In the next panel, Thel, with the same nonplussed expression etched on her face, replies: 'If you don't care for the cherry pie, I've got a knuckle sandwich for you that's out of this world.'

The real punchline: It's not.

In addition to eliminating work-from-home and hybrid employment, J.C. Dithers & Co. makes its employees come in on a federal holiday, and -- worse -- forces them to attend an Oktoberfest-in-winter concert. Can an unfair labor practices suit be far behind?

As a lone flame dances around them, Mary Worth and her paramour, Jeff, engage in the decades-old romantic practice known as "pie showdown," during which long-time intimates try to gain an edge over one another by flaunting just the right forkful of pastry...

The challenges of working with anthropomorphic animals: When one hears that 'a possum left a deposit at Reeky Rat's car lot,' it's entirely plausible to believe that a transaction took place that did not involve money or currency....

Mary Worth 'says' she ordered the 'grilled seafood platter,' and particularly enjoyed the flounder, but a look at her plate reveals no grilled fish whatsoever and only a plate filled with asparagus and new potatoes...

Someone over at the collective that puts out 'Six Chix' is decidedly NOT a fan of Valentine's Day, scribbling a panel in which the lovelorn aren't coddled or tolerated but put out of their misery with harsh eye-blaster rays...

Unsettling turn in today's 'Dennis the Menace'!

Why doesn't Garfield have these problems,' asks character named in article headline....

Zero stars for this week's NYT Metropolitan Diary, which offers thin, unsurprising tales of a cat perched outside a city deli and an overheard snatch of mobile phone conversation about a poetry student....

'I don't recall asking for new verses or a rewrite,' says Paul Simon, quickly dispatching a cadre of intellectual-property attorneys to descend on the creators of 'Shoe'...

Chip, not known for wearing designer mauve jackets and loose-fitting black turtlenecks, is quietly trying to up his fashion game...

Dagwood Bumstead has no degree in psychiatry of which we are aware, and that would seem to be borne out by his strange advice to his local barber, whose OCD has surfaced yet again. Taking a nap won't his lower Olympics fever, Dag (but some thoughtfully prescribed pills might)...

Mary Worth has been butting into her neighbors' social and romantic situations for more than 80 years, so it's not surprising that sometimes she goes on non-linear talking jags that make little sense to anyone who might hear them...

The axe is still swinging above CBS News. The Paramount Skydance unit is considering a fresh round of layoffs, according to three people familiar with the matter, and the cuts could total at least 15% of current staff... variety.com/2026/tv/news... via @variety

Those fears we had about a new cartoonist taking over 'Nancy' have been borne out...

Tony Dokoupil suddenly has a lot less people helping him get 'CBS Evening News' out each weekday.... variety.com/2026/tv/news...

'They may remind you of parrots, Mary, but any large gathering of seagulls reminds me that these waters are full of refuse and carrion, so let's turn around and do something else.'

A helpless pizza slice utters a wordless protest before violent Dagwood rends it into many pieces using only his teeth and a lack of empathy for inanimate objects...

Overall viewership at NBC's "Today" surged 23% year over year last week as the program grappled with the abduction of co-host Savannah Guthrie's mother, Nancy, and NBC's Olympics telecasts lured bigger audiences variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Disney plans a Super Bowl 'ManningCast' in 2027 and is readying a suite of content tie-ins across the company to boost its first Big Game telecast since 2006 variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Anchors at NBC's “Today” face complicated terrain, wrestling on air with intense emotions tied to the ordeal of colleague Savannah Guthrie and the fact that the subjects of the story are nearer to them than is the norm. variety.com/2026/tv/news... via @variety

Super Bowl Ad Review: Madison Avenue tapped the brakes on most somber Super Bowl commercials Sunday night, with many trying to do something Big Game ads haven’t always done — make people feel good. variety.com/2026/tv/news... via @variety

Commercial breaks often give TV viewers time for a trip to the bathroom — but never quite like this. variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Most Super Bowl commercials aim to be faster, louder and shinier than the rest. And then there are lo-fi Big Game ads from advertisers like Coinbase.... variety.com/2026/tv/news...

