The gym is my new alcohol and I’m getting PISSED.

One week sober from dumb bitch juice.

*shares meme* I should be a comedian.

Pretty hyped to have joined a gym today.

I saw a photo of Donald on the news with the headline "he lived boldly" and I got mad butterflies cause for a split second I thought he died.

Gonna film myself trying MrBeast Burger for the first time but instead of me eating MrBeast Burger it's just me being beheaded on Instagram live.

noot noot

Grateful that after a shitty day my sweet bestie says shit like this about my dinner pics. I love you, Joe.

Common Trux

Damn I wanna open for Ethel Cain so bad.

Yoh this album is beeeeeeeyuut. First listen 👂🏼

My new single “Drown” is out now via Bandcamp and streaming x

New single out Thursday. Digital pre-order up now. royirwin.bandcamp.com/album/drown

“what is the crime?!” I scream as the police drag me away from the polling booth “…enjoying a succulent free Māori hangi?!”

whah whaaaaaaaaaa. got backline? need sound for a show? (pa and mixing) deliveries? menial admin? boy have I got some time on my hands....

Guy eating a rotisserie chicken on the bus.

🖕 👨 🐛 💤👔🐛 ⛽️ 👢 ⚡️ 8=👊=D💦 🎸 🌂 👢 👢

Wearing a cock ring is like putting your dick up in a ponytail

We are the first peoples of Aotearoa, who extended our manaakitanga to non-Māori. Agreeing to share our country. This Government has no intention of honouring Te Tiriti, instead choosing to entrench systemic racism. Shame. I am appalled and heartsore. www.rnz.co.nz/news/politic...

Ronald McDonald removing 4 of his McRib's so he can suck his own dick.

Bye hog man

Funny question working in a clothing store is "is this for men or women?". Look. If it fits, looks good and feels good? Wear it.

First show 100% success

Playing with a band for the first time in almost 10 years. Discounted tickets still available via @undertheradarnz.bsky.social

Practising asking for the right gauge of guitar strings in mirror so the Rock Shop guys don’t shoot me in the head.

Addison Rae is a genius.

Golden Axe!!!

Let’s party rock.

I’m ready to party rock at Golden Axe tonight. Elder millennials rejoice!!!!

Demon’s Cave has surpassed 9 million streams and I’m still a poor harder.

Sunday innit

What’s your display name on discord?

At work I’m like “can’t wait to be home” and now I’m home stoned and just saw a reel of a dude eating a hissing cockroach.

They're playing the Pam & Tommy tapes at the Lorde album listening party. Love is REAL.

How I felt playing with P.H.F.

Meet my child, Power Nap.

The tamarillo in my porridge tastes like the garlic I minced last night.

When I was small child my Mum would say to me “arms up strong like King Kong”. I think about those words a lot and apply them to adult problems. Crippling debt? “Arms up strong like King Kong” Punched a cop? “Arms up strong like King Kong”

Bedroom has been empty for the repairs for months now. Just an empty white room with janky floorboards and white plastic bags filled with clothing. Invite people over for drinks like “this is the murder room” 😳

Anyone else going to the Lemonheads on Wednesday?

Imagine cranking hog with these.

I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this garbage?’ And the answer is always Nick Cave.

I made Yakisoba.

Cops came into work to check if everything is "all good" and I'm standing here with glassy eyes wearing a t-shirt with a burning cop car that reads "take your tensions out on the real enemy"

Sometime mother let me outside and give me sun lolly.