For that price you think they'd throw in free postage.

My favourite take on the forthcoming "Animal Farm" animation. There's going to be a farming montage to a Pharrell Williams soundtrack, isn't there?

Soul albums I'd never heard previously but turned out to be very good #22

Here's where we are in Britain today.

Dick Van Dyke is 100 years old tomorrow. I hope he's making the most of his finally night of Lego building.

Over 30 years ago U2 toured with world with a video backdrop of a Christian cross turning into a swastika. No-one complained.

F1: A sport owned by one person, events in places with dodgy human rights, literally destroying the planet as it happens, sponsored by companies who sell products which kill you, a celebration of the super-rich, cars as penis extensions. That about covers it, yeah?

Current vibes. The Beano Album, 1976.

Soul albums I'd never heard previously but turned out to be very good #21

One night in Mankato, Minnesota during 1993 I managed to get drinks bought for me all night long by pretending to be the guitarist from Jesus Jones. Did a college radio interview in the morning.

No-one captured Englishness better. RIP.

Once you've heard Cher's 1965 version of "I Go To Sleep" then you can never look at Chrissie Hynd's style and voice in the same way again.

Makes me proud to live in Falkirk...

I was released the same week as the albums "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and "Moondance". Not too bad.

If ever there was a time to boycott a world cup, this is it...

Soul albums I'd never heard previously but turned out to be very good #20

World Cup Draw vibes...

Spotify wrap genres and listening age. Apparently you're not allowed to listen to anything from before you were born.

31 of my musical opinions for you to disagree with (a thread): 1. Keith Moon was a shit drummer. 2. Ringo had the second best post-Beatles recorded output. 3. David Bowie never meant a word he sang. 4. Led Zeppelin were better when they put down the electric guitars. 1/10

Lidl knocking it out the park this morning with the shopping soundtrack: "Just What I Needed" by The Cars, "The One I Love" by REM, "Roam" by the B52's

Let me guess... was it because he offered them an all expenses paid holiday on a Caribbean Island? Which, of course, all of us would have refused?

Research reading #26. Hated James Brown.

In 2002 the Guinness Book of Records held a poll of the greatest ever singles. All polls are like this. I'm going to be a musical snob, but are these cliches actually people's favourite songs?

It's the 12th anniversary of the time one of the sixth years asked me how to spell "BBC". Halway through they put their head up and asked "B - B - what?"

Michelle Obama's prom photo looks like the cover of an album by a 1970's gospel soul duo, whilst Barack's looks like a good time.

So... once again I've managed to find myself writing 4 books at once. Like an idiot.

Research reading #25. Hated James Brown before he even met him.

There's an essay to be written about tapping your foot to music: toes vs heels. Toes are passive, heels force you to move your buttock as well, which is a gateway to dancing.* *Only counts when standing up.

Today, I'll be mostly watching replays of goals.

See that "We'll Be Coming" song at the Scotland game? That was written by my old bass player, Kenny McColl from Stenhousemuir.

With Christmas coming up, a self-promoting reminder that your centrist uncle would love one of these books as a present. Available from the evil empire that is Amazon.

Soul albums I'd never heard previously but turned out to be very good #19

Research reading #24

I've been a Scottish Secondary school teacher for over 26 years. In that time I've come to the conclusion that only 3 things taught will be useful for everyone later in life... 1/4

Research reading #23. Apparently, he feels like a "sex machine".

I would need to work for over 16 million years just to earn the same as Elon Musk's pay rise. That's roughly how long dogs and horses have been on earth. It's longer than the Himalayas, Andes, and Alps have existed. He must be a very very special and talented man.

30 years ago I dated a girl who had worked beside Kaye Adams as a waitress at the Oxgang Hotel in Grangemouth in the 1980's. Apparently she was a bully even then.

My mother was a legal secretary. One day in the early 80's three youths came in to the office to speak to her lawyer boss. They had a record contract in their hand and wanted some legal advice. He explained he wasn't a showbiz lawyer, but would have a look anyway. It all seemed fairly standard. 1/3

Note to self. Business idea: Porn channel with just slow motion footage of flags fluttering in the wind and poppies dropping from the ceiling POV. Action point: How much would it cost to licence the theme from "The Dambusters"?

Research reading #22. He feels good. But, then again, he knew that he would.

Soul albums I'd never heard previously but turned out to be very good #18

I often think of the guy in his nineties in Germany called Adolf Hitler, who when asked in the 1970's why he hadn't changed his name after the war replied 'I'm not going to let one bad apple spoil the good name of Adolf Hitler"

Imagine if I went back to my teenage music-purchasing habits. Only one album every couple of weeks, probably only heard one song from the album beforehand, and then I immersed myself in it for two weeks solid. Would I appreciate music on a deeper level?

I know it's been said before, but Picasso was alive at the same time as Charles Darwin AND Peter André.

Buy one of my books. I have Christmas to pay for.

Research reading #21

Cooking a pre-bought "Pulled Chicken in Chorizo Sauce". Last instruction: "Use two forks to pull apart chicken" By that definition, ALL chicken is pulled.

My uncle was a cop. He once was tasked with picking up (Prince) Andrew at Edinburgh Airport and running him to St Andrews. The prick told him to put his foot down and break the speed limit because "I'm above the law"

Research reading #20

Soul albums I'd never heard previously but turned out to be very good #17