My bridesmaids dress broke so I’ve had to go home and change and I don’t think I’ve been more stressed in the entirety of my existence.

ANDDDD ONE NIGHT ONLY… JAN

Fainted this morning

In IT cos my laptop’s electrocuted me twice this morning

Why does any news about Artemis II keep making me want to cry?! I need to get a grip. Think I’m due on…

Sorry. I’ve just noticed that Trump speaks like Dr Evil.

I must look majorly depressed because my mum just randomly hugged me tightly, said she will always look after me and then told me where I can find her will she’s addressed to me 😐

Got proper Sunday night, Heartbeat depression even though we’ve got tomorrow off.

My uncle bought me a Lindt Chocolate Bunny for Easter and my dad ATE IT!

Just saw a tweet from a journalist saying Trump has been potentially hospitalised and this meme was the top reply underneath

Sitting in the living room and the neighbour across the road with the LED headlights has just pulled out of his driveway

Went to the loo with the door open cos I didn’t want Harvey freaking out that he was alone but it didn’t matter anyway cos he couldn’t see me.

And one very young puppy to one very old dog

I’ve just had the M&S Chicken Kiev Hot Melting Dip and I can confirm it plays up to the hype. I now, however, feel like a right fat, garlicky, chicken Kiev slag.

People Brian Cox has slagged off (right) versus everyone else.

Next door is looking after this beauty - Nasher

Today’s throwback. 4th April 1997.

I really quite fancy that Scottish bloke on TikTok who makes reassuring videos about being hungover

I really quite fancy that Scottish bloke on TikTok who makes reassuring videos about being hungover

Another day, another cat

Me, Jan and Mr Jan

Posing with my self portrait x

Feels too long since I scoused up myself

Got a job rejection and it wasn’t an April Fools joke WAHEYYYY

Jan wants you all see her nails

Happy April fools day x

New profile pic just dropped x

she deleted this

My mum found all my Andrex toys (and some adopted dogs) I collected as a kid to give to my cousin’s little girls ❤️

Look at my meal from Saturday guys

Was going to go to the gym tonight but after the news of the KitKat truck, Scott Mills and Matt Healy’s bins I decided I needed a night in the take it all in.

‘Succulent Chinese meal’ speech added to Australia’s National Film and Sound Archive

BST has arrived all x

My old street ❤️

Must have been dribbling and staring at the food in the kebab shop cos they gave me crisps to eat whilst I waited .

Liked one photo of Son Heung-min and now I’m getting all his first traps.

Was just thinking today how this is the first day I feel half contented/ relaxed since the redundancy announcement and then I spilt the entirety of my perfectly made Diet Coke with ice, lemon and lime onto my lap 👍🏻

Mr and Mrs TFL here

Waitress just came up to our table and asked if we wanted desert just as I was doing this to my dad from across the table

Watch until the end I’m dying 😂

Asked my parents if they would ever consider voting Tory in order to keep Reform out and they said yes. Although I think it broke their hearts to say it.

On a scale of 0 to Chappell Roan’s PR team, how busy is your week looking?

Had a dream last night that some random girl in a toilet queue tried to cut my hair at the scalp and the level of violence dream me responded with has me just lying here wondering if I need to seek a therapist.

Has my mum and dad opened a cat sanctuary since I’ve moved out?

Went for my eyebrow tattoo top up appointment this week so I can only face mask half my face

Gone into M&S with my dad. Him: “The sushi is this way.” Me: “I know.” Him: “Yeah I know you do.”

“Go outside and see some nature it might cheer you up.” The nature:

Waffle the Cat