things I am older than: iPhones, YouTube, my cat, your cat, DVDs, Amazon, Facebook, drones, every single lord of the rings movie, McDonald's snack wraps, PlayStation.

Imagine hating me and I'm just over here like

The worst thing about emotional burnout is the hindsight

I started Lies of P today 🙂‍↕️

Serious question: wtf?

The lady at Sephora just asked me if I'm a model 🙂‍↕️

"I don't know, and I'm scared." - me, anytime, anywhere

I'm noticing the older I get the more I find myself saying "I have to get ready for bed soon".

After finishing Silksong I have decided that I could've just smashed my balls in a door and gotten the same experience

let he who is without shitposts draft the first post

I'm not a stoner I'm just building immunity to weed in case I ever become an international spy

I just 100% Silksong 😷

🥯☕️

Me as a fuckin ghost: "I'm a fuckin ghost"

I hope you muted me so you don't see this post right here that says you smell

I think it's funny when people use their name for custom license plates like idk you M1CHA3L but you suck at driving

I fucking love my cat. You guys are ok too.

One of my employees just told me "Used To Be Young" by Miley Cyrus reminds her of me 😷

You're my golden hour, the color of my sky