I live with the best lil family a guy could ever ask for and I can't wait to see how much better it gets from here 🥰

Spoiled af and emo as all hell about it 🤣😩 Like zombie Jesus fuck, it's this how good the rest of the "normie" world has it when you're not traumatized around holiday events?! I just...I will never except less than this ever again 🤣🤣🤣

One of the best parts about getting everything you wanted, is knowing how ILL it makes some ppl to watch you get shown up and shown out for 🤣🫶

🥰

Just love my little family and our life in general, despite all setbacks we find ways to make everything fun 💚🫶

Going walls melting tripping to your first sushi bar is a choice I don't regret in the slightest 🤣🤣🤣

Also the current spectrum of men I'm attracted to is literally Heated Rivalry on one side, and Nick Darnell as The Grinch on the other, and idk what that says about me but I'm here for it 🤭

Combined with the breakdown of how Shane and Illya's story is so enviable bc of what they're allowed to feel and the love they're allowed to inhabit bc of the intimacy free of patriarchal voyeurism and I'm just like FUUUCK... THIS FANDOM IS YET ANOTHER GAY PRISON I'M STUCK IN FOR LIFE😩

Just read a comment under a Heated Rivalry post "They don't have a communication issue bc of the English- Russian language barrier, but bc of the loved kid - abused kid one, bc abused kids speak a language you can't learn unless you're one of them".....I AM SO FUCKING UNWELL 😭😭😭

t.A.T.u. being the song linked to the Heated Rivalry Fandom (which is STILL a prison... even if I'm in it for life🤣) is actually so important to teenage me 😅

I can't abandon myself by giving them another opportunity to disappoint me, but gods below what I wouldn't give to hear their voice one more time.

You can legit put any recipe in front of me and I'll not only be able to pull it off well, I'll find a way to improve it every time 😈 Cocky af about my kitchen magic skills cuz I know it's really THAT good 🤣 ESPECIALLY for a palm color bitch like myself, that means something dammit 😜

Also you know your food is next level when you can't ever make big dishes without everyone in the Haus crawling out of the woodwork to take taste tests, or rly just bothering you if you're in the kitchen at all, always asking what you making like some Oliver Twist orphans 🤣

Miss the absofuckinglute hell out of the only ppl I could talk to about sum shit like 😩😭

Best part about being around ppl who deserve you, is making each other gifts and getting so hyped for making each other happy and it feels so easy and natural 🥰🫶 I missed out on this so hard last year, I'm being extra careful to soak it all up this one

Reeeeeally tired of living through major environmental events everywhere I go live at though I tell you H'WHAT 😭

Made a nice Zuppa Toscana while it rains into floodwaters here... and started a slow cooker overnight chili for tmrw, fixing anxiety one soup at a time 😅

It it's providence... this is truly exactly where I need to be and can very well be my sanctuary, surrounded by the very ppl I'msupposed to be with. Thank fuck. So grateful.

Starting to feel like I can't post or interact anywhere in my old life's world anymore, bc I can tell how heavy I'm being perceived on a weird level with all these weird little things happening and lining up... can't tell if it's providence or tragedy yet, despite all hope for the better

When I tell you I weirdly love it here more and more every goddamn day 🥰🫶

Funniest fucking thing we saw last night was this yacht glittery level hummer limo with a small driver guy who honestly looked like a stereotypical movie representation of a "obvious devil in disguise" character ..... parked outside the most heavily policed local Walmart 🤣🤣🤣

Not to mention my intuition warned me (with no prior knowledge whatsoever) of the exact day my wildly awful ex got released onto probation early from a 10 year sentence and....WOOO I'm so fucking happy I moved when I did 😅

Tbh there are parts of me missing and yearning for things I can't stop thinking about even though I know there's not a damn thing to be done of it 😩

Ended up nearly cutting my finger off, and things are not going well economically for the Haus, but despite every stupid thing we manage to persevere and still find our own small joys along the way

My oldest said "You know I can't see you suffer and do nothing" and I cried like a baby in gratitude 😭🙌

I've never had that where it didn't bite me in the ass somehow, and I've never been more thankful and grateful to have these ppl in my life than this year. Saved me, frfr.

We had such an amazing Thanksgiving, no fights just food and vibes, and today I woke up on my cycle in so much pain without anything I needed, and I didn't even have to say anything or ask my fam just came to the rescue on pure instinct and care

Having real community makes everything hit so different

Meet the cutest lil guy at a local assassin market, he was so adorable and made our whole day

Aaaand ofc at the end of the day, after all that, my phone breaks 😩😅 *sigh* The things we have to get through with grace to live well in the end

Made a budget, came in under while getting all the groceries for the week, made the best dinner for my fam, cleaned my kids room so they could have a nice space, now I'm watching my fav show high as tits and sore as all hell but it feels so worth it 🤗

Captained the spaceship too close to the sun, but I'm super proud of kicking ass today

When you didn't even know your ex was released from his 10 year sentence, but your intuition picked up on it so crazy accurate you figured out anyway even after all this time 🤣🤣🤣

Adults who cannot handle their shit around pets/ animals drive me insane 🙄

I've had more charity and kindness from what we consider the bottom tier of society than all of the churches I've been to put together. And it's a crime, bc Mormons could single handedly feed, clothe, and house every single person in this country with no problems.

So many thoughts on the church experiments... you'll always be better off doing to drug dealers, strip clubs, and homeless camps to get actual honest to God aid than the vast majority of churches. Let's remember who Jesus kept company with during the revolution... there's a reason for that.

So in love with my life here, it's amazing what can happen when you finally get to live free of the cult with ppl who actually care about you 😩🫶

Love that we swapped out awful snow and scorching desert heat for constant rain and cool ocean forests 😍

Also dyed my hair blue green and my eyebrows 🤣 Idgaf, I'm gonna customize my character to the tens now I'm out of Utah!

Been a wonderful week, things in the house are starting to gel together well and improve. The local flora and fauna have taken to me, I've got a small army of squirrels, sparrows, crows and rats that I've been feeding and bonding with 😅 And I've begun foraging mushrooms and plants everywhere 🥰

Haven't felt like posting anywhere, trying to get back in the habit, but the main account is being watched so heavily it feels like I can't just be myself 🙄

I love that regardless of whatever bullshit comes my way, I handle that shit with my fam at my back like a fucking champ. Nobody is gonna break us up over nonsense, we're built so much stronger than that bc we're chosen found family that's held each other down through HELL

The worst part about hating and missing someone so much is knowing that means you still care 😒😔

Even when we still have to be bogged down by dead weight and bullshit 🤣🙌

Been such a weird stressful crazy couple weeks, but we're finally hired at a new job, the apartment is all set up, and slowly but surely we're moving forward to better days

One day I hope to make this place the safe haven she deserves to live in so we can finally heal and be free of the past thats kept us chained

Biiitch... even when it gets CRAZY hard... my partner shows up and does their best every gatdamn day 😩🙌🖤 Struggling to get hired, but that doesn't even stop her, she just puts in more applications and stays on it while cooking for the Haus like I've taught her, staying regulated and happy 🥰

Even when it gets too fucking difficult for words, we pull through and get shit done around here in a way I really truly appreciate.

When you come across a niche opinion or thought that you could never explain to anyone that didn't already know, and you rush to tell the person who does you usually talk about that thing with, only to remember ya'll can't even talk anymore 😩😅

I try so fucking hard to turn these houses into homes, but I can't turn a bitchy toddler into a decent hausmate