The coming of a tram station to Bearwood has been foretold in many ancient prophetic texts, such as the holy West Midlands Combined Authority Sustainable Transport Bid (2021 AD), which states "Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Hagley Road Metro Extension cometh"

To clear up some public confusion, we would like to confirm: 1) There is NO such political party as the Bearwood Party. 2) Michael Bearymore is NOT standing as a councillor in the upcoming Local Election.

We would like to take this moment to remind residents that under the Treasure Act 1996 (England, Wales, and Northern Ireland) any pots of gold found at the end of rainbows in Bearwood must be reported to Bearwood Council, who reserve the right to claim it as Council Property.

Our Overseas Ambassadors have been very busy spreading the word of Bearwood through the medium of Independent Bearwood stickers. To celebrate the global reach of our area we are dropping off a pile of free stickers to the Craft Inn today.

The beautiful Shakespeare Garden in Bearwood is comprised of plant specimens mentioned in the works of Shakespeare. In exciting news, from this weekend onwards the gardens will also be hosting real animals mentioned in Shakespeare.

Rest assured, Bearwood Council have a firm plan in place should nuclear war break out this evening....

An Independent Bearwood (or should that be, India-pendent Bearwood) sticker has been spotted on a lamppost in the Indian city of Kovalam in Kerala. Our overseas ambassadors are doing some sterling work promoting Bearwood around the world!

Remember: 🔥If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen*🌡️ *unless your thermostat is located in the kitchen, in which case, you will need to specifically go into the kitchen, in order to reduce heat to a comfortable level.

In order to circumvent the oil supply issues caused by the current blockage of the Strait of Hormuz, we have begun allowing oil tankers to instead transport their cargo along the Birmingham mainline canal in Smethwick.

Yesterday saw the first Lightwoods Park Artisan market of the year! It was lovely to see all the stall-holders and visitors in good spirits despite the fickle weather. We are happy to report that there were no mysterious happenings on this occasion.

Mr Meatfingers, The Grey Lady, Emily, The Grey Mare of Thimblemill, The Demonic Topiary Rabbit. These are all otherworldly entities said to haunt Bearwood. We've put together this new guide to help residents and visitors navigate the supernatural landscape of Bearwood.

It appears that there's been some sort of mix-up as Birmingham Council contractors have seemingly installed a Welsh bilingual road sign at the junction of Sandon Road and City Road.

Once a year, our specialised highway team go and check Bearwood Road to make sure it is still there. The assessment involves poking the road with a special stick. If the stick meets resistance, then it means there is nothing to worry about, and we can all go happily about our lives.

Happy World Bear Day! World Bear Day, which falls annually on 23rd March, is a day designed to celebrate bears. In Bearwood, residents traditionally observe this day by going to school, or work in a bear mask.

This is why you should never put all your faith in superheroes. Quinton Man, has really let himself down here.

Well, that's fortunate.

We are very proud to be supporting the bid for Bearwood* to be named as UK Town of Culture. There will be a programme of activities, including a kitty boxing tournament in Global Wines Car Park, a rave in the Bear Pharmacy and the closure of Bearwood Road to hold a giant community hokey-cokey^.

Happy Spring Equinox. A fertility dance is planned to take place this evening in front of the giant demonic topiary rabbit. The event will also feature symbolic courtship dances between a spring maiden and youth, and energetic movements to activate earth's abundance.

With the sad passing of action star Chuck Norris, the title of 'world's toughest toughnut' is passed on to Danny G from Smethwick.

'Richie B' has publically shared his intention to shoot singer Dean Foley at 1000 Trades in Bearwood on Saturday. We do not know the nature of the quarrel between these two men, but our theory is that Richie (understandably) has a deep-seated hatred of Swing music and all who perform it.

Guerrilla artist Foka Wolf finally unmasked. The notorious Birmingham-based guerrilla street artist, whose subversive artworks have appeared across the world, has sensationally been identified as social historian Professor Carl Chinn.

Here's one for all the Tegestologists (beer mat enthusiasts) out there! We now have beermats! One side features a bear waving a flag, the other features information (and how to donate to) this year's Bearwood Shuffle. Keep an eye out for them appearing in a pub near YOU!

Following the success of the gothic Netflix series 'Wednesday', there has been a trend of parents choosing this as a baby girl name. However it seems a miscommunication may have occurred locally, with quite a number of people instead accidently naming their child after the town in Sandwell:

The rumours swirling around for a while now have finally been proven true, as Wetherspoons have confirmed their plans to take over The King's Head in Bearwood. As part of the plan, they will increase the height of the building's corner tower and relocate the toilets right at the top.

You may have seen various political party leaflets come through your letterbox in the lead up to the local elections. Obviously as an apolitical body we can't tell you which way to vote. But here is one such political party leaflet for your consideration:

This event is a real coup for Bearwood! The hardest man in Smethwick vs the hardest man in Birmingham in a charity arm wrestling contest at The Abbey! Former Albion manager Gary Megson, has reportedly agreed to compere the event, and every attendee gets a free jug of gravy on entry!

