Some schools don’t want to zoom with me. They think kids will be bored. Wrong! Virtual author visits are even MORE engaging than in-person visits because the kids can be in their classroom instead of a big auditorium. See? I had a blast at Litchfield School in Litchfield Park, AZ on Thursday.

Just a few suggestions for this Valentines Day/Presidents Day weekend…

I love when teachers and librarians use my books for their curriculum. At The River School in Washington DC, 5th graders use “Flashback Four” as a jumping off point to choose pivotal moments in history and research how they changed America over the last 250 years.

WHICH COVER DO YOU LIKE BETTER? This is one of my favorites of my books. It didn’t sell very well, probably because the title didn’t say what the book was about. My fault. So, left or right?

WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE BETTER? Sometimes the publisher will change the cover of a book to renew interest in it, make it look more up-to-date, or some other reason. So, left or right?

Goodbye Kansas City. What a nice time we had visiting your wonderful city! Hope to see you again sometime, and until then l want to visit other great American cities I’ve never been to before. Any suggestions?

It comes out TODAY! I know I say this every time, but this is the best My Weird School book yet. And I mean it this time!

SATCH & ME: Spent yesterday here, at The American Jazz Museum, and The National Museum of Toys and Miniatures. By now, I guess you’ve gathered that my wife and I are total museum nerds.

Q: What’s the difference between Iron Man and Aluminum Man? A: Iron Man stops bad guys. Aluminum Man foils their plans.

Did you ever wonder why they call it the Super Bowl? I saw this today at The National Museum of Toys and Miniatures in Kansas City.

Had a great time today at The Rabbit Hole, an immersive museum of children’s literature in Kansas City. They have a bunch of rooms with characters and settings from classic children’s books. Very cool.

Where am I?

If not for this guy, you probably wouldn’t know my name. Stephen Fraser was a young editor at HarperCollins 23 years ago, when I submitted “Miss Daisy Is Crazy!” to him and pitched the idea of a school where all the grownups are nuts…

…I called the series “I Hate School.” Stephen said, ‘I’m not sure teachers and librarians will like that. How about My Weird School?” And the rest—109 books later—is history. Thanks Stephen!

Ooooooooh, look what I got in the mail! You’ll have to wait until Tuesday to get your copy. So nah nah nah boo boo on you!

Today is World Read Aloud Day. So read aloud with your kids today, and every day. When my son Sam was born 36 years ago, I read him my first baseball book. As you can see, he was really into it.

Okay, it’s time for the cold snap to end when they start building igloos in Central Park.

Some kids like to hold a book in their hands. Others like listening to audiobooks. And Kendrick, this 9-year-old from Ohio, likes to do BOTH. His dad told me that Kendrick loves to read a book and THEN hear the narration to really bring the book to life. Great idea!

Q: Why do condiments go to the library? A: So they can ketchup on their reading.

Happy February! A reader reminded me that the Valentine’s Day special is not my ONLY book about love. In My Weird School #20, the crossing guard Mr. Louie is a hippie who puts a love potion in the Ella Mentry School water fountains. What could possibly go wrong? Does A.J. have to kiss Andrea? Yuck!

No it’s not. It’s discouraging. It’s depressing. It hurts. Everyone in the arts—writers, actors, musicians, artists—has been rejected. I’ve been rejected 1000 times. The only good thing is if you get rejected over & over again & you keep trying, it builds character & makes you a stronger person.

R.I.P. Uncle Floyd, who passed away last week. He was my inspiration for Uncle Fred, the new music teacher at Ella Mentry School. New Jerseyans remember Floyd Vivino’s wacky cable TV show full of silly songs, oddball puppets, & parodies with characters like Oogie, Bones Boy, & Meatball the Clown.

It's almost that time again...

READERS OF THE WEEK are the third graders at Myrtle Attendance Center, a public school in Myrtle, Mississippi. I had a great time zooming with them recently. It’s not too late to book me for a visit with your school between now and June. For info, visit my website and click on VIRTUAL SCHOOL VISITS.

Birds are so good at social distancing.

Q: What did one plate say to the other? A: “Dinner is on me!”

I hope you enjoyed “Mel Brooks: The 99 Year Old Man” (HBO) as much as I did. Last summer I made a pilgrimage to the address where he grew up in Brooklyn (365 South 3rd St.). Sadly, the house isn’t there anymore. This building is. It was still cool, standing on the sidewalk where Mel stood.

