BREAKING: Sherman of Love Handel has announced that he will not be performing at the America 250th Anniversary celebration as advertised. And no, it's not because he ain't got rhythm.

BREAKING: this musical blue's clue has announced that they will not be performing at the America 250th Anniversary celebration as advertised.

I desperately want a Disney Clue, but ONLY if one of the weapon cards explicitly says "Kusco's poison, the poison for Kusco, the poison specifically designed to kill Kusco, Kusco's poison...that poison!" All of that. Otherwise forget it.

Me as a kid, hearing Disney's Everybody Wants to Be a Cat: "This song is so catchy!" Me as an adult, rehearing it and watching beloved cat videos to avoid my life problems: "This song is so REAL."

How come WWE shop only decides to email me about insane merch deals when I'm at my absolute broke-est?? Like, yes, I'd love more wrestling shirts, can't get enough! Do I have the funds right now? No. Do I ever have said funds when things are normal price. Basically, yeah. 😞

QRP with the doctor you'd trust leading the hantavirus response instead of RFK Jr.

Did you hear about DC comic's newest character? He's Two-Face's estranged cousin Alfred, but he's not from Gotham, he's in Toronto. And he runs a famous pasta store. Oh, you haven't heard? He's Al Dent, eh! ...oh no did I just lose one of my 5 followers over my last 2 shit jokes?

A Frenchman once slipped and fell on his face, and to his dismay, his lifelong bully was watching, and he swore to build a monument to commemorate his embarrassment for the rest of time, as well as name it perfectly rudely. And that, my friends, is the secret origin story of the I Fell Tower.

Share a random movie GIF!

Being called "clunky" on Chopped is the equivalent of being called "pitchy" on American Idol, and I refuse to elaborate or take comments.

Coming home from a clothes store with pants that say "Relaxed Straight Fit." Now I'm wondering why I was allowed to buy such a thing, as I am the opposite of all three of those words...

I won't let my computer being in Best Buy Geek Squad, or as it is like in my history electric device ICU, keep me from bluesky shitposting! My anxiety and lack of inspiration still will, but I'm not gonna be beaten by anyone but my own brain dammit!

I heard there's a thing where people bring water bottles secretly filled with vodka to work, to get through the day, but if you're a non-drinker like me, you can try this hack instead: vodka bottles filled with water! We'll power through work with symbolism!

Not to disparage Bad Bunny's performing so far, because it is spectacular, but I'm hoping for one of two things to happen in it: 1. The song Booker T, with Booker T on stage 2. Miz and/or John Morrison interrupting and getting crossbodied and beat up by Bad Bunny

normal people for justification: hey, it ain't brain surgery me, an intellectual: hey, it ain't grape surgery everyone else in the comments: hey, it ain't grape surgery IYKYK

Don't know how many country music fans I attract, but if you're out there, this is for you 😆

I know I'm a shitposter, but I have nowhere else to vent about this game: SINCE FUCKING WHEN DOES TAUNTING OF ALL THINGS COST 15 GODDAMN YARDS?! HE HARDLY DID ANYTHING!!!

Bobby Flay: Alright, chef, what are we cooking tonight? Me: My signature dish is........STEAMED HAMS! Bobby: (literally steams some ham because he's old and out of touch) Me with my hamburgers on the grill: It's a regional dialect!

INXS: I...I was standing- Elton John on instinct: YEAH YEAH YEAH! Billy Idol on instinct: CUZ YOU MAKE ME FEEL- Aretha Franklin on instinct: LIKE A NATURAL WOMAN! INXS: how did you all get in here?

Repost if you do any of the following: 1. support trans rights 2. support trans lefts 3. support brown rice 4. support a train's lights 5. support absolutely anything as long as it's on an organized list like this 6. talk less, smile more, don't let them know what you're against or what you're for

"How will you enter 2026?"

Medieval jouster: I say thee NAY! Medieval jouster's horse: OMG dude samesies!

without downloading new pics, what is it like dating you?

That moment when Chuck Norris enters the Royal Rumble at 29, nearly clears the field, but number 30 ends up being Gandalf the Gray and Gandalf the White and The Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and The Bleu Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie and Robocop and Terminator and...

I could've sworn the NFL announcers called a player Ricky Queersoul... Maybe I need my ears irrigated.

IYKYK

Normal Halloween watchlist: Friday the 13th Nightmare on Elm Street It Child's Play My Halloween watchlist: David Pumpkins The Hash Slinging Slasher "What Is a Skeleton's Favorite Snack?" David Pumpkins Returns

Alternate universe where everything's the same except dogs have owl-like necks that let them do that head tilt thing completely 180 degrees until their heads are upside down.

Don't ask me where I got this inspiration from. Also, don't ask me why it's an image and not just a typed post.

I'm such a raving pro wrestling fan, one time, days before an NFL playoff game, I almost said out loud to someone "wonder if I could look up leaked spoilers for who wins." I'm so used to scripted sports results, I legit forget it's just my sport. 😅

If I had unlimited money, no question one of my priorities would be paying Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth to recreate the iconic video Hot Koolaid as Loki and Thor. I think we need that kind of silliness now especially.

If you don't know the musical that this is based on, you'd better start broadening (no pun intended) your horizons!

One of the people I have the most respect for is the voice of Dr. Doofenschmirtz from Phineas and Ferb. He'll crack out that voice for pretty much any occasion, despite what must be several detriments to his wind pipe. I fucking love that man (the actor and the character)!

Easter is the world's most overrated holiday and I will die on that hill... ... WAIT NO POOR CHOISE OF WORDS I CHANGE MY MIND GET BACK-

Why is it called alphabet soup and not languine?

I just randomly came up with the phrase "Kentucky Fried Derby" and I can't decide if that means chicken racing or crispy horse meat...

Can Doomsday from DC Comics count as my spirit animal? Also, can we please do something about the state of the world so that Doomsday isn't so relatable?

What are you wearing to bsky prom?

How's everyone else out there? Me, I went from relaxed and normal to fuming with immense rage by the simple act of trying to rewatch some Chopped on Max. IYKYK 🤬

People who make the joke "I don't age like wine, I age like milk" need to realize that aged cheeses are made of milk, so regardless of how you look at what age, you can still be amazing if you package it right ☺️

I know people hate Iron Man 3 plot-wise, but can we all agree that the worst part isn't the plot, but when Killian uses the phrase "turtle suit" instead of turtle shell? I'm one of very few Iron Man 3 fans, and I still have to leave the room for that BS!

Useless advice for women: if a sleezy jackass guy hassles you and asks you if your breasts are "real," instead of getting mad or offended, just sincerely try to convince him that "no, they're not real...they're cake."

Adam and Eve, trying to decide what to get for dinner, Adam blurts out "Oh, I haven't had a good rib in forever!" Just a little mid-day blasphemy from your most forgettable shitposter.

You know what's my personal guarantee for getting a solid extra hour of sleep? Looking at the clock between 8 and 9 or so and saying "I should probably get up right about now..."

As an aromantic asexual, I don't need orgasms, I've already gotten the thrill of getting all 10 minikits, the red brick and true jedi in my first attempt in Lego Star Wars the Complete Saga Episode 3 Level 1 Battle Over Coruscant.

Oooooooo, I finally made one (1) shitpost! Am I internet famous yet? 😆

I'm here on Blue Sky to make ass jokes and chew the inside of my lip on accident...and I'm all out of surface area on the inside of my lip.