legally changing my name to All so I can sell clothing that only fits me labeled "one size: fits All"

if alright gets to be a word alwrong should get to be a word

see where there was one set of footprints in the snow? that's where mariah carried u

i'm old, cold, and full of mold

guy who sees "post nasal drip" and uploads photos of paisley handkerchiefs

video games you can't die in should have mortal mode cheats

writing class for inmates, call that prose and cons

look upon my works, ye mighty and dis pair

i swear i'm neuro-convergent

need to insult an academic? tell em they'll only get cited for speeding

guy walking thru ikea and seeing a 6' blahaj: we're gonna need a bigger cart

what is the point of you.

if u don't think about it a coffin is an egg for zombies

do u think toto and kansas ever toured together

thinking about having a little mental break, as a treat

ur tellin me government workers get a fur load today

early am cooking show call it good mornay america

programming be like

u gotta have an undergraduate degree in math to work at a lumberyard, after all you gotta use the log scales

wrap ur husband up tight in a blanket so he can't move and make him watch, call that a cuckoon

a comedy golf show called who's lie is it anyway

jean valjean when a lady wears a low-cut dress: 😧

zeno's pair of doc martins

quick chemistry lesson: if you combine acid and bass u get phil lesh

i swear 2 dog one of these days i'mma get the long end of the stick and when i do...

big kitty garf girlfriend...

i nearly died at work today because a program that turns unprocessed (raw) data into production data (hot) and accumulates it was called "raw_hot_cum"

starting a medical practice specializing in knee injuries, gonna call it the acl-u

low fi studs to beat to

the byrds and the beatles

tried to organize an orgy but no one came

wake me up inside when you remember the 21st of september ends

bridge over the river kawaii

i reject your cookies and substitute my own

tom lehrer passed away so give this a listen, its still relevant as ever 60 years later www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSwY...

love that youtube just opts you into shit like this without telling you and you have to go through every video one by one to turn it off

humidity more like who mid it i

i would never tell time, i'm not a narc

if u hang a flag on ur apartment wall and get in trouble will your landlord, do u have to pay pennants

hope springs eternal but the ocean of despair is always there

has anyone ever been caught on the front foot?

his full name is don quixote kong

the feeling of no longer needing to think about something u've been worrying about is priceless cuz ur ex-pensive

me: 9-5 a human: job a calculator: 4 excel: september 5th, 2025

what does this mean

had a near death experience and my wife flashed before my eyes idk why she tried to run me over

did u hear about the arms dealer laundering their money? their front was a war cash car wash

did u hear about the wererabbit who stole carrots? they were a lop shifter shop lifter

stop trying to make fantastic four happen

was steve irwin based on crocodile dundee 🤔