One of the cool things about being an author is getting to meet other authors—like Gail Carson Levine, who wrote “Ella Enchanted” and so many other great books. I had a fun time talking with her at the HarperCollins 100th birthday party last night.

Nicole Smith-Schultz came to my bookstore appearance on Saturday with her daughter Lizzie. Nicole wrote her book “My Baby Doll” about the special bond that takes place between mothers and daughters. www.amazon.com/My-Baby-Doll...

Thanks to the great staff at Books-A-Million in Mays Landing, New Jersey for my event there on Saturday. Everybody was terrific!

Somebody sent me an email the other day and promised he would teach me how to read maps backward. But it turned out it was just spam.

Last year a girl named Darby Cardamone suggested I call a book Mr. Hilla Is a Gorilla after her gym teacher. I liked the title, but changed it to “DiPilla” & dedicated the book to Darby Cardamone. Well, guess who showed up at my book signing yesterday? Darby Cardamone! Thanks for the idea, Darby!

Anybody hitting the Jersey shore this weekend? I’ll be talking and signing at the Books-A-Million store in Mays Landing (2200 Wrangleboro Rd) TODAY from 3-5pm. Take a break from the beach and come on over. www.facebook.com/BAMMaysLanding

I strained my back recently (not seriously) and after our first session my physical therapist Danielle (left) took out her phone and showed me a photo (right). Yeah, THAT’S DANIELLE WHEN SHE WAS IN 1ST GRADE! Twenty-one years ago, I visited her elementary school in Denville, New Jersey!!!

READER OF THE WEEK is Catherine, who lives in Ontario, Canada. She kills time waiting for her school bus by reading My Weird School books. I asked her mom which is Catherine’s favorite, and she said “whichever one she’s currently reading.”

According to the Law of Conservation of Mass, matter can neither be created nor destroyed; it can only change its form. So what I want to know is, what happened to this tennis racket I had back in high school? Is somebody playing with it? Is it in a landfill somewhere? Was it used for firewood?

To my New Jersey friends: I’ll be talking and signing at Books-A-Million in Mays Landing (2200 Wrangleboro Rd) on Saturday (5/30) from 3-5pm. I can’t believe they have 259 stores, and this will be my first time visiting one. Come say hi!

The other day my wife said to me, “I just don’t understand the meaning of cloning.” So I told her “That makes two of us.”

Reading scores are down in 83% of school districts compared to a decade ago, according to The Educational Reading Project at Stanford University. School is letting out for the summer, & kids can slip behind even more. Here are 8 sure-fire tips to help your children get into a summer reading routine…

STUFF I DIDN’T KNOW WHEN I WAS A KID: As men get older, hair stops growing on the top of our head & starts growing out of our ears instead. Who knew? So now I have a little machine that I use every few days to weedwack my ear canals. There's no way this guy needs one yet. & he looks way too happy.

I just autographed 24 copies of “The Picasso Curse” and 83 copies of “Dorks In New York!” at The Metropolitan Museum of Art gift shop. If you (or someone you know) are coming to NYC for the holiday weekend, Ambar will be happy to sell you one.

When you’re with a group & a question comes up that nobody can answer, do you pull out a phone to look it up? I think it’s fun to try and figure out the answer BEFORE going to the internet. When you look something up, it ends the conversation. But if you don’t look it up, it BEGINS a conversation.

Just autographed a bunch of copies of the brand new My Weird School book at my local bookstore, Books of Wonder. If you’re near New York City (42 W. 17th st) go get ‘em!

I’m sure Stephen will land on his feet. But I’m going to miss this.

HATE FICTION? Some people would rather read true stuff than made up stories. I’m like that. For kids who prefer non-fiction, check out the My Weird School Fast Facts books. In each one, A.J. and Andrea argue for 180 pages.

READERS OF THE WEEK are the cool kids at St. Martin of Tours Academy in La Mesa, California. Their librarian, Ms. Doane has been reading My Weird School books with them all school year.

I suspect that my wife is putting glue on my collection of antique firearms. She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

This book has NOTHING to do with the 4th of July. It has NOTHING to do with America’s 250th birthday. But if teachers & librarians are looking for one last fun read-aloud to share with the kids & celebrate the semiquincentennial (that’s a word?) before school lets out, THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU!

My son Sam has been in Germany this week, and he came across this beer in Berlin…

I had a great time being interviewed for Authors On The Air. If you'd like to give it a listen, go to: youtu.be/ompgb_jFmQo

PEOPLE ASK “How many drafts do you write?” Like most authors, I write on a computer. Every day I sit at my MacBook Pro and read what I wrote the day before. If something doesn’t flow, I change it. I do this every day until I don’t see any more changes to make. That’s when I know a book is done.

I LOVE COOL OLD STUFF: This is the violin that Mozart played as a child and the clavichord he used to compose “The Magic Flute” and other compositions. On display at the Morgan Library & Museum in New York until May 31st.

