It was so hot the other day that even the insects were dropping like flies #JokeOfTheDay

When profits dropped at the ice-skating rink, there was a freeze on everything #JokeOfTheDay

When the drunk went to get a haircut, he told the barber to take a little off the tope #JokeOfTheDay

I'm so cold that I cannot text correctly. I have typo-termia #JokeOfTheDay

I wanted to lose weight so I went to the to the paint store for some thinners #JokeOfTheDay

Disney posted 'Share a #Disney quote that sums up how your feeling right now!!! I am not sure what they expected but they have also now deleted the post but not before... www.threads.com/@michej40/po...

A very interesting read from @bylinesnetwork.co.uk bylinesnetwork.substack.com/p/decline-wh...

The tire factory was known as a tread mill #JokeOfTheDay

I can't remember the name of the pill but it's on the tip of my tongue #JokeOfTheDay

Walking in high heels keeps you on your toes #JokeOfTheDay

Thieves kidnapped the prized Asian ape because they believed in gibbon take #JokeOfTheDay

In the 70s, vinyl records were really groovy #JokeOfTheDay

To get dressed up, the snake handler put on an extra garter #JokeOfTheDay

The man who was attacked by the bear suffered a grizzly fate #JokeOfTheDay

An absolute unit of a figure shop.dc.com/products/abs...

He thought his wife's terrible coffee was grounds for divorce #JokeOfTheDay

The security guards at Samsung factories are the Guardians of the Galaxy #JokeOfTheDay

The female psychic who could float on water was named Claire Buoyant #JokeOfTheDay

More or Less has always been a great podcast but the current 5 episodes in 5 days is a dive into really interesting data. Highly worth everyone listening to for a number driven review of the UK today. pca.st/moreorless

The man who crashed his long, narrow sled got more than he tobogganed for.` #JokeOfTheDay

I saw right through my mum and dad's intentions. They are very transparent. #JokeOfTheDay

The seamstress was recently inducted into the Pin Pusher's Hall of Fame. It is quite a status thimble #JokeOfTheDay

A good juice bar will always put their customers thirst. #JokeOfTheDay

The retired track official has started forgetting things. He has old timer's disease. #JokeOfTheDay

I've had insomnia for six months now. I'm now tired of it. #JokeOfTheDay

Excellent move by the NHS IMHO. It all helps. www.gov.uk/government/p...

The display in London for New Year was very impressive. Amazing messages as well.

When the doctor asked the newspaper owner how he was doing. He apparently has circulation issues #JokeOfTheDay

The ham walked out of the hospital and declared 'I'm cured' #JokeOfTheDay

All the hares escaped the zoo last night. The police are combing the area #JokeOfTheDay

When a girl had to choose between her boyfriend and desserts, the choice was a piece of cake. #JokeOfTheDay

Hotel operators never die, they just checkout #JokeOfTheDay

The man with the handbars has to leave before he finishes dinner, so he mustache away his food for later #JokeOfTheDay

We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the Minneapolis #JokeOfTheDay

The woman really wanted to buy a large estate but she didn't dare mansion it to her husband #JokeOfTheDay

Reassembling the skeletons of prehistoric mammels can be a mammoth undertaking #JokeOfTheDay

I had a conversation with an idiot today. Moron that later. #JokeOfTheDay

If you say Absolutely Nothing backwards you get absolutely nothing #JokeOfTheDay

I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven. (Jason Cook) #JokeOfTheDay

I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame 'cause halfway through he disappears up his own a***hole. (Kevin Day). #JokeOfTheDay

Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying. (Scott Capurro) #JokeOfTheDay

I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s. (Bec Hill) #JokeOfTheDay

Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief. (Mark Watson) #JokeOfTheDay

I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set. (Masai Graham) #JokeOfTheDay

I've decided to sell my Hoover ... well, it was just collecting dust. (Tim Vine) #JokeOfTheDay

They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for. (Grace the Child). #JokeOfTheDay

Clowns divorce: custardy battle. (Simon Munnery) #JokeOfTheDay

The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves. (Alun Cochrane) #JokeOfTheDay

Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas. (Mark Nelson) #JokeOfTheDay

If I could take just one thing to a desert island, I probably wouldn’t go. (Dave Green) #JokeOfTheDay