My parents planted an apple tree when I was born. When I’m healthy, its fruit is sweet & #bountiful, enough to feed the neighbourhood. They knew I was ill before I did. “The tree’s bare,” they said. Their neighbours sent a card. “Get well soon. We want our crumble!” #vss365

Jen asked her ChatBot how to overcome her #lethargy. “It’s a better therapist than you,” she told her therapist. The therapist wasn’t sure how to respond, so she asked her own ChatBot. They played cards & let the bots talk. Jen felt better, so it worked wonders! Or maybe it was the cards. #vss365

A message flashes up on my phone. “Click here for a glimpse into your future.” Intrigued, I click. Reverse camera is on, my face filling the screen. I blink. When my eyes reopen, they’re clouded with #cataracts. Now I can’t see the button to click to go back… #vss365

Every year on their anniversary, Susan visits his grave with flowers. But this year, waiting in all his #splendour, is John. She gasps. “Is it really you? Am I seeing ghosts now?” “No. You are one,” he says. On the grave, her name glints in gold letters. #vss365

Jane was too #timid to speak up when her boss was rude. The words always got stuck in her throat. But written words? Those she could turn into weapons. One morning, the boss was found dead, slumped at his desk. Jane smiled. He got her email then. #vss365

I hoped joining the metal detectorists’ club would bring me untold riches. Instead, in my #quest for buried treasure, all I did was lose my bracelet. But everyone was friendly, & afterwards we all laughed about it in the pub. And I realised I’d struck gold after all. #vss365

“Literally #obsessed with these nails!” my nail tech squeals as she snaps a photo of my new manicure. I roll my eyes. Young people these days always mis-use words. Of course she isn’t “literally obsessed.” Mind you, she isn’t letting go of my hand… #vss365

“Ugh, don’t you hate the way these high- #velocity hand dryers make your skin ripple?” I say to the girl beside me. “That’s nothing,” she says lifting a skinless, skeletal hand. I yank my hand out immediately. Her bones rattle as she waves goodbye. “Lovely & dry though!” #vss365

The influencer is testing that new “lit-from-within” highlighter that’s everywhere. “Swipe it across the brow bone & #orbital bone like this, and… wow. Look at that glow,” she says. Her skin flickers. Almost pulses. “Join us,” she says. “Be luminous.” I click *buy.* #vss365o

I really tried to channel Amy in my karaoke performance. They said it was #stellar. Ever since, I’ve felt compelled to write songs & my hair has risen into a beehive of its own accord. Now as I slather on the eyeliner, my reflection purrs, “I told you I was trouble.” #vss365

I smile sweetly at people on my walk. But inside, an angry perimenopausal fire rages. My ear pods blast Rage Against The Machine while I stomp, murderous thoughts swirling. An older woman nods #knowingly as she walks by, & I hope her carefree smile means this will pass. #vss365

I’m walking through the park at night when a man appears, swinging an axe. “It’s ok,” he calls to me. “I’m not some #crazed axe murderer. I’m just stealing some fire wood from that fallen tree.” “Good,” I say. “There’s only room for one crazed axe murderer round here…” #vss365

It’s no mystery who’s stealing my lunch from the fridge at work. Peter’s #blatant about it, strolling around eating my sandwiches in plain sight. But I don’t mind. I don’t even work here. It’s probably time I stopped following my son to work… #vss365

The alternative makeover. “Make Me #Beastly,” was strangely liberating. Afterwards, we stalked through town, roaring & hairy, long-suppressed appetites suddenly raging. And when we caught up with the men, we fed. #vss365

I wondered what Gran would make of the world today. I asked AI. It replied in her voice: “Stop checking in on me, pet. I’m gone. Live your life.” I stared at the screen, #mystified. “How did you do that?” I typed. “I’d tell you, pet… but it’d blow your mind.” #vss365

I leave the salon, my new #bouncy blow-dry putting a spring in my step. Even the drizzle doesn’t dampen my mood. I wonder what hairdryer they use? But my reflection shows flat hair again. Still, I feel beautiful. And, as I think it, my hair seems to lift in agreement. #vss365

A #mountainous pile of essays waited on my desk. One biscuit per script would get me through it. By the 4th custard cream, the arguments felt “nuanced.” By the 7th, spelling errors seemed “creative.” By the 10th, it was distinctions all round. Mountain conquered! #vss365

