On Monday, our Ted Arrows 'Bearobatic' display team conducted a flyover to mark Bearwood Independance Day. The team were meant to create vapour trails in red, yellow and green to represent our flag, but the dyes accidently got mixed, resulting in unfortunate brown streaks being left across the sky.

Quite often we are lucky to discover some real antique packaging amongst our paper recycling. This piece will be added to our new '1980s Nostalgia cabin' at Shidas Lane Tip. It will look great alongside all our Jim'll Fix It annuals. It's open for visits each Thursday. Admission cost 1 jam jar.

Today saw the release of our first Beavers at Thimblemill Brook in Bearwood, as part of a new Beaver reintroduction programme. The reintroduction follows a recent public consultation, which saw a very positive response to the question "Would you like to see more beavers?"

One of the first signs of spring is the sleepy emergence of Mr Simon from his burrow, where he has been hibernating through the winter months. Soon his territorial song will be drifting through the park, hoping to keep other ice cream vans away.

West Midlands Constabulary earlier announced the creation of a new unit called The Polite Force which will focus on tackling 'general impoliteness'. The squad made their first arrest today when a bus passenger was detained for 'failing to adequately thank the bus driver' upon disembarking.

The mannequin display at 'Suits UK' shop in Bearwood has been nominated in the national Mannequin awards (Mankies) in the category of 'Best Accidental Album Cover'. The display features an inventive 'brass Peaky Blinders barefoot masquerade ball' theme.

The West Midlands Combined Authority has today announced the results of its public vote on a rebrand of the West Midlands County. The current name was felt to be lacking the same cultural heft as Greater London or Greater Manchester, and is often confused with the wider West Midlands region.

To celebrate Valentines day we look back on the most recent series of Emily in Paris, which saw Emily relocate to Bearwood (due to it being twinned with Le Blanc-Mesnil, Paris) to help grow the Agence Grateau Office. The series sees Emily pursuing romance with local Bearwood men.

We are looking to capitalise on Bearwoods nickname of the 'Tokyo of the Black Country' by implementing a 'scramble crossing' at the Bear junction, similar to that at Shibuya crossing in Toyko. The crossing would allow pedestrians to cross in whatever whimsical way they want.

Bearwood's East Bank has now reporedly fallen to Goosezilla. We will work to recapture the area by luring the creature back to Edgbaston Reservoir (gulf of Bearwood) with maple syrup pancakes.

Are you worried that your teenager may be texting about Bearwood? 👀 We've put this handy guide together to help you decipher what they are saying:

Jumping on the current social media trend we asked AI to create a caricature of what it thinks the leader of Bearwood Council looks like based on what it knows about us. Here's the result. 💯

The beautiful Global Wines Car Park is one of Bearwood's most famous public squares, and is a great place to sit and watch the hustle and bustle of this vibrant area. It is currently the 9th top thing to do in Smethwick according to TripAdvisor:

'Bearwind' is the official supplier of portable hand fans to Bearwood Council. They are the only fan that promises to "expel wind with the same force and consistency as a flatulent bear". Some people complain about the associated odour the fans emit, but in our view this adds to the experience.

The Bread Tree is considered to be protocarniverous as it has evolved large sticky pads that look like sliced bread, designed to attract small birds, such as Blue Tits. Once the bird lands on the pad, the 'bread' folds in half, trapping the bird in a 'sandwich' before digesting it.

In case you missed the news, today marks the first day of the phase 1 trial for the pedestrianisation of Bearwood Road. We've reduced the road to one carriageway between the Bear Tavern and Rutland Road, and installed ping pong tables. Already they are proving to be a big hit!

To celebrate West Bromwich being named the UK's 'Swinging Capital' NX West Midlands have announced a special 'Hop-on-Hop-Off' swingers fare for those travelling to West Brom on the no.48. You may still need to take your car keys though!

Today marks 15 years since Bearwood's greatest unsolved mystery: why did a trail of unopened bags of Cheese and Onion McCoys appear along Herbert Road? 🤔

HONOUR THE OLD GODS! Today at Thimblemill Library with performances of Wassail Songs and Mummers Plays. 2pm. Free. We assume/hope they will not be lighting fires inside the library. We don't want a Library of Alexandria Situation.

Great News! The Mr Models Window display has been granted a Grade II listing status! The listing is based on both the composition of the long-established display, which includes a limited edition action figure of Stuart Maconie in space attire, released by NME in 1998.

As yesterday was Blue Monday, we officially declare today 'Ruby Tuesday'. Go get a curry. You've earned it! Bearwood has you covered in this regard! 😋

There has recently been some *ahem* CAPITAL promotion of Bearwood far and wide! We expect to be overrun with hundreds of curious Czech and Cockney tourists before long!

With Barcelona's Sagrada Familia due to finally be completed in 2026 the mantle Europe's most significant unfinished building will pass to the magnificent planned ediface on the corner of Belmont Road, which began construction four years ago, and is still some way off being completed.

Aldi in Bearwood has recently bolstered its security presence to counter a recent spate of shoplifting incidents. Store manager Hazel said, "Our supermarket is normally full of beans, but due to the recent thefts, we are currently completely bereft of beans!"

