great ad for volvo though

god i love it when the species has the same name as the genus

when i was 8, i was doodling lines on graphing paper and accidentally drew a swastika, and my mom told me never to draw that again, so i never did. was that my "nazi phase" that every boy supposedly goes through?

pope leo should run for president

in 2004, i died in the middle of a group project. my punishment for letting down the team is that every day since i have been forced to do group projects in which nobody does their part.

publishers are eagerly letting the worst people in the world release the worst books in the world and i cannot even get a "no"

ah good just a pubic-facing advertisement lobbying for the nicotine industry

i hope 100 years from now lawyers still cite Drake v Lamarr

Toronto when

it puts the eggy in the basket or else it gets the hose again

my toddler every day when i ask what he wants for dinner

"Canada Post doesn't turn a profit!" shut up, nerd. go count your fucking money, dick head.

maybe zoomers hate sex scenes because of emerald fennell

i love british tabloids because they'll be like "granny swaps knitting and reading glasses for all-night sex romp!!" and when you read it you find out the woman in question is like 42

maybe the rapture will finally bring down matcha prices

i swear to god i will not be able to handle future textbooks referring to the kirkian heresy causing the catholic schism of 2025

outlawing land acknowledgements and replacing them by having everyone acknowledge Charlie Kirk before every event for the rest of time

gonna mentally rewrite history and pretend all the performative mourning the past five days was actually a week later, and for Redford, who deserved it

the fuck is this shit

vikings at valhalla spending eternity splitting each others' skulls with hammers and then laughing about it over a horn of mead when some doofus podcaster walks in

charlie kirk suspect is john plainman, a white kid from a mormon family in utah who went to utah state university. reports are that he listened to imagine dragons, played fortnite and really liked mac and cheese with a big glass of milk.

There is a gargantuan meat grinder, and it lives in the public square of the United States. Each day, someone new takes their shift turning the handle, pulping the bodies of the country’s most vulnerable people into mulch to fertilize a political debate. And the world is forced to watch.

i still remember what i was doing when i heard charlie kirk got shot

lauryn hill waiting for this presser and going "wow, what is wrong with this guy"

sobbing uncontrollably after a quiet and quavering vocal rendition of the chorus to sugar ray's hit 1997 single "fly"

we polymerized versailles

stop calling it AI stop calling it AI stop calling it AI stop calling it AI stop calling it AI

people who say they love dubai are walking red flags

nick cave in 1996: *declines an mtv music award nomination to avoid offending his muse* nick cave in 2025:

i hate everyone in the world and i just want them all to be happy

lol

STOP TALKING ABOUT WHO DROVE THE HOT DOG CAR INTO THE STORE!!!!

ghislaine maxwell has the chance to do the funniest thing right now

i no longer fear hell, for i have been to hand, foot and mouth disease

"The only thing to fear is fear itself." wrong. idiot. piranhas, for one. i can't believe you forgot about the piranhas.

Oh, how I hope this gets as much attention as that time a conservative woman got accidentally knocked over by a horse in Ottawa during the trucker fiasco and everyone said she was trampled.

"if alex jones turns out to be a liar and a fraud, my whole world view will be shattered" is the single most unintentionally funny take of all time

who would ever have thought the bromance between the two softest, most narcissistic men in the world would end like this

"capitol hell" haha is this a thing yet

every time i think about midnight cowboy i unconsciously substitute jon voight for robert redford and i don't think i can ever watch it again without being disappointed

every Trump post reads like grandpa accidentally set his signature as Thank you for your attention to this matter! and has no idea how to turn it off

oh no. jucika is one of those people.

hot single moms in your area are just so fucking tired all the time

popem if u gottem

wait a minute why is my theme song suddenly playing more slowly and in a minor key

acab includes parents asking their toddler if he just did a poo

the jury lounge erupting in applause as the court clerk tells us all we will not be needed after the first day and should all go home. me: okay it really seems like you're mad at me?

*poilievre walking in with I AM A LITTLE WIENER BOY tattooed on his forehead* well well well, guess who just got thrown out of parliament for...you guessed it...being white!

andor's sound mixing makes me fucking crazy. it is a show where people are either speaking in clandestine whispers or shooting each other with explosively loud blasters, so i have to watch with my remote in my life hand.