I am hurting so much. My hands and toes are killing me and my general sucks and I’m so constipated all the time. And miralax makes it worse.

I hate having to decide between allowing drs to just do test after test vs reigning them In when they get off track.

Wicked 2: loved the movie. Worried for Glinda. She’s so so thin. They decorated her clavicle

I’m having a miserable week. I’ve got an allergy rash, my car poked my eye and now it’s unhappy, and I tweaked my back. I almost ended up at the drs that I’m avoiding.

My everything hurts & I’m packing for a big show & my stupid general doc wants to have a meeting about why I freaking want Tylenol with codine. my kidney dr says It’s a good idea. She just needs you to fill out a freaking form for me to sign. Just be a good cog & let me not hurt sometimes.

Today I have been thinking why do we expect an afterlife. Like why isn’t one go good enough for us?

My prescription coverage is now insisting that I get my meds delivered or they won’t cover them. This is bull. It’s blackmail. Get them delivered or no drugs for you. Well f you.

A month or so ago I went into the ER for, what turned out to be, a pulled muscle over my rib cage. I went to my local hospital. The very hospital I got my hysterectomy from 9 yrs ago. They did a pregnancy test. If it had come back positive I’d have sued. What the heck!!!

I was on Statins. Statins caused me to have joint pain, fatigue, muscle twitching, and cognitive issues. My general thought I was depressed. Another of my drs said maybe it’s the statin. The cardiologist was all take the statin. The other doctor said maybe we can stop it for a few weeks.

youtu.be/s_nc1IVoMxc?... The first spin of hospitals and doctors where I was making the decisions was when I was 13. My parents were proud I was making my own medical decisions. I shouldn’t have been making them but I was and I still am 34 yrs later. I feel this song in my bones.

So, I have kidney failure (state 3). It’s ok I’m fine. Or at least that isn’t the issue. The issue is I also have arthritis. I have been told there is nothing to do for my pain cause kidneys. Dr’s this is how people seek crazy plans from the internet. You have left me with no options and pain. Sigh.

I thought that I was doing better. Turns out I was just drinking enough caffeine to overcome my exhaustion.

I am good about getting my vaccines. I didn’t used to get the flu shot because I’d have an extreme reaction but then my immune system decided to malfunction & I added it into the rotation. I am angry that I can not get the shingle vaccine cause I’m not old enough. Yes I’ve had chicken pox.

Hahaha, I have to pee but the bathroom is like 20 steps away and I don’t want to make those steps. How long have I had to pee? Oh an hr ish. What? Like I said the bathroom is just painfully far away. But you can see it? Yep I can see it and I will go soon.

Saw the immunologist today. I have Schrödinger’s immune system. My igm is 23 which is lower than normal but not low enough to meet the technical definition of immune compromised.

You ever wish that, when you went to your test results section of your medical portal page, you could see a progress bar on the test results.

Sigh, my legs and arms are now slow twitching. I don’t know if this is something people just rise above and live with or if I should be fighting harder to get dr’s to listen. Figure first step is to go to get all my blood work done. Then I can ask about the statin bs.

My legs twitching always upsets me. I hate the feeling and drs are always it’s fine. Sigh

Today my hips, knees, calves, and ankles all hurt and my husband is like sorry I took you out. Seems like it was too much. F no it wasn’t I’m fine. So now I’m pretending I’m fine.

I just want to be bundled up I. Lots of blankets, sat in a wheelchair, and wheeled around a garden In the sunlight.

Finally got one of my doctors to acknowledge that the miracle of my improved cholesterol may not be all that if I no longer feel like myself.

Lately I no longer feel like me and it makes me want to stop all my life saving medications. My short term disability is shot, my endurance is crap, I’m constantly avoiding something I’m allergic to, I’m now doing a ton of small things to not die, & even wearing my normal clothing is frequently meh.

My hands hurt a lot lately. I’m not horribly tired this second but I am a bit cold. Also I think I’m firing a Dr.

Some days my mouth is dry, my legs are twitching, and I just don’t want to anymore.

My legs hurt so much tonight. I wish I was sleeping and yet I am awake.

I went to an event with a buffet this weekend. I contacted the group ahead, I gave them a list of my allergies, they assured me that the ingredients would be listed on the tags, & I was assured there would be the option to order off the regular menu. I just wanted to look like everyone else.

I hate how my hands feel like they are on fire.

I hate how easily I wear out now. Also I am a medical nightmare.

Some days I just don’t want to anymore. Relax, I’m not doing anything. I am just so tired of all of it. I’m tired of the meds, doctors, blood draws, etc… I just don’t want to.

Hahaha my legs are so unhappy. So so unhappy the muscle are acting like a thick sauce that’s reached a rolling boil. Not in pain persay but constantly moving but not restless like. Like small bits of muscle just each taking a turn clenching.

I burnt myself today and did not feel it. Sigh.

My toes have been twitching. Nice when they work out without my consent.

I was bed bound for three days this week because over the weekend I walked 40,000 steps. Isn’t it nice when your body rewards your hard work (sarcasm).

I’m so frustrated because my favorite doctor was all you look so much better than you did two years ago. But all the issues are still there. They’re just being managed. They didn’t go away. the numbers aren’t even better they are just stable, and this “better” is just a lot of work.

My doctor said that I am doing so much better than I was 2 years ago because I’m not longer covered in hives and I seem so functional. Sigh, I have lots of medicine and coping strategies. If I let up on any of them I’d look exactly like I did 2 yrs ago. Head desk.

You ever drink water and feel it spreading to your vial organs? No… are you sure? Oh no of course not.

Apparently, According to my husband, my legs have decided to river dance at night. I have looked up some stretches and will try to employ them to reduce the restless leg.

I am so frustrated with the medical community. Last year I was concerned cause my blood sugar was going up despite me making no dietary changes. I have both kidney failure and I’m on statins so either/ both could be the cause. 1/5

Woot good news My triglycerides are 278 down from over 5,000. My glucose is 96 down from 160. My eGFR is up to 48 (stage 3a kidney failure) from 36 (stage 3b) So yay!!!

Owwwwww, everything hurts after a surprisingly good holiday. Took a 3 hr nap after everyone left woke up in pain. Now to distract myself.

Taking a sit from making food to reduce pain enough to make poke cupcakes and mac&cheese.

I just saw a show that highlighted a disposable plate and fork made of wheat. If I die because I failed to ask is the plate gluten free i… I… well I’ll be dead but fudge.

Got my vaccines yesterday. Had a poor night and my arm is painful today but I did walk around my house for 30 min for exercise. Now to give myself my every other week shots.

So I got my Covid and flu shots and am having a hive flair up. Sigh.

When I get vaccines my arm is absolutely useless. Hurts to move it enough that I have no interest in moving it and doctors always go well you have to move it. It rather feels like when I had really bad cramps, well cramps are bad, but endometriosis? Nah bad cramps. Yrs later yes endometriosis. Sigh

My legs are trying to cramp. I hate it when they try to cramp. Sigh

Ahhhhhhh, I don’t know why but getting the apt to test the accuracy of my at home bp cuff sent me spiraling down the anger of my first and only meeting with my nutritionist. Now there is steam coming out my ears and I want to scream. Sigh.

I have been occasionally truly cold for the first time in my life this winter. I mean yeah I’ve been cold before. I have been on the verge of frostbite. But this year I have been shaking cold while healthy cold. I don’t like it. Luckily, I purchased heated gloves. It helps.

Got a lot done today and now I’m in pain. No sleep in my near future.

I use this account to talk about med stuff. It is not all my life. I like to keep this separate from my other account though.