Kellie
@kellieherson.bsky.social
📤 175
📥 365
📝 491
rigatoni mad max dontbeuncool.substack.com
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I have a weekly newsletter where I share incisive Bravo takes such as these to aid readers in their efforts to pretend to do work on Fridays. Usually it's short and sweet, but this week I had A Lot of Opinions:
open.substack.com/pub/dontbeun...
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We Should All Know Less About Each Other
And that includes reality TV stars.
https://open.substack.com/pub/dontbeuncool/p/we-should-all-know-less-about-each?r=7j3&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
over 1 year ago
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“They just hustled Yam Yam out of there like Mike Pence on January 6.”
about 23 hours ago
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Went to Scent Bar
5 days ago
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The Testament of Ann Lee did not get nominated for any Oscars but it did get my best friend to spend the last several days talking about how she’s going to become a Shaker and nobody is sure if she’s doing a bit or not
12 days ago
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My new PCP has an interest in crossword puzzles listed in her website bio and she is not even a little bit prepared for how I'm going to waltz into my physical and stunt on her NYT times
12 days ago
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Dave-os
14 days ago
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You won't catch me posting a carousel of pictures from the year I took my doctoral exams
19 days ago
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Turns out I’m a hater first and a Packers fan second
22 days ago
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Unironically believe these snoozy red carpet choices to be a recession indicator
23 days ago
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Grocery aisles hate to see every right-wing man who posted the words “situational awareness” this week coming
25 days ago
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Favorite books of 2025
about 1 month ago
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5
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Cause of death: the Packers fielding onside kicks
about 1 month ago
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Dr. Simone needs to run away and join the Top of the Lake shipping container cult imho
about 2 months ago
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I generally respect the accuracy of this program but as someone who grew up watching my ER doctor godmother point to motorcyclists without helmets and yell "organ donor!" I am distressed by this
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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Are they giving NFL players sideline churus now
2 months ago
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In the span of fifteen minutes last night this dog: - barfed - lunged at and bit the vacuum cleaner - pooped - wolfed down a whole bowl of food
2 months ago
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When is this man going to learn there is nothing he can do or say that will make him not from Hayward
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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We watched one episode of Real Housewives of Melbourne last night and I am already obsessed with the vast gulf between Gina's aesthetic and Gina's personality. She's like the Barbie dreamhouse/goth house neighbors meme contained within a single body.
2 months ago
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Some personal news: my dog just growled herself awake from a nap
2 months ago
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Okay FINE maybe I do want to know more about these people
3 months ago
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If your editor asks you to suffer through an entire book of that prose to report the gory details back to the rest of us, please demand combat pay
3 months ago
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I know everyone thinks their Trader Joe’s has the worst parking but the Madison garage is the only place I’ve ever experienced parking stress as a Honda Fit owner
3 months ago
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Have you considered 1) having friends outside of your job and also 2) the fact that many people’s love of beauty is not compatible with other people’s ideas of what items are okay to put in a communal microwave
3 months ago
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Pop Culture Jeopardy being a team sport is the bane of my existence
4 months ago
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Academy Award winner Mikey Madison... Celia Imrie breakout star of Celebrity Traitors UK... why have you not binged Better Things yet?
4 months ago
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Nothing will ever replace Twist in my heart but I will concede that Miutine is pretty good
4 months ago
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NOOOOOO NOT D'ANGELO
4 months ago
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Every detail of Wendy and Eddie’s crimes is more Coen brothers-coded than the last
4 months ago
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Gizelle Bryant has to be INSUFFERABLE right now
4 months ago
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I have never loved anything the way national publications love to publish pieces about Madison’s food scene that fail to mention what is by a wide, wide margin the best restaurant in the city
4 months ago
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My dog is taking 20 minutes to poop because it’s windy but at least I get to listen to my neighbors in their backyard learning the rules of a complicated board game
4 months ago
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Have come a long way on my people pleasing but I do need everyone who works at my dentist’s office to love me
4 months ago
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High of 87 today so obviously she’s doing this while I read
4 months ago
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Mother/One Battle After Another
#boymom/#girldad
double feature
4 months ago
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“I don’t watch enough football to know this… do they show the owner when every team scores a touchdown or is that just for the Cowboys?”
4 months ago
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If Francesca Hong becomes our next governor I will limit myself to one (1) self-pitying whine per year about how my life is incomplete without the miso veggie ramen + spicy bomb from Morris Ramen
4 months ago
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can you call it sundowning if it starts at 10am?
4 months ago
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Why is Mary holding what appears to be a diagram of feet?
5 months ago
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I love the notion that the social network where users only know one Billy Joel song and it’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and not “Piano Man” has a lot of social influence
5 months ago
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Last night our friends’ toddler handed me this cursed Beanie Baby as part of an elaborate bedtime procrastination gambit and when I say my dog was shaken to her core by this object, I am, if anything, underselling it
5 months ago
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Experiencing normal and healthy feelings toward everyone who gets to see One Battle After Another before I do
5 months ago
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Just saw a BUKELE vanity plate and I have a few follow up questions
5 months ago
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add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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They could never make me hate Solene because she has the same diction as Celine Dion
5 months ago
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5 months ago
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You can tell Larsa is dumb as hell because I’d be thrilled if my friends with ADHD started writing shit down
6 months ago
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“Home” discourse is lightly retraumatizing due to my experience working as a barista in a vegetarian coffeehouse circa 2010
6 months ago
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Going to medical school to develop the vaccination for Janet Caperna Derangement Syndrome
6 months ago
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I know I’m always threatening to be done with RHOBH but if Dorit pretends she’s not using a ghost writer I fear not even Jennifer Tilly can save the program
6 months ago
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Some of you did not listen to the You're Wrong About episode about the Duke lacrosse case and it shows!!!
6 months ago
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How many Middlemarch-inspired novels can I read before I am required by law to read Middlemarch
6 months ago
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