THIS IS IT IT'S THE RAPTURE OH GOD wait, nope, just had to fart False alarm everybody

Can't, driving all over town dumping rainbow colored clothing so Rapture-Christians think only LGBT2S people made the cut

Pretty sure the only reason ABC reinstated Kimmel is that all the Disney cancelations and diving stock value locked up Bob Igers asshole more securely than Fort Knox and he really needs to shit again

I must have missed the scene in Andor where the Rebellion cancels Mon Mothma for her speech in the senate

Ya think Walt Disney would kick Bob Igers ass right about now?

🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

The last true test of the American experiment will be whether the US military intervenes when the fascists finally make their play for complete control.

Next time someone on the right claims all the political violence in this country is coming from the left, not the right, do please show them this. You're welcome

I really miss the days when actual grown ups were in charge of the United States

One side posted that they don't like white supremacists or Christian nationalists. The other side is threatening to kill people because they said they don't like white supremacists and Christian nationalists. Stop pretending domestic terrorists and the people they terrorize are the same.

It's absolutely fucking disgraceful that Parliament even mentioned Charlie Kirk.

Charlie Kirk was little more than a petty shit disturber selling shitty disturbed pettiness to disturbed petty shits (And no, i will not try saying that 10 times fast *sticks tongue out*)

Just fighting fire with fire in the War on Terrible

Dropped some bangers and everyone's acting like someone died or something

Of course the Right is going to canonize him, his face alone has saved more women from achieving orgasm than abstinence

As we gather round to honor the life and legacy of our fallen brother Charlie Kirk, let us remember him for his most notable achievement and lifelong accomplishment - being the living embodiment of a GIGANTIC BAG OF SHIT.

If the shooter had killed a leftist podcaster, he would have a multi million dollar Go Fund Me to cover his legal fees tomorrow, and an interview lined up with Charlie Kirk.

Remembering 9/11 today. Please be safe out there.

At this point, I (almost) fully expect to learn that the shooter was a right-wing extremist. Almost.

He did say a few deaths from guns was worth it. People who think like this never believe it will be their own.

All I'm saying is there's a damn good reason why the Fire Department hasn't spent the last few decades advocating for everyone and anyone to play with fire

I'll give this much to Donald Trump, he's giving us the one thing we all want with all our hearts, and that's to watch him fail.

I strongly resent the subtly negative tone you used when calling me a degenerate

No one deserves to be demeaned or diminished for their ancestry. And I do mean *all* ancestries. I won't be a willing party to bigotry, regardless of where it originates, or the circumstances surrounding it. It is never justified. And it will never be ok. Not to me.

The New York Times can eat one for making mini crossword a subscriber only game, but I do really like Connections. My only beef with it is sometimes the groupings are weird, like 4 US states that have no baseball team, or 4 unexpected things I once woke up with in my ass or whatever

Just so there is no confusion, I'm firmly on Team NOT-FASCISM, and if you're also aligned with the general idea of Team NOT-FASCISM, then you're definitely my people, even if I politely disagree with you about methods or policies or whatever.

Would like to wish the residents of blue states a happy future joining Canada Day if you observe

Omg these bidet instructions are almost pornographic

We need to create a Doomsday Clock but for how close Trump is to kicking the bucket Maybe use a golf clubs for the hands But the name has to be cheerful like the 'Dreamsday Clock' And when it reaches midnight a giant orange ball descends like in Times Square, and drops right to the gates of hell

Anyone that knows me, knows I can be hard-left progressive on some social issues. So to those who sat out the last US election, just think about all the time you're going to save criticizing not-ideal Dem candidates when there just aren't anymore elections to worry about! Winning!

Just want to be straight with everyone - I'm not into Onlyfans content, and I already donate heavily to the causes I support. Won't lie, I'm tapped. PS - porn holds no interest for me, not because of some weird puritanical religious reason either, but because it just doesn't do anything for me.

For the record, I still don't like Newsom very much, but his comms team is lights out great imo.

She's going to record an entire album about changing dirty diapers that's 100 percent screaming and angry crying isn't she

I sense a trap

Dammit, I think I crashed Skytwitter again with my delusions of sexiness

At this point I'd vote for the sandwich tossing guy for President to get rid of Trump

Can't, trying to convince Trumpers that deep state agents with a pathological hatred of human knees are mind controlling sentient coffee tables

Roses are red Violets are blue EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN

The Rapture, but instead of the faithful being carried aloft to Heaven forever and ever, it's just God flinging shitty delusional people into outer space

Somehow this all gives Stephen Miller a all day erection, and that cannot be allowed to stand.

Every... single... freaking... time... I wind up... a power tool cord... I crank myself in the nuts with the cord end. WHYYYYYYyyyyyy...

Apologies for late late late followbacks, still fighting a weeeeeeird sinus infection.

I know I'm not for everyone, but fwiw I'm not in the Epstein Files

Can't, composing a heartwrenching ballad about the microplastics in my ballsack

Just when you think it's snot, it's not.

Can't, I'm convincing tinfoil hat RWers that polluted air is caused by all the clean air being pumped into bubble wrap

Honestly feel like I deserve several thank yous for restraining myself from posting "Well guys I guess more like we Lack Sabbath now am I right" the day Ozzy passed

I would definitely buy the Kamala Sutra, that's alllllll I'm sayin

Do you suppose when sophisticated people get crabs they call them crotch lobsters instead