A Big Tech horde -- Anthropic, Open AI, Amazon, Meta and some start ups -- bet Super Bowl ads can put a human face on AI.... variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Shady Shrew is one of the most inept crooks swirling their way through this nation's justice system, but damn if he didn't just come up with a fascinating new crime: ordering room service meals when hotel guests are out for the day....

This may be the filthiest 'Mary Worth' ever produced....

This NYT Metropolitan Diary anecdote -- fresh from 2023! -- takes readers on an arduous walk through Manhattan, but still seems to get nowhere....

This was inevitable: Dagwood, who has likely dined on every kind of meat both fresh and processed, is considering turning to cannibalism...

Ads from Oikos, e.l.f, Tecovas and Raisin Bran won't appear on NBC's Big Game telecast this weekend -- but they are Super Bowl commercials just the same. Streaming-only Super Bowl spots reach only a % of the audience, but still get national play variety.com/2026/tv/news...

We should have known it was Jeffy all along...

'June is the most supportive wife in the world -- always there for me. Except when I start asking for cosplay...'

Mary uses a ceaseless stream of chatter to distract her friend while preparing to devour a giant meal that consists of a giant slice of cheesecake dumped without ceremony on a very large salad, while her pal sips lemon water...

Rob Hyland will be in charge of NBC's Super Bowl coverage for the first time and the executive producer must keep viewers at the Big Game, then send them to the Winter Olympics. No pressure! Hyland says he's 'kind of in uncharted waters'... variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Super Bowl advertisers left scrambling after surge of female and GenZ consumers to football, creating sports crowds so big and broad that there may be no one single way to catch the attention of everyone who has tuned in to watch.... variety.com/2026/tv/news... via @variety.com

Now it’s Tom Llamas‘ turn to try his hand at a Super Bowl tradition: the pre-game interview with the President of the United States. variety.com/2026/tv/news...

NBC Sports Seeking Replacement for Savannah Guthrie at Winter Olympics variety.com/2026/tv/news... via @variety

Inside Sabrina Carpenter’s Short, Sweet Super Bowl Relationship With Pringles variety.com/2026/tv/news... via @variety

Nielsen aims to use Super Bowl LX to test new ways of counting 'out of home' viewers at bars, hotels, offices -- a goal that has proven elusive and spurred much hand-wringing by TV networks variety.com/2026/tv/news... via @variety

The next time the NFL doesn’t like the way ESPN covers the league, its executives can go right to the boss — by looking in the mirror. Disney and league confirmed late Saturday that they closed a deal that makes the NFL a minority stakeholder in ESPN variety.com/2026/tv/news...

'I'm grateful to you, Toby. You make me a better man. I'm sorry I can't afford to fill our glasses with any of the many liquids or drinks this restaurant might offer.'

Is this real? An entry in 'NYT Metropolitan Diary' that refers to of-the-moment pop culture? Too bad the anecdote's denouement is as trifling as most of the older stories that typically appear in this feature...

With pizza no longer a pie-in-the-sky business, Pizza Hut has gotten crusty about running ads in the Super Bowl pre-game.....🍕 variety.com/2026/tv/news...

At last, one of the characters in 'Judge Parker' reveals the strip's dirty little secret: 'No. NO. This doesn't make any sense.'

Don Lemon can’t anchor “The Don Lemon Show” at present, but that doesn’t mean the program has gone quiet. A group of prominent creators and influencers kept Lemon’s YouTube channel active Friday, asking viewers known as “Lemon Heads” for support variety.com/2026/tv/news...

Scoop: Pizza Hut is slicing out the Super Bowl pre game show, where it has run commercials for years trying to get football fans to buy pizza ahead of the Big Game. The chain exits the pre game as parent Yum Brands evaluates its future strategy... variety.com/2026/tv/news...

'Well, you can tell June Morgan we'll get to Johnny just as soon as our medical personnel figure out how to use the light switch on the wall behind me'

Please, learn how to handle your contractions, or your children might suffer rejection and isolation!

Even Dennis the Menace thinks he can get influencer money...