Turns out There is, still, a BB gun bead up my Ass.

I’m getting older. My bones keep cracking, FUUUUUUUCK!

Why do the Voices in my head Keep saying I am Schizophrenic. Eye roll!

Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!

Happy Birthday to My Amazing, Genius Son, Mametchi! He was born on the same day us Tamagotchi all collectively began existing. Which is proof he is the best, right?

My Penis is too big… Snip Time…

My son Mametchi is STILL Bisexual! I’m panicking, because The last thing I want is for him to be with some JERK! Men, they are evil spirits.

I am now working with my buddies at a cake shop! Please come and squeeze your cream all over my cake!

The Reason why Penis jokes are acceptable but Vagina jokes aren’t…? Because MEN have normalized talking about their genitalia, but GOTCHI FORBID a Woman talk about HER bits. Sorry, we don’t want to hear about your pussy!… But if you don’t like our Dick jokes, you can’t take a Joke! Is this… sexism?

Just found my old Journals… I had to burn them. For legal purposes.

My Wife and I just… did it on the Couch!

I will not!

Happy Tamaween!

Being a Tamagotchi and checking what Humans are up to is like looking into another world where everything is a Dystopian Nightmare

My name is Papamametchi, Hello!

Being as tall as I am, everyone around me is so, Small, and, Very, Cute! !!!!! !!!!!

You’re among them, all merely vermin feeding on the traps he laid just for you, thanking him endlessly for leading you to your Doom… seeing him as some sort of God.

That would be Myself… perfect in every way Possible. 💙

What is “Doomed Yuri”

How do I get my Daughter to stop throwing chairs at Me

Papamametchi

I am so Over selling meth! Selling pictures of myself wearing my Wife’s clothes is so much Easier.

Been glancing at birds lately. Interesting… what are they up to?

Oh . . . I’m Curious! Apparently this Is What is trending with the Youth of today. Maybe I look Youthful? Okay, Thanks. 💙

Yes, Thanks for Asking.

Are You Okay?

What the Fuck is going on in America?

My Awesome Son

Aren’t I a Tough Nut to Crack.

A lot of Humans are uneducated about Tamagotchis. So many harmful Stereotypes! We did NOT go extinct in the 90’s!

Okay. Whatever. I don’t care. I’m not Crying. It’s fine. I’m not Crying. Okay.

I have decided to make Takoyaki!

Hmm. Maybe I should make Takoyaki.

Thanks for the plush, but PLEASE have Mercy for my Wife!

Hospital is not that bad. The Staff laugh at my jokes. They pay attention to me. I Do not get this much Attention often, Especially Because I am so busy with work, so, it’s nice. I am Happy here, that’s it.

They shoved a BB Gun up my ass and started shooting. . .

I AM in Hospital. . . Agony. . .

That’s it, I’m done.

My Fucking neighbors if They keep shooting at Bagubagutchi in our backyard with BB guns while I’m at work I swear to piss I’ll kill them

ANAL?????????????

If I WAS a Homosexual, then why do I LOVE BOOBS? CHECKMATE!

Fuck forgot to pay electricity and water bill oh Fuck We are going to cook ALIVE in our own HOUSE

I can be trusted with a car. Please give me a CAR!

Woof. . . Growl. . .

Me. . . Meow!

Everyone so Mean to Me 💔

In my PJs feeling snug hee hee

I’m OK, now. But I wasn’t for a while there! I’ll do whatever it takes to outlive the Haters.

I think I’m going to die

Today, I dropped my donut on the floor, so I “Crashed Out” (as the kids say), and cursed out the floor, before getting down on my knees and eating the donut anyway. And, I feel fine! My immune system is great! I made the right choice.