Ooooh, look what I got in the mail! You’ll have to wait a month from TODAY to get yours. So nah nah nah boo boo on you! (But you can pre-order it now: www.harpercollins.com/products/my-...)

EMAIL OF THE WEEK is from 7-year-old Tabby in California: “My dad and I were watching Jeopardy and one of the questions was JULIET FOLLOWS HER GOODNIGHT TO ROMEO WITH THIS FAMOUS 5-WORD THOUGHT. I remembered from the book Miss Laney is Zany! that the answer was PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW.”

EBOOK FANS: These My Weird School books are on sale for the month of April. Some of them are just 99 cents! Grab ‘em at: www.harpercollins.com

FINALLY! The Academy Awards took place 2 weeks ago, but I just received the Oscar for Best Live Action Film Based on a Children’s Book yesterday. I want to thank the Academy, the cast, my family, and especially Nickelodeon for doing such a great job getting the movie out there.

On Sunday, Mayor Hubble is hosting the annual Easter egg roll at his mansion. A.J. and the gang will be searching for a golden egg with a thousand dollars hidden inside it. What could possibly go wrong? Find out in the My Weird School Easter special!

Does your school subscribe to BookBreak, the online program that interviews authors and brings them to schools live all over the country? If the answer is yes, watch me TOMORROW at 11am and 1pm EST. If no, you can get info and subscribe to BookBreak here: bookbreaks.org

TWO baseball dad jokes… Q: What’s the difference between a Yankee fan and a dentist? A: One roots for the Yanks and the other yanks for the roots. Q: Why does it take longer to run from 2nd to 3rd than it takes to run from 1st to 2nd? A: Because there’s a short stop in the middle.

Baseball season reminds me that I wouldn’t be an author if not for baseball. As a kid, I hated to read. I thought it was boring. When I was about 10, I became a baseball fan. Suddenly I wanted to know all about baseball, so I HAD to read about it. That turned me into a reader, & eventually a writer.

Hey, who SAYS girls don't like baseball?

Start the season right…with a baseball card adventure! Joe Stashak has the power to travel through time using baseball cards like a time machine, and he goes on adventures with players from the past. (Shhh! Don’t tell kids they’re actually learning history.)

Baseball season is finally here! So make your prediction RIGHT NOW. Who do you think will win the World Series this year? Callan, a 3rd grader, is a big fan (and a big reader) who lives in Texas, and he’s rooting for the Rangers.

ON THE OTHER HAND…Ducks are chill. They’re never in a hurry to get anywhere. They just strut around like they own the place. They couldn’t care less. I think squirrels could learn a lot from ducks.

Why are squirrels in such a hurry all the time? They’re always running around like they can’t find their keys and they’re late for an important appointment. Where do they have to go? Nowhere! I think squirrels should calm down and relax.

My hobby is collecting addresses where famous people lived in NYC. I think it’s cool to walk on the sidewalk where somebody really famous once walked, or where a dramatic event took place. The Chelsea Hotel on West 23rd St. is a national landmark, & here are some of the people who have lived there.

I wrote ten puns and submitted them to a joke writing contest. I thought a few of them might make it to the final round, but no pun in ten did.

Remember when you would be introduced to a new person and you would say “How do you do?” Huh? I would always think “How do you do WHAT?” Does anybody still say that? It made no sense.

I love when teachers use my books in their curriculum. The 4th graders at Defino School in Marlboro NJ did a research paper on “The Homework Machine” & I’ll be zooming with them on Monday. Can’t wait! I have a few open dates for virtual school visits this term. Interested? Visit my website for info.

For months, I’ve been telling you there’s no way to see the My Weird School movie. Well, I just found out it’s available to rent on Amazon Prime and Apple TV. I wish it was free, and I’m sorry it’s not. If your kids enjoy reading My Weird School, I think they’ll enjoy the movie too. Spread the word!

In ancient times (the 1980s) I was a magazine editor. If anybody had told me back then that Ladies’ Home Journal, Family Circle, and Playboy would no longer be in print in 2026 but there would be TWO magazines focusing on inflammation, I would have said they were out of their mind.

OOPS! An adult reader asked why I wrote that Delaware has no seashore. I don’t know! I’ve BEEN to beaches in Delaware! I’m so embarrassed! What could I have been thinking? Sorry, Delaware. I’d also like to know why this book came out 10 years ago and nobody pointed out the mistake until now.

I confess that I don’t follow March Madness. Baseball has always been my favorite sport, and I’ve written 30 baseball books (seen here). I’ll talk more about baseball next Thursday—opening day!

I have the attention of a goldfish. No, I mean it! This goldfish has been staring at me for like a half an hour.

Take an audio trip! The Tilly family from Mississippi is on an epic spring break journey that has taken them to AL, TN, VA, DC, MD, PA, WV, OH, and KY. Son Michael is a fan and they’ve been bingeing My Weird School books for 10 days. I should write “The Tilly’s Are Silly!”

WHO LIVED HERE? Somebody REALLY famous grew up on the top floor of this New York City walk-up. In fact, more than one really famous person did. That’s all I’ll tell you right now. I’ll reveal the answer later today.