🥲

When the electronic announcer on the x8 bus says "next stop, Bell End!" It's not clear whether they are simply announcing the name of the next stop, or rudely telling you to get off the bus at the next stop.

Birmingham Dispatch journalist goes on a Hunter S. Thompson style (presumedly LSD-induced) journey through Bearwood in search of snacks. The author describes how the carpet at the Midland tried to eat their legs, and how they saw lots of Parakeets descending on them while driving down Bapclay Road.

On Monday, our Ted Arrows 'Bearobatic' display team conducted a flyover to mark Bearwood Independance Day. The team were meant to create vapour trails in red, yellow and green to represent our flag, but the dyes accidently got mixed, resulting in unfortunate brown streaks being left across the sky.

Quite often we are lucky to discover some real antique packaging amongst our paper recycling. This piece will be added to our new '1980s Nostalgia cabin' at Shidas Lane Tip. It will look great alongside all our Jim'll Fix It annuals. It's open for visits each Thursday. Admission cost 1 jam jar.

Today saw the release of our first Beavers at Thimblemill Brook in Bearwood, as part of a new Beaver reintroduction programme. The reintroduction follows a recent public consultation, which saw a very positive response to the question "Would you like to see more beavers?"

One of the first signs of spring is the sleepy emergence of Mr Simon from his burrow, where he has been hibernating through the winter months. Soon his territorial song will be drifting through the park, hoping to keep other ice cream vans away.

West Midlands Constabulary earlier announced the creation of a new unit called The Polite Force which will focus on tackling 'general impoliteness'. The squad made their first arrest today when a bus passenger was detained for 'failing to adequately thank the bus driver' upon disembarking.

The mannequin display at 'Suits UK' shop in Bearwood has been nominated in the national Mannequin awards (Mankies) in the category of 'Best Accidental Album Cover'. The display features an inventive 'brass Peaky Blinders barefoot masquerade ball' theme.

The West Midlands Combined Authority has today announced the results of its public vote on a rebrand of the West Midlands County. The current name was felt to be lacking the same cultural heft as Greater London or Greater Manchester, and is often confused with the wider West Midlands region.

To celebrate Valentines day we look back on the most recent series of Emily in Paris, which saw Emily relocate to Bearwood (due to it being twinned with Le Blanc-Mesnil, Paris) to help grow the Agence Grateau Office. The series sees Emily pursuing romance with local Bearwood men.

We are looking to capitalise on Bearwoods nickname of the 'Tokyo of the Black Country' by implementing a 'scramble crossing' at the Bear junction, similar to that at Shibuya crossing in Toyko. The crossing would allow pedestrians to cross in whatever whimsical way they want.

Bearwood's East Bank has now reporedly fallen to Goosezilla. We will work to recapture the area by luring the creature back to Edgbaston Reservoir (gulf of Bearwood) with maple syrup pancakes.

Are you worried that your teenager may be texting about Bearwood? 👀 We've put this handy guide together to help you decipher what they are saying:

Jumping on the current social media trend we asked AI to create a caricature of what it thinks the leader of Bearwood Council looks like based on what it knows about us. Here's the result. 💯

The beautiful Global Wines Car Park is one of Bearwood's most famous public squares, and is a great place to sit and watch the hustle and bustle of this vibrant area. It is currently the 9th top thing to do in Smethwick according to TripAdvisor:

'Bearwind' is the official supplier of portable hand fans to Bearwood Council. They are the only fan that promises to "expel wind with the same force and consistency as a flatulent bear". Some people complain about the associated odour the fans emit, but in our view this adds to the experience.

The Bread Tree is considered to be protocarniverous as it has evolved large sticky pads that look like sliced bread, designed to attract small birds, such as Blue Tits. Once the bird lands on the pad, the 'bread' folds in half, trapping the bird in a 'sandwich' before digesting it.

In case you missed the news, today marks the first day of the phase 1 trial for the pedestrianisation of Bearwood Road. We've reduced the road to one carriageway between the Bear Tavern and Rutland Road, and installed ping pong tables. Already they are proving to be a big hit!

To celebrate West Bromwich being named the UK's 'Swinging Capital' NX West Midlands have announced a special 'Hop-on-Hop-Off' swingers fare for those travelling to West Brom on the no.48. You may still need to take your car keys though!

Today marks 15 years since Bearwood's greatest unsolved mystery: why did a trail of unopened bags of Cheese and Onion McCoys appear along Herbert Road? 🤔

HONOUR THE OLD GODS! Today at Thimblemill Library with performances of Wassail Songs and Mummers Plays. 2pm. Free. We assume/hope they will not be lighting fires inside the library. We don't want a Library of Alexandria Situation.

Great News! The Mr Models Window display has been granted a Grade II listing status! The listing is based on both the composition of the long-established display, which includes a limited edition action figure of Stuart Maconie in space attire, released by NME in 1998.

As yesterday was Blue Monday, we officially declare today 'Ruby Tuesday'. Go get a curry. You've earned it! Bearwood has you covered in this regard! 😋