I have successfully proven that I am not an AI to my children, by telling them how to make napalm.

My son tells me that Alexander Lemming no longer "plummets" in the Beano... Is this because of woke? BRB signing up to join Reform

o no

TFW you get a paper accepted for publication... but only by removing all the Superman references

Are we absolutely sure that none of these have been time-travellers?

Today's #AINewsSlop actually feels like a pretty accurate summary of the world today...

It might be "AI slop" but I'm quite pleased with my latest side-project (yes it needs a new mount cutting) which illustrates the day's #BBCNews headlines - so far making for great breakfast-table chat with the kids.

After my accident at the Euros last year, FSA Vision have very kindly replaced my cracked aero bars with these shiny TFE EVO ones! Votes on the bar tape colour? a) black (like everything else) b) rainbow

This probably shouldn't be surprising, but I finally gave in and installed Linux (Mint) on my laptop (8 years old) and it suddenly no longer sounds like a hoover when I have a couple of tabs open!

Happy Easter everyone! Please help solve a family debate - where is this egg-cup from? #Easter #SwearyEggCups

Something ironic in the fact that in the EU, we were the rule-makers on this... www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

TFW a beachside conversation over a bucket of lugworms gives you an insight that doubles the efficiency of your AI system... I understand the purpose of holidays now! (Yes I did go back and code it immediately)

It's more concerning that this level of bodily modification doesn't prompt a disqualification...

My insistence on referring to servers by names rather than their official number-letter sequence has somehow set off a chain of events, leading to an Exec email asking that everyone avoids confusion by doing the same. The names are "Amy", "Dave", "Sophie", and "Helen"

I told you my Monte-Carlo Markov Chain anecdote but you did not laugh Please respond

WHICH IDIOT MAKES A NUMERICAL CODING SYSTEM WHERE 041 and 41 ARE BOTH VALID AND MEAN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT THINGS?? The NHS, that's who... From the team that brought you "if you don't hear anything, your results are fine" Specialists in making common failure modes look like valid processes!

I was a bit concerned the Project Hail Mary film wouldn't live up to one of the few books I've ever read twice... It does. Amaze amaze amaze!

The colour of the replacement ICU doors is slightly different to the old ones and WHY DID THEY NOT ANTICIPATE THE EFFECT THIS WOULD HAVE ON ME?

With the wind today, I'm reminded of the time we were on holiday and the AI on our security system informed me that there had been a car accident on the driveway. How I laughed, until I came home to find a roof tile through the bonnet of the car...

Marvel Comics has clearly been publishing a lot of great literature in the last year... #WorldBookDay

Are there bags which are not, in some way, "carrier"?

We're a long way from Google's old philosophy of "Don't Be Evil". One of Android's great features is its openness; if I don't want to do something one way I can always download another. This is now unfortunately under threat... f-droid.org/2026/02/24/o...

Coding at 200W (plus the computer!) #UKCycleChat

TFW you update some libraries and the #AI you've been working on for several years decides to ignore the data you've asked it to process and have a bit of a psychotic break. (all fixed now!)

An organisation wants my CV in a specific format. "I know; #AI will help me here!" Going about as well as you might expect... (As an aside, I did enjoy copilot's optimistic use of "FINAL" in the filename)

As a keen cyclist, this one *hurt*

Last time I watched rugby here it was as a Leeds supporter. First time for #BradfordBulls in the #SuperLeague since we moved here... Go Bradford!

I have one child distraught because he accidentally saw an opening bracket without a closing one (and now will feel the unresolved tension all day), and another gleefully messaging him mismatched brackets...

Visiting some old houses on holiday with the kids. I feel like there's a whole ecosystem niche available for "daytime ghosts" "Our ghost comes out on nice days in bright sunshine, and crochets rainbow scarves for abandoned kittens"

Happiness is buying new running shoes... and then getting them utterly filthy. #UKRunChat

Today, we have mostly been working out what exotic forms of matter the water would take if "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea" referred to depth rather than horizontal distance...

Introduced the kids to "that's what she said" and I may live to regret this...

Nobody can solve this mystery. Nazi a single one. #Xitter www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

I do wonder where the "colonised by immigrants" idiots think the "native" Anglo-Saxon population came from?

After much criticism of my lunch the other week I have removed the "ultra processed" foods, and now am the very picture of health (albeit with slightly creaky knees).

Out of interest, does anyone know if there's still a hosepipe ban? #RainRainGoAway

Walking in to find an awake patient labelled on the board as "LEVEL 4" in red tells a certain night-shift story... #ICU

I've asked for it to be made clear that it's the *padlocks* that will be cut off, and that nobody is threatening bodily injury.

Today we are Crafting #Basset

I won't do them the favour of linking, but I did particularly enjoy this brilliant bit of statistical analysis from the Daily Fail on the topic that's got the right wing lately worked up about #Bradford...

I feel it should be a bit like the football, with a points deduction rather than the inevitable "ok, but please don't do that again" One vote removed per naughty letter? manchestermill.co.uk/exclusive-re...

Shopping arrived so I hurried to get the meat away before the cat got to it. Came back to find the dim animal chewing on a spring onion...

Well, that didn't take long - Moltbook, the energy-burning LLM ouroboros, has already had an impressive data leak. Almost like uncritically vibe-coding everything isn't quite there yet... #Moltbook #AI www.wiz.io/blog/exposed...

Office heating is broken so have resorted to factorising large semiprimes on the computer to generate a little warmth.

I can think of few better expressions of the Current State Of Things than AI bots, trained heavily on Reddit, burning rainforests as they fling tokens at each other in a giant simulation of Reddit eating itself... www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

Never mind jobs you had, tell me five classes you took at university 1. Rowing (indoors) 2. Rowing (outdoors) 3. Weight training 4. Meetings to explain why I felt excessive rowing wasn't impacting on my academic performance 5. Metaphysics

Finally managed to get one of the kids to be Dungeon Master. My character is a know-it-all wizard who convinces people he can do anything and has amazing skills and plans, and particularly fire magic - but in reality he's just an enchanter who's good at hypnotising and deceiving people... #DnD

So the kids have "discovered" Team Fortress 2 and here I am trying to convince them that I was... once... good enough at it to be on a team! Somewhat nostalgic watching the dates as they complete the achievements nearly two decades later...

I think at this point we have to accept that we may never uncover the identity of this mysterious "The Duke"... #EpsteinFiles

Running into work, I'm so glad that the shop near the hospital sells everything I need for lunch... (Why yes, I *am* in my 40s. How could you tell?)