My mum’s worried she’s going to be investigated because all three of our piano tuners have died.

Same day my arse - where’s my spell?!

What on Earth have I stumbled across on TikTok???!!!

Not saying I’m a bit mentally unstable at the moment but why am I going through my emails and finding out I bought a spell on Etsy for good luck in the middle of the night?!!!

Throwback to the Queen’s Jubilee street party, where my neighbour brought out a green chair for my Irish dad.

Been a bit down the last month and found my sister’s old Nintendo Switch so decided to play it as a distraction and have turned into a full iPad kid.

I’ve got a cold so I’m trying to convince Lauren we should get Pho tonight.

The weather and my mood today is giving this.

On the verge of a breakdown 🥰🥰🥰

Erm wtf Debenhams?

That’s lunch and dinner sorted

This is how I felt

Zara better count its fucking days I swear to God. Just tried on a dress that had such little room to get my fat head through that it got completely stuck. Got myself into such a panic I almost ran out into the street naked to beg someone to tear it off me/ call the fire brigade.

Gym instructor convinced me to use heavier weights yesterday, so when we were stretching at the end and doing upward-facing dog, my arms buckled and I face-planted the floor ✌🏻

Got catcalled by a man on balloons driving past in his car at 06:30 this morning whilst I was dressed like a teenage boy.

I’m sleeping in a box room tonight

Throwback to when I took my dog to the groomers and they sent back THIS

Wahey

Think I just featured in the background of a news report at Lewisham station looking fucking miserable on this train (I’m not I’m just thinking about what to have for lunch)

Not sure if I have had an upset tummy for the past few weeks or if my IBS days from my early to mid 20s are back in full force.

The little girl in Rivals is just racist like

Be warned everyone - Jan’s going on a cruise in July

When I’m ruler of the world any person smashing someone’s face into a cake is getting life imprisonment. Stop showing me the videos they piss me off.

Me on a call discussing my redundancy

Staying at my mum and dads and I’ve had to rewash all my clothes because my suitcase has made them all smell damp but don’t worry I’ve found an old dress I left here so I can go about the day looking like I belong on the set of Rivals.

Tuesday

Aww, my work is proudly showing off that my team and I are finalists for a prestigious award for a huge project we worked on last year. They’re still making us all redundant.

What we all thinking about Katie Price’s AI husband? Is he a con artist or is this some PR stunt. Or as he actually been kidnapped 😭

Me during my John Travolta era

Been listening to Michael Palin’s diaries for a while now, and it’ll be interesting when I get to the part where John Cleese becomes a far-right raving nutcase.

Thought I got a cute videos of a fox playing and chucking some random object and then I realised he was just killing a rat

Thoughts and prayers to my dad today who bought a season ticket for Millwall thinking next season would be ‘their best ever’.

Watching some classic Eastenders and what an episode I’ve stumbled across

Greg Davies shouldn’t be doing the BAFTAs he should be doing me.

Pole throwback

Sudden urge to die my hair Sophie Turner ginger

Another pandemic making its way into our lives

My mum’s told me five times that there’s been a marathan for robots in China and I don’t know what she wants me to do with this information if I’m perfectly honest.

Will never sing this song any other way now

If we go into lockdown will they restart TOTP Fridays from the start?

Oioi been offered a job

Unite Union say that NO unions provide reps for individual redundancy consultation meetings - is this true? Haha

Anyone with Unite Union? I can’t say I’m overly impressed - they’re just outright ignoring me.

Anyone with Unite Union? I can’t say I’m overly impressed - they’re just outright ignoring me.

You gotta enrol with it

Happy Birthday Michael Palin, born this day in 1943.

Some men kept asking me if I was B1 or B2 from the Bananas in Pyjamas

The ozempicication of Easter eggs need to be stopped!

Lauren took a photo of me in some confession booth and I actually look dead

Found where you lot hang out