Mr. Stupar assigned his 3rd graders in Minnesota to research biographies & make their subjects into bobbleheads. After he finished Shakespeare, Jameson here chose to do a 2nd one about ME! You know you’ve really made it when they turn you into a toy. Or, as I prefer to call it, an "action figure."

CAPTION THIS PHOTO! It’s Dad Joke Monday, so let’s have a contest. The funniest caption wins. What do you win? Just bragging rights. (In the past, every time I gave away a prize, scammers would reply to the entries, telling everybody they won. So I had to stop giving stuff away.)

Why do dads tell such bad jokes? They want to help their kids become groan-ups.

Want an AUTOGRAPHED copy of “Mr. DiPilla Is a Gorilla!” which just came out this week? Simple! Just order it from my local indie bookshop, Books of Wonder. I’ll sign (and personalize) it before they mail it to you. No extra charge for the autograph, of course. booksofwonder.com/collections/...

If you’ve been buying My Weird School box sets for your kids, they’re missing out on the My Weird School SPECIALS. They’re a little longer than the regular books because they include a section of puzzles, games, trivia, and other silliness at the end. Check ‘em out.

READ MY FRIENDS’ BOOKS! Holly Kowitt’s newest is “The Invisibles”—a story of a new kid at school who makes a powerful enemy. When things are unfair, you have to fight back. But how far is TOO far? The book comes out in August, but you can pre-order it now: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-invisi...

It came out YESTERDAY! So who’s Mr. DiPilla? He’s the mascot of Ella Mentry School. And like ALL the grownups there, he’s weird. You can order it from your local bookstore, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target, Walmart, or Books-A-Million using this link: www.harpercollins.com/products/my-...

I’m reluctant to post this because I despise braggarts who crow about their accomplishments. But it’s not EVERY day your 200th book comes out, right? Yeah, I keep count. My first book (left) came out in 1985, & my 200th (right) comes out TODAY. Wanna learn about the other 198? Visit my website.

Look at me, pretending I know what I’m talking about. During April, I was the “Writer In Residence” at The Bank Street School in New York City. Each 4th grader wrote a story, which they’ll present when their parents come in on Wednesday. Honestly, the kids taught me more than I taught them.

I asked my surgeon if I could administer my own anesthesia. He said, “Sure, knock yourself out.”

The New York Times has GOT to be kidding. Billy Joel isn’t on this list? Neither is James Taylor? No John Fogerty? Or Randy Newman? Or Jackson Browne? Come on!

Keep your Newbery Award! I’d rather be in the MLB Hall of Pretty Good! Yeah, take THAT, New York Times bestseller list! I’m the ONLY author on THIS list! So nah nah nah boo boo on you! www.instagram.com/mlbhallofgood/

READERS OF THE WEEK are Florida twins Alaya and Alani. They rated their books 9.9 (hopefully on a scale from 1 to 10).

I’m a birdwatcher watcher. I like to watch birdwatchers watching birds. I hope there’s nobody watching me watching the birdwatchers. Because they would be birdwatcher watcher watchers.

Live in Arizona? On Saturday (5/2) My Weird School illustrator Jim Paillot will be at the Prescott Valley BookFest. You should go! Jim will sign books and also teach your kids how to draw! For info: www.prescottvalley-az.gov/book_fest/in...

It comes out a week from TODAY. You may want to get in line at your local bookstore now. I don’t want you to miss out on getting your copy. Or, you can just pre-order it here: www.harpercollins.com/products/my-...

The second graders at China Spring School in Texas took a field trip to a farm last week. Their teacher Mrs. Hughes said they could bring along one book to read on the hour-long bus ride. These kids chose well, if you ask me.

I can only spell 25 letters in the alphabet. But I don’t know why.

Big congrats to my daughter Emma, who completed her first half-marathon today! Here she is a mile from the finish line.

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN! Meeting readers in person is the best part about going to a book festival. The second best part? Schmoozing with authors like Alan Katz, Nick Bruel, and Chris Grabenstein.

NICE SHIRT! I met Jericho at the Westchester Children’s Book Festival today. He may be my biggest fan in the history of the world.

IT’S TODAY! Hope to see some of you there.

Can you ask your kids what they think is the FUNNIEST chapter in all of the My Weird School books? I need to pick ONE chapter to read to a group of kids and I think I’m too close to the books myself to make that judgment. Kids probably know better than me which is the funniest chapter. Thanks!

Kathy Childs & her 5th grade class at Alta Loma Christian School in CA are celebrating National Library Week. Each year classes from K-8 pick a book, dress up as the characters, and parade around the school for their parents. Kathy told me I signed the book she’s holding “To the REAL Mrs. Childs.”

HAPPY EARTH DAY. Betcha didn’t know I edited this 2009 book in which I asked authors what they do to save energy, reduce waste, or help the environment. Contributors included Andrew Clements, Bruce Coville, Jack Gantos, Gordon Korman, Lois Lowry, Rick Riordan, Jon Scieszka, Jerry Spinelli, & others.