Someone may need to check on Sandwell Council to make sure they're ok....

This mysterious poster has appeared at Warley Woods with Jesus seemingly offering a 'Son of Man' with Van service. In this economy it's sad that even carpenters need a 'side hustle' to make ends meet. Cheap! Clean! Coming Soon! The poster is not Council-affilated.

Here's a document detailing the causes of deaths in Bearwood in 1998. The 1900's really were a different time!

We've received a report of a person seen today brazenly using the printer in Abbey Road Post Office to print out counterfeit currency. You Wouldn't Steal A Car You Wouldn't Steal A Handbag You Wouldn't Steal A Policeman's Helmet... Downloading and printing money in the post office is a crime!

Filming has started for a brand new TV soap opera set in the north (Cape) end of Bearwood. The soap will have The Windsor Complex as its social focal point We are able to exclusively share the intro credits!

We've now installed official Tourist Information points in the Craft Inn AND 1000 Trades On The Park so please do pop in, grab a drink, grab a guide and read all about: 🍺Bearwood Beer Mile (Updated!) ☠️Bearwood Catacombs (Intriguing!) 🗿Bearhenge (Magical!) 🏰Warley Castle (Turrety!)

If you are venturing out on foot today, we would recommend wearing your council supplied ice skates as the pavements are very slippy. Officers will be grading residents skating performances, and anyone seen skating in a 'controlled and graceful manner' may be recruited for our Winter Olympic team.

January is normally pretty hard on the hospitality industry, so why not make it your new year's resolution to try a new food place? Thankfully Bearwood has plenty of options in that regard, and we have crunched the numbers (reviews*) and present to you the top 40 restaurants in Bearwood!

A giant fertility statue has appeared in Warley Woods. The snow statue, which bears similarity to the Venus of Willendorf is thought to represent 'The Queen of Bearwood' who is a local deity. It is thought to have been built to celebrate female fertility and bring good luck.

A new 'memorial sculpture' has been installed in Warley Woods titled "CHEAP SLEDGES IN PILES". It is a thought-provoking piece on the inclination to chase instant gratification at the expense of long-lasting contentment.

The snow may be causing havoc, but doesn't it make the bridge over Thimblemill Brook look lovely!

Last night in Bearwood:

A suspected Snow Leopard footprint has been spotted in Lightwoods Park (snow for scale). With all the recent snow it is perhaps no surprise. We expect the arrival of the big cat to result in a welcome decline in the resident grey squirrel population.

Since 2024 it has been an offense for domestic properties to display Christmas decorations after the 6th of January. Council officers will be on patrol from today, issuing £50 fines to any households they feel are 'too Christmassy'.

A momentous day, as the live bus display at the bus stop outside Specsavers is now working again. The display, which last worked in 2022, had until now, been blank and emitted a loud noise every 6 minutes similar to a 1992 Amiga PC screaming in digital anguish, startling many a waiting passenger.

Some of our older residents have complained to us today about schools being shut due to the snow, and suggested that "kids today are too soft". Please rest assured that whenever the schools are shut due to snow, we send the children down our 'Educational Mine' to put in some 'hard graft'.

The following schools in Bearwood are closed today due to the snow: St. Bearu's Primary - engine stoker off with flu. Bearwood Naval Academy Barklay School for Hyperactive Cockerpoos Swordswood Fencing Academy. Frightwoods Goth School The following schools are open: Warley Woods Ski School

When an outer circle bus mysteriously disappears from the live timings board at the bus stop on Bearwood Road....

Yes, we ARE aware that a time portal has opened on Gladys Road. Several cats have already entered the portal and travelled 5 seconds into the future. This has resulted in two of the same cat occupying the same temporal space... a 'Time Puradox' if you will....

The piste is open! The overnight snow means conditions on the slope are currently good at Warley Woods ski resort. The ski lift is in operation and the pavilion cafe is now offering an après-ski service including vin chaud and cold Austrian lager. Their famous fondue is also back on the menu!

Filming has today begun in Bearwood for a new dystopian reboot of the Teletubbies. Rather than cuddly monkey-like creatures, the new Teletubbies will instead resemble analogue TVs perched on top of wheelie bins.

New Year, New Hobby? If you're looking for a new activity in 2026, the 'Warley Woods Pagan Magic Sax Cult' are apparently recruiting new members! The group, which isn't a cult, engage in 'outdoor ritualistic sax' every full moon at Bearhenge. Percussionists also needed.

Spoiler warning in case you haven't seen it yet, but the big reveal at the end of Stranger Things blew our minds...

Never fear, Dame Julie Salters is out in Bearwood, gritting roads to make them safe!

Two children were spotted playing inside the old Thimblemill Baths building this morning. Obviously accessing abandoned buildings is very dangerous, so if anyone knows who they are could you please let us know, so we can contact them to explain the dangers and warn them not to do it again.

There's a lovely view of the Northern Lights over Bearwood this evening. Either that or the flashing police car beacons have got brighter...