If your editor asks you to suffer through an entire book of that prose to report the gory details back to the rest of us, please demand combat pay

I know everyone thinks their Trader Joe’s has the worst parking but the Madison garage is the only place I’ve ever experienced parking stress as a Honda Fit owner

Have you considered 1) having friends outside of your job and also 2) the fact that many people’s love of beauty is not compatible with other people’s ideas of what items are okay to put in a communal microwave

Pop Culture Jeopardy being a team sport is the bane of my existence

Academy Award winner Mikey Madison... Celia Imrie breakout star of Celebrity Traitors UK... why have you not binged Better Things yet?

Nothing will ever replace Twist in my heart but I will concede that Miutine is pretty good

NOOOOOO NOT D'ANGELO

Every detail of Wendy and Eddie’s crimes is more Coen brothers-coded than the last

Gizelle Bryant has to be INSUFFERABLE right now

I have never loved anything the way national publications love to publish pieces about Madison’s food scene that fail to mention what is by a wide, wide margin the best restaurant in the city

My dog is taking 20 minutes to poop because it’s windy but at least I get to listen to my neighbors in their backyard learning the rules of a complicated board game

Have come a long way on my people pleasing but I do need everyone who works at my dentist’s office to love me

High of 87 today so obviously she’s doing this while I read

Mother/One Battle After Another #boymom/#girldad double feature

“I don’t watch enough football to know this… do they show the owner when every team scores a touchdown or is that just for the Cowboys?”

If Francesca Hong becomes our next governor I will limit myself to one (1) self-pitying whine per year about how my life is incomplete without the miso veggie ramen + spicy bomb from Morris Ramen

can you call it sundowning if it starts at 10am?

Why is Mary holding what appears to be a diagram of feet?

I love the notion that the social network where users only know one Billy Joel song and it’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and not “Piano Man” has a lot of social influence

Last night our friends’ toddler handed me this cursed Beanie Baby as part of an elaborate bedtime procrastination gambit and when I say my dog was shaken to her core by this object, I am, if anything, underselling it

Experiencing normal and healthy feelings toward everyone who gets to see One Battle After Another before I do

Just saw a BUKELE vanity plate and I have a few follow up questions

They could never make me hate Solene because she has the same diction as Celine Dion

You can tell Larsa is dumb as hell because I’d be thrilled if my friends with ADHD started writing shit down

“Home” discourse is lightly retraumatizing due to my experience working as a barista in a vegetarian coffeehouse circa 2010

Going to medical school to develop the vaccination for Janet Caperna Derangement Syndrome

I know I’m always threatening to be done with RHOBH but if Dorit pretends she’s not using a ghost writer I fear not even Jennifer Tilly can save the program

Some of you did not listen to the You're Wrong About episode about the Duke lacrosse case and it shows!!!

How many Middlemarch-inspired novels can I read before I am required by law to read Middlemarch

Pleased to announce that I have defeated jet lag in spite of insurmountable odds (being 35 years old)

Catching up on my stories and Janet acting like being the partner of a lawyer is about being a lawyer by proxy when being the partner of a lawyer is actually about clowning on their chosen career 24/7 is the most offensive thing she’s done to me specifically

Taco Bell getting rid of the value menu item I modified into Triple Layer Nachos… anti-vegetarian discrimination strikes again

European teens are positively rabid for Coach shoulder bags

The only reason Jax isn’t going to Hawaii is that he thinks you need a Passport to get there

Do my eyes deceive me or are there two entire men in Casa whose tattoos aren’t criminally corny?

Our power went out for a minute and when it came back our TV was in HD ???????

Yes, it’s hard to be blessed with perfect taste

The scarcity of Phantom Thread on these celeb top ten lists… some people do not have enough taste to hold a position of influence

I don't think Kim Zolciak should be spending her children's money on Tignanello but I respect that she's a Super Tuscan girlie

Everything is pretty bad but at least we're alive to experience this unreal yaya bey album streak

Absolutely in tears at Fabolous mediating the Lisa-Larsa feud, Miami is on a level other RH cities can only dream of

Ace is the male Lala Kent

Matt made double-cooked pork last night and this creep-ass dog snuck into his closet to sleep on the shirt he was wearing while he did it

r/TopChef needs to start gatekeeping out people who haven’t watched every season because we really have people out here posting that stone cold competitor Kristen Kish is too emotional to be a Traitor

Distressed to realize Jennifer Tilly will never be on The Traitors because filming overlaps with the World Series of Poker

My dog has a little turquoise dot tattooed on her belly to indicate that she is spayed. I’ve become fixated on the idea of getting a little turquoise dot tattooed on my belly to indicate that I think it’s extremely funny for a person and a dog to have matching tattoos.

My best friend once made me watch this and laughed hysterically through the whole thing, then cheerfully replied “no” when I asked if she’s ever seen any of the Saw movies. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfDX...

People romanticize pale eye colors but do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to need to wear sunglasses to drive in the rain?