Why does the smoke alarm low battery chirp only ever start chirping at 3:54am?

Jesus Christ… also soft on crime… for real.

Rory McIlroy… soft on crime.

Santa Claus… also soft on crime.

I kind of want the yellow EGG SALAD hat

“Give me back my son!”

Bobson Dugnutt and Steve McDichael

More like dechambNOOOOOO!

Does anyone else sing Jimmy Eat World’s “Futures” when placing sports wagers? Just me? Coo coo coo coo cooo

Shane Lowry looks like JJ Frankie JJ.

Is Jason Day wearing bell-bottom slacks?

Here’s a big secret of mine: I like fantasy baseball better than fantasy football. Unpopular opinion I know. It’s just more entertaining to me.

So no one told you life was going to be this way.

Project Hail Mary was totally worth it.

I really needed one more season of Amazon’s The Patriot. So many unanswered questions. Absolute 10/10 show.

Hey, I’m looking to grow my network on Bluesky. Really trying to get rid of the other app. Re-post or comment with your favorite follows on here and I will check them out. Follow me if you’re into #fantasyfootball, dumb jokes, waves that are blue, ska/punk music, and Minnesota sports.

I wonder if the woman who was bit by Puka Nacua also bought his car, and there was a pencil in the glove box with Jon Voight’s teeth marks…

We did a Power Trip dream fast food meal night for the family tonight. I’m on my way to Jersey Mikes, Culver’s, Chipotle, McDonalds and DQ. cc: @chrishawkey.bsky.social

There’s going to be hundreds of home league draft horror stories in which someone will select Brian Robinson, ATL RB instead of Bijan Robinson, ATL RB… And I’m totally here for it.

My wife: Remember my old co-worker Tiffany? Me: Did we have breakfast at her house one time? Wife: Huh? Me: what about…

My favorite Chuck Norris joke is: Chuck Norris once ate four 72oz T-Bone steaks in an hour, and spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress. RIP Chuck Norris

Why is it that I love every song on a casino playlist? Even if I’ve never heard them. It’s like they’re in my brain.

Isn’t it always best to select the four 1 seeds for the final four? It seems like you’re a lock for 2 of 4 every year.

This would be a massive mistake by the Vikings. Injury prone Losing career record Made playoffs once in 7 years An aging scrambler… Roll with JJ

Gotta love the 19,000 people who showed up for the AA Minnesota State Championship today. Heck of a comeback and win by the Moorhead Spuds. #StateofHockey

If you’re hosting or attending a Super Bowl party on Sunday this prop bet game needs to be a part of it!! @explosiveoutput.bsky.social has been putting this together for 16 years, it will be the center piece of your night! www.etsy.com/listing/4449...

Who says no? Bengals receive: 5 first round picks, JJ McCarthy and Jordan Addison Vikings receive: Joe Burrow and JaMarr Chase.

What’s in the water in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia?

On December 31, 1995, Bill Watterson published the final 'Calvin & Hobbes' comic strip. #CalvinandHobbes

I joined @explosiveoutput.bsky.social and Trevor Jones for second straight week on #FFAD Friday to get you ready for your Fantasy Playoff Matchups!

If you are missing the old school FFW podcast, the guys at FFAD provide some great fantasy breakdowns while also educating us on metallurgy. Also available whenever you listen to podcasts. @explosiveoutput.bsky.social @nocomaggio.bsky.social youtu.be/Sd1XT39n9EI?... #FFAD #FFW

Joined @explosiveoutput.bsky.social and Trevor Jones for the Fantasy Football Almost Daily Friday edition going over what's left of the Week 14 slate! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/f... If you want to see my pretty face, watch here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd1X...

As the new unofficial Bluesky chief marketer of the Fantasy Football Almost Daily podcast watch or listen on your favorite podcast app. Love they have the Thurs & Fri matchups already. #FFAD youtu.be/NIJqr_82i7g?... @explosiveoutput.bsky.social @coolerheads29.bsky.social

86% of the phone calls I get now are from Sirius XM trying to get me to renew my subscription.

McCarthy + O’Neill + Darrisaw all together seems to work pretty well.

I’ve watched an inning and a half of this baseball game and I’ve seen -A three run homer against Ohtani -Two diving catches -The benches clear It’s uh, pretty, pretty good.

Do kids not trick or treat anymore? Six kids total this year! 19 houses in my neighborhood had their lights on, 7 didn’t.

My backyard may be at peak fall colors.

Just hanging with my 13 year old and watching @explosiveoutput.bsky.social and @scottfish.bsky.social talking waiver wire on #ffad.

I joined @explosiveoutput.bsky.social for an episode of #FFAD this week! www.youtube.com/watch?v=updc...

Isaiah Rodgers, best defensive game ever by a Viking?

Wentz doesn’t stay calm in the pocket long enough.

My favorite NFL team wins over/under bets (with adjusted lines from DK): Cardinals UNDER 6.5 +300 Falcons OVER 8.5 +125 Bears UNDER 7.5 +145 Cowboys UNDER 7.5 +135 Raiders OVER 7.5 +140 Rams OVER 11.5 +225 Dolphins UNDER 4.5 +500 Vikings OVER 10.5 +170 Jets OVER 8.5 +330 Eagles OVER 12.5 +200

At a roundabout, just watched this happen at 5mph.

Goddamn they really want me to order a Shaq-a-Roni.

I took two muscle relaxers for my back and now I’m too relaxed.

Not many people know this, but Colin McCockney is actually Irish!

I think this was my first fantasy football team. Dan Marino Jeff George Terry Allen Thurman Thomas Lewis Tillman Jerry Rice Cris Carter Ben Coates Sterling Sharpe Fuad Reveiz

Is Ant already the greatest Timberwolf of all time? Or was that actually a Naz Reid stat?

I kind of want it to be an all Canadian Stanley Cup Final.