A very happy 76th birthday to the great #BonnieRaitt.

On my way to #TheRoundhouse to see #LaurieAnderson.

If the phrase 'dead inside' is in the dictionary this should be the photo used to illustrate it.

If there's going to be a corporate death penalty then I need to start keeping a list.

Big news from the state where I grew and lived until moving to the UK. For the first time in over 125 years Redder-Than-Red #BucksCounty the county DA is a Democrat/

Oh dear.

#IlDouche lies again.

There's no denying J-P is enjoying himself. #CPFC

A very happy birthday to the great Ms #JoniMitchell. May you gift us another 82 years.

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Today #IAmSandwichMan!

#IlDouche talks about the cost of living all the time but every word is a lie. Is he going to tell the truth now? Unlikely, innit?

Reports from Kent that #SandwichGuy is to be awarded the #FreedomOfSandwich cannot be confirmed at this time.

"I am not aware of that" #MosesJr replied.

For your edification.

More #Shrinkflation.

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Sweet Jesus.

Reports that #SandwichGuy has already inked a high six figure endorsement deal with #Subway cannot be confirmed at this time.

#RoyBuchanan #WhatImListeningTo

Great idea; will never, ever happen.

Sound.

Dear #FauxNews could you please share with us your definition of 'patriot' as well as your objective criteria for becoming a candidate of #PatriotOfTheYear with us? I'll just wait over here.

Whilst it's encouraging to see her coming to her senses, at least on this one issue, but we need to recognise that the GOP's 'health care plan' had been MIA for four years already when she first started campaigning for the House in 2019. It's missing now and it will still be missing next year.

Who's going to tell #IlDouche that (notoriously corrupt and money hungry) #FIFA doesn't even call it #Soccer. (Editor's note: reports that the second place contender for the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize, who only lost by a couple of votes, was #VinnyJones cannot be confirmed at this time.)

Citrix sucks. That is all.

*Britain not included.

By the time #IlDouche leaves the White House it's décor will be indistinguishable from that of a Nevada whorehouse designed and decorated by a 10 year old.

Once again the raving pedant in me demands that I point out that their 'word of the year' isn't a word.

The #ShitPosterInChief!

Oh my god. It's 2848? How long was I asleep? I just wanted a wee fucking nap!

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Meanwhile in #Kentucky the state's efforts to raise levels of educational attainment seem to have come up short of the mark.

Hmm. Is VP #WeirdIAm about to get written out of the will?

I thought that #FauxNews abhorred identity politics. I'm not wrong, am I?

Look can't we at least get past the performative "why aren't you wearing a poppy the size of France" outrage first before we start in on xmas?

This was two years ago. There are now 15 versions. What is wrong with me? #KingCrimson

I saw this yesterday then last night had a dream where #BeetlejuiceBarbie had slipped outside for a vape and was immediately abducted by #ICE. When finally located 9 months later she'd been deported to Somalia and was scavenging for food at the Mogadishu landfill. Does this make me a bad person?

I'm just hoping it wasn't 'up his arse'.

A strong gust of wind might get them back to V in a hurry though, or I of course.

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"Please place your room key inside because your corpse won't fit."

Because with Evri, formerly know as Hermes, there is a very good chance that you will never see it the first time, let alone again.

I'm thinking that Ms Swift and Ms Morrissette are also on that list; probably countless others.