Just got tickets for QOTSA at Joshua Tree so there's that.

The Kool-Aid man busting through the wall but he's a coffee pot.

Hahahahahahahaha

My girl loves being the little spoon because she says she gets heat on her back and meat in her crack.

Therapy tattoo

"Is the specimen ready for cleaning?"

I think the most calming scene in cinema is when the old man restores Woody in Toy Story 2. I go into a trance every time I watch it.

I would like to thank everyone for their concern and getting this out there. Unfortunately the worst possible outcome happened. Thanks again for all your support.

Not sure if anyone that follows lives in my area but my Mother in-law is missing since Sunday. Left from San Diego to Yuma and never made it. Last cell ping was Jacumba right before a pretty nasty grade. Anything helps at this point.

I'm trying to be a better person, which in the movies, means I'm going to die soon.

Are you there planet killing asteroid? It's me, Guy.

Verizon's tagline should still be "Can you hear me now?" But for different reasons.

Thinking about that band named Extreme and how they weren't.

Sorry, can't do it. The cat is sleeping on my lap.

Five days into 2026 and I'm still writing "we live in hell" on all my checks.

JFC

Happy Fuckin New Year

Freddie Got Fingered for Five Nights at Freddy's

I would wear a T-shirt and shorts to my wedding if I could.

Found out I'm going to a party Wednesday night and I have to wear a button-up shirt and I'm having feelings.

Darth Vaper

Drunk, I am.

Watching Santa hit dudes with a hammer while sipping Courvoisier. As is the way of my people.

We'll always have 2008 through 2016.

I've been moving all month so obviously I'm drinking right now.

Those Nerds gummi things are like heroin.

Dust Bunny is very good. FYI.

It's not Christmas until I put on my ToyotaThong.

Anyone else go to the server room to fart at work.

If you have an opportunity to see Kill Bill The Whole Bloody Affair in the theater...

HBOFlix

This was my sandwich today.

Big moon with a jet stream in front.

Spirit XMAS

Complete the 7 Stevie Wonders and become the new Supremes.

Result of tattoo day.

Tattoo day! Again.

Lot water fall from sky

It's always about the emails.

This is why I do everything I can to ignore the news.

My kids are 23, 16 and 13 and we still have baby wipes in the house. Once you start you never stop.

Watching Bob OdenWick 2

Lemon drop martini Cutwater

Fuck yeah beaver Moon

Bye

I am drunk already

Dia De Los Def Tones mother fuckers.

Deftones is one of the only bands where I will catch myself saying "I hope they play some of their new stuff."