On Zoom calls, people ask if my forest backdrop is wallpaper or a template. “Neither,” I say. “It’s real. #Enchanted.” They laugh. Until someone argues with me. Then their screen flickers & they appear in a tree behind me. They usually stop laughing then. And arguing. #vss365

The canapés were so tiny. But the party stretched on for weeks, so we got used to the portions. In fact, they became hard to finish. Soon the waiters towered over us. When they lifted us onto a silver tray & said, “You’re perfectly #minuscule now,” I finally understood. #vss365

My old photo album has been calling to me lately. I stroke the photo of my ex boyfriend, then check no-one’s watching, & press my lips to the glossy surface & #kiss him. The scariest thing isn’t that he kisses me back. It’s that my Mum slaps us from the adjacent photo. #vss365

My sister’s just leaving when I wake up. “Superwoman was in town last night,” she says. “Saved us all from aliens. You missed it again! Where did you go?” I shrug. “No idea. Must’ve had another #lacuna.” She turns & waves, cloak billowing. I blink. Hang on... I don’t have a sister. #vss365

As the shadow of dark roots re-appeared, my #dark thoughts would creep back in. I warded them off with a touch-up of bleach. But my roots are turning silver now. And the thoughts are changing. The silver whispers magical ideas. I cancel the appointment. Let it grow. #vss365

We all used to #touch the old oak “for luck.” Illness, job worries, break-ups - we whispered them into its bark & let it hold what we couldn’t. Until it couldn’t. Old Ron was the last to touch it. He didn’t notice the crack. Now he’s saddled with all our darkest fears. #vss365

The diary was helping. Each day, the #ache in my chest stopped when I wrote in it. “But you didn’t have an ache before you got that diary,” my friend said. I skipped a night to prove her wrong. I felt fine the next day, but my friend was in agony. “Write!” she screamed. #vss365

He smelled his ex before he saw her. That cloying scent that she used to spray all over the house. Here it was now, in the frozen food aisle. It chilled him to the #bone. Then a hand clasped his shoulder. “You look good,” she whispered, and popped him into her trolley. #vss365

The therapist removed the pen from Harriet’s hand, leaving her name unfinished- i undotted, t uncrossed. “Sit with the discomfort,” she said. On the therapist’s lap, ink leaked from the nib, bleeding dots & slashes across her #pale skirt. Harriet sat back & exhaled. #vss365

Ex-Sup’t Carol went for a #blood test. “Relax,” said the nurse. Carol stiffened. The vial remained empty. She fixed the nurse with her famous stare. “Where did you train?” “King’s,” she gulped. A tiny drop flowed with each answer. “Your results will be ready in 2-3 working days,” said Carol. #vss365

Everyone in A&E on Friday night compares #wounds. “You should see the other guy,” the woman with the black eye laughs. The waiting room falls silent. They all look at the husband. He hasn’t got a mark on him. Yet. #vss365

The #lambent light at golden hour is a soft-focus filter. It’s the only time she lets anyone see her these days. At sunrise she flees like Cinderella from the ball, skin mottling, eyes dulling. She lost a shoe once in her rush. Not a glass slipper. An orthopaedic one. #vss365

His phone beeped as he arrived home. “Great night. When shall we do it again?” He ignored it. Best way to deal with needy women. Turning to the mirror, he gasped. His reflection was fading like smoke. His phone beeped again. “Oh, and I always #ghost people too. Soz.” #vss365

They’ve resurrected that old perfume we all wore in the late 80s/early 90s. I ordered it, inhaled, and it all came flooding back. Bros. Roller boots. Shell suits… …And the #pain of bullying. The scent will fade. But those old taunting voices? I’m scared they won’t. #vss365

Chairs remember the shapes we leave behind; door handles the warmth of passing palms. Mirrors know our scratches and wrinkles. This house inhales arguments and exhales laughter. It’s archiving us, quietly collecting the fragments we don’t realize we’ve shed, building a #soul from scratch. #vss365

With weak hands, I type ‘The End,’ another piece of my #soul drained away into a book. Each one kills me a little bit more, I know that. My books fill an entire shelf now. But I will live on forever between their pages. If you’re lucky, I might pull you in, too… #vss365

😱😱😱 Love this!