At American International School in Shanghai, they have an event called “Books to Eat”--kids make food inspired by a book. Winston, 9, made this “dish” based on “Houdini and Me.” The whole thing is edible! It’s times like this when I’m glad I dropped out of grad school to write silly books for kids.

BAD NEWS. I was told the My Weird School movie would stream on Paramount+ soon after it appeared on Nickelodeon (on 12/30). But they have decided NOT to pick it up. I don’t know why, and I don’t know if another service might take it. So right now, as far as I know, there’s no way to see the movie…

…I feel bad for all of you who didn’t have the chance to see it on Nick, and I feel bad for myself, of course. I waited over 20 years for My Weird School to become a movie, and then it came and went in one night…

…I suppose I have no right to complain. Most authors have NEVER had a book turned into a movie. Anyway, if I hear any news, I’ll let you know.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is HarperCollins has asked Jim Paillot & I to create graphic novel versions of the 1st 4 My Weird School books (seen here). So after our current series reaches #12 (#10 comes out soon), the graphic novels begin. The bad news is…I’ll tell you tomorrow.

I was in Central Park when I saw Annamarie Trombetta painting Cleopatra’s Needle. I told her about my book “The (Mostly) True Story of Cleopatra’s Needle” & learned she’s traveled the world painting scenes that catch her eye. If you’d like to see more of Annamarie’s art, go to: www.trombettaart.com

Q: What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A: A synonym roll

Have you seen this new feature on Gmail? Now, before you start to write an email, a message pops up that says “Help me write.” Gee, thanks. I’m a writer. That’s what I do! I don’t need AI to tell me how to write an email. They should tell me how to do something I can’t do, like operate a fork lift.

I don't know why they say my books are easy to read.

For his birthday, I gave children’s book author Alan Katz a roll of wrapping paper. I told him that for MY birthday, he can buy me a present & wrap it in the wrapping paper. So what did he give me for MY birthday? THIS roll of wrapping paper! And he wrapped it in the wrapping paper I gave him!

Sometimes authors need to predict the future, and that’s hard to do. This is page 61 of the 1st My Weird School book, “Miss Daisy Is Crazy!” (2004). I had no idea that 22 years later there would be virtually no video stores left! Kids reading the book today probably wonder what I’m talking about.

Remember when you would be introduced to a new person and you would say “How do you do?” Huh? I would always think “How do you do WHAT?” I’m glad nobody says “How do you do?” anymore. It made no sense.

Kids often ask, “How many series have you written?” I figure that three books (or more) qualifies as a series, so these are all the series I have written. If you’d like information about any of them, please visit my website (www.dangutman.com) and click BOOKS.

I called to book a hotel room the other day. The receptionist picked up the phone and said “Best Western?” So I replied, “High Noon.”

Thanks to Starry Constellation mag for this review of The Picasso Curse—“a quick, fascinating read that will entice those that love a good mystery. Grab a spot on the couch for a book that will keep middle grade page turners invested in this gripping art adventure.” starrymag.com/the-picasso-...

The next My Weird School book, “Mrs. Granger Is In Danger!” comes out a month from TODAY. Mrs. Granger’s job is to keep the kids safe. (What could possibly go wrong?) While you’re waiting for the book to come out, have the kids color in Jim’s cover sketch…

I feel EXACTLY the same way!

THE MYTH: It costs a fortune to eat out in New York City. I saw an article recently that said one fancy restaurant offers a tomahawk steak for $435 and a fish fillet for $260…

…THE REALITY: You don’t have to go to places like that! There are terrific cheap restaurants all over NYC. One of my faves is Naruto, a ramen place in my neighborhood. My favorite dish is chicken cutlet curry ramen ($22). I can’t finish it, so I bring home half to eat the next day.That’s $11/meal.

EMAIL OF THE WEEK: “How does it feel to have totally predicted ChatGPT? The Homework Machine was a great book!”…

…I didn’t predict anything. AI has been around for a long time. I remember learning about it when I was in college, and I graduated in 1977. But thanks for the compliment. If you like The Homework Machine (2006), check out Virtually Perfect (1998), which has a similar theme (if you can find it).