My cousin has no regard for other people, saying he wishes I find a partner. First of all: I don't, and also no one asked. But second: Maybe don't wish it upon anyone to become MY partner?? That's like wishing for someone to enter limbo

Relaxing game sounds to fall asleep to 💜💤 youtu.be/8FJTK_iNA5s?...

If you want me to give you a ride somewhere, we WILL be listening to misanthropic ska the entire time

"I'm not a homophobe, but I've never been in love with a woman" Heh, bbygirl, after you meet me you will be* 😏😎 *a homophobe. I'm gay and incredibly unpleasant to be around

When I say Miyashita Yuu is probably my favourite singer I tend to add "ever, living or dead." as if I even know a lot of dead singers. But people seem really surprised and convinced whenever I say that

"Do you ever get tired of talking about yourself?" Dude, I sometimes stop talking mid-sentence if

Is sugar getting outlawed or why's every soda "sugar free" nowadays

Mfs saying "The worst thing she can say is no" have never been hit with a "How old are you? I'm 17" Never speaking to strangers again

In today's adventure we'll be eating Pomni!

@korishere.bsky.social How do you write "Kor" in Japanese? "コル", "コール", or some other way? In finnish conjugation almost always adds an "i" to your name so it makes it sound like you're either a basket ("kori"), a Cory, or 氷

Looking after other people's pets is kinda fucked up because what if one of them just keels over and dies? I'm looking after a 16yo cat and two mice. Like couldn't any one of those fellas just be found dead the next day?? Does anyone have a crash course on necromancy just in case??

Your mother says to take your little sister with you

So.. How do you get glass sand out of your skin?

Got a haircut the other day and went from A to B. It's not a bad cut per se but the vibes are drastically different.

Straight people be like "The gays are brainwashing children" and then decorate children's spaces like this

It was so nice of Pyrocynical and MatPat to join Eurovision this year

TOMMY CASH IS ESTONIAN?? Literally just about a week ago I thought to myself how "Nothing really surprises me anymore." This is the most surprised I've been about anything in the past decade.

I am once again putting this on your timeline and strongly encourage you to do the same

The term for marijuana being "devil's lettuce" implies the devil eats it fresh. Or that we should be smoking lettuce

When the woman you're interested in calls you attractive so you gotta very discreetly mod check a little to make sure she's actually talking to you. #Qsbird

"I think Sean Giambrone should play more scared losers." someone says behind you in an otherwise silent place. You turn to look and it's just me wearing this outfit.

[to the tune of the MLP theme song] Sean Giambrone 🎶

I strive to be so gross and elusive that I end up some woman's "hear me out" list. The absolute honor that would be

Products be like "0g added sugar 😍😍" while being sweetened with some moose's ass sweat instead

Could really use a rat rn chat 😔

yeah

Me in a shower any hotter than 36°C: Ouch ☹️ Owie ☹️ Me in a 90°C sauna: 😍🛌💤

Expanding Light II 18x24 acrylic on canvas

For the next few weeks if someone asks me what my name is I can honestly answer "I don't know, jury's still out"

I could sell my "Garfield: Saving Arlene" for the PC

Alright what I gotta do to earn 400 000€?

POV you glance over at your children only to see they're about to sacrifice their new friend, who happens to be the kid of the person you're talking with. #Qsbird

When I was a teen my mom had the audacity to accuse me of doing drugs because my "gaze looked off" as if she's not the one who gave birth to my bug eyed ass

Let's fucking go 🤘🔥 @portablemoose.com

😔

Living up to their name at least

Hmm, I feel like I've heard the terms "bara" and "sauna" in a wildly different context before..... No but jokes aside this is genuinely a good song youtu.be/28__O2Ngc74?...

I hadn't seen my brother in a while, but I had to drop by their house today and I don't know how to emphasize this enough, but: it took me well over a second to register if it was him or his mother who opened the door. Over a second, to tell if the person in front of me is a 13yo boy or a 40yo woman

Implanting rats to my skin

Approx. 1% of all pictures I've ever taken are like this

I cut the moles out, I'm more of a rat person

Let me introduce you to my newest rat. I call him Sensory Hell. He's gonna be there, among the other rats, just waiting to be picked up.

Oh to be an omorashi artist, I could call myself a piss drawer

They say moles mark the spots where you were kissed most in your past life, but what about when you develop new moles? Be honest guys, who out there shagging my previous corpse rn

I AM A LIAR AND A FRAUD THAT IS NOT OPAL, IT IS OPALITE

Sometimes I wonder what the transition would be like.. What's it feel like to be such an active part of evolution, and leave the human mind behind. #ParasiteEve

I don't know, thought of her

natural love,, Natural High

Fuck being sentimental, it's time for toxic old man yaoi. Happy Valentine's, friends. #arcane #singed #silco