“Today we’re doing #shadow yoga,” said the instructor. “I’ll talk to your shadows. Let them lead you & unlock your unconscious.” I rolled my eyes but played along. Afterwards, I ran up & kissed him. “Sorry. Sneaky old shadow!” I laughed. “That was all *you*,” a voice echoed. #vss365

I didn’t sleep a wink last night. Nanna was singing lullabies again. They’re meant to #soothe, but they never do. Probably because Nanna’s been dead a while. #vss365

My pony always sensed danger long before I did. Knew when the landowner was about to give chase or a storm was closing in. She’d carry me off at lightning speed. She’s long since passed. But sometimes I still hear it. That rhythmic #thrum of hooves. A warning. And I run. #vss365

We Drs are trained to #obfuscate with our handwriting. It prevents lawsuits, apparently. Side effect: everything I write looks the same. Yesterday I wrote “Sertraline 50mg” in my wife’s card, & “I love you” on a prescription. Luckily my wife couldn’t tell. But the pharmacist is blushing. #vss365

I wake up on my 50th birthday and feel different. In fact, I don’t recognise the face in the mirror. This woman is a stranger. Old. Scary. My bottom lip begins to #quiver. But hers doesn’t. #vss365

He was certain her anger would #wane. “She’ll come round,” he told his mates. “She always does.” But this time the moon sets & doesn’t rise. He steps outside into darkness, the world tilting on its axis as a tidal wave thunders towards him. #vss365

If I imbue every moment with meaning, like someone on the #cusp of change, then today will be the day. The pale sky is a hopeful blank page, the birdsong an overture. The wind slaps my face. “Pay attention. You’ll remember this day!” Then I go home to await the email… #vss365

Any minute now, they’re going to stop this simulation, drop us back in 1999, and say, “Ok folks, if we’re not careful, that’s how it’s all gonna pan out.” And we’ll say, “Thank God that was all a #ruse,” switch Baywatch on, and wonder why the rest of our lives are tinged with déjà vu. #vss365

My mum unwraps the silky underwear, eyebrows raised. My boyfriend goes crimson. “That wasn’t meant for you,” he stutters. Dad coughs. “Ah, that’s a Freudian #slip.” “How do you know?” Mum says. “Funny story. I bought you one, but accidentally...” Mum glares at him. “Who?” #vss365

“We can’t believe it, can we Tony? We always bring the weather with us.” We laugh nervously. The manager stares. “This resort is a sun-drenched paradise. Then you arrive & we get… what you call this?” “ #Drizzle!” we chime. He clicks his fingers. “Security! Taxi for 2. To the airport.” #vss365

Carol’s colleagues released a balloon for her retirement, a symbolic “ #unmooring” from work. It’s been snagged on a tree ever since. Now a bird flies off with it. “Time to move on?” says Ian. It squawks at a passer-by. Carol narrows her eyes. Something about that walk... #vss365

Every time a reader folds a page corner, or worse still, #bends the spine of a book, the author feels it. Someone somewhere has just dog-eared my debut novel. I shiver. And again. I sigh. I’m grateful for the readership. Truly. But what’s wrong with a bookmark? #vss365

We lie on the grass watching a huge cloud #loom on the horizon. You see a butterfly. I see a monster. As it draws nearer, you smile. I run. You call after me, “See!” You’re right. It *is* a butterfly. Just… on a monster’s nose. I’ll miss you & your rosy outlook... #vss365

I stand aside while everyone throws roses into my mother-in-law’s grave. We never pretended to like each other. When the mourners suddenly #veer left, I look up. A spray of roses is flying back out. I catch it. A cackle echoes from the depths of the grave. “Unlucky!” #vss365

My new neighbourhood is so peaceful. I drift off to the soft #murmur of neighbours’ chatter. “Don’t relax to that,” says Mrs Patel the next day. “We’re sworn to silence after dark. That’s not us you’re hearing. It’s The Murmur.” Night falls. And now it whispers my name. #vss365

It’s a housing estate now. But I can still see the #dappled light playing on your face when this was all woodland. “The spirit of this place lives on,” says the developer. “It’s gone,” I whisper. “Us too,” you whisper back. “I feel it,” someone in the crowd says. #vss365