GRANDMA OF THE WEEK is Dorothy Parker Bobo from Delaware. Her grandchildren live in Texas and she doesn’t get to see them very often. So every month Dorothy sends them a “surprise package” with all kinds of goodies in it. Grandmas are the best!

The only problem with the nice AI image that I posted this morning is that I am LEFT HANDED (like Michelangelo, Einstein, Paul McCartney, Aristotle, Napoleon, Jimi Hendrix, Charlie Chaplin, David Bowie, Babe Ruth, LeBron James, Judy Garland, Jerry Seinfeld…)

Thanks to Liza Mae Lacierda from California for making this cool AI version of me. There’s just one problem with it. I’ll tell you what it is later today.

BLAH BLAH BLAH. The other day at The Southwest Florida Reading Festival, a girl asked me why I always write “Blah blah blah…” in My Weird School books. I told her that’s what I imagine kids hear while grownups are talking. (This example is from “Miss Nichol Is in a Pickle!”)

Something tells me I’m home.

Had a great time this week meeting readers at The Southwest Florida Reading Festival in Fort Myers and visiting The Ringling Museum in Sarasota. Back to work tomorrow.

How do you make a horse float? Two scoops of ice cream, and one scoop of horse.

I met Ryder a few years ago at a New Jersey bookstore. He’s read every My Weird School book. Now Ryder is in 5th grade & he beat 27 kids from 4 schools in a spelling bee. The winning word was…WEIRD! His mom told me, “I guess reading your books were the best spelling prep he could have had.”

Come see me and 25 other authors TODAY at the Southwest Florida Reading Festival at the Fort Myers Regional Library. I’ll be giving a talk at 11:15am and signing books in the afternoon. Free admission. For info: readfest.org

How do you turn young kids into lifelong readers? Have their older siblings read to them! Brian, a 1st grader in Pennsylvania, loves listening to his big brother Shawn (4th grade) read My Weird School books. Soon, I bet, Brian will be reading them on his own.

Ooooooh!!! Alan Katz put The S Word on his book cover! He’s gonna be in TROUBLE!

It occurred to me I never start a book from scratch. I start with something in the real world or a what-if question: What if a kid ran for president, or invented a machine that does homework? Then I build a story around that. I’m in awe of authors who start with a blank page and create a story.

READER OF THE WEEK is Jia, a first grader from California who has read a million words (!) this school year. Wow! Jia’s mom made this cool AI version of her.

I never write on an empty stomach. I prefer writing on paper.

Live in Florida? Come see me and 25 other authors at the Southwest Florida Reading Festival at the Fort Myers Regional Library this Saturday (3/7). I’ll be giving a talk at 11:15am and signing books in the afternoon. Admission is free. For more info: readfest.org

In cooking, you marinate a dish to enhance the flavor. I marinate my books. I finish writing the manuscript before the due date. Then I let it sit for a week. I don’t look at it. Then when I read it again, it’s like reading somebody else’s book. I can see my mistakes, and how to make it better.

During the early days of Covid, when schools shut down, I made 100 episodes of “My Weird Read-A-Loud”—on Facebook Live. It was so much fun. You can still view them today, for free. Go to my website (www.dangutman.com), click EDUCATOR RESOURCES and then MY WEIRD READ-A-LOUD.

My Weird Bookmarks! Ivan from Ohio turned 9 recently. To celebrate, he gave a My Weird School book and made a customized silly bookmark for each kid in his class. Great idea! My favorite: “My Friend Ella Sings Amazing A Cappella.”

Happy birthday to George Harrison, who would have been 83 today. That reminds me, Harrison (glasses) from New Jersey loves reading my book “Mr. Harrison Is Embarrassin’!” His brother Callaghan (no glasses) wishes there was a My Weird School book with HIS name on the cover. So his mom made him one!

NEVER GIVE UP! Mel Rosenberg has been writing for 50 years. Like most of us, he’s been rejected many times. Now he’s 74 and Mel’s first picture book “Emily Saw a Door” (Random House) comes out TODAY. He says, “giving up only reduces your odds from slim to zero.” Congrats on the book, Mel!

It’s so sad that Samuel Clemens died before any of us were born. I guess never the Twain shall meet.

When is it going to? I love snow, but as Groucho supposedly said, “I love cigars, but I take them out of my mouth once in a while."

James from Kentucky is 13. He discovered my books when he was little, but his mom tells me he still reads them every day. "Now he reads them like picture books,” she says. I love it! Sometimes I hear from adults who read kids books just for the fun of it. You’re NEVER too old for a silly story.

LISTEN UP! Six My Weird School books for FREE? I don’t even listen to audiobooks, but I’d be tempted by this. Audible has been offering some incredible deals lately. Wait a minute, how does anybody make money on this? Beats me. But you might as well jump on it. www.amazon.com/dp/B07VSHX64...

When I was a kid, I was a reluctant reader. But now I read most books cover-to-cover. I read the front cover. Then I read the back cover. Then I put the book down.

HEY AUDIO NERDS! Recorded Books is offering “The (Mostly) True Story of Cleopatra’s Needle” for 50% off until March 12th. That’s just $5.50. You can listen to a sample and order it here: www.audiobooks.com/promotions/p...