is this anything

desiderium mortis et silentii. sanguis Iesu, serva me. sacrificia non frustra facta. altana nos protege.

pov you’re my sun visor

wataa and it’s just the sexiest water bottle you’ve ever seen

most people want to be remembered forever i want you to forget i exist right now

there was really only one reason for me to be here but now that reason feels kind of silly

a girl not meant for this world

asking myself why i feel like shit mentally while simultaneously dying from lack of sleep, nourishment, connection, and touch

any girls out there care more about fonts and type setting than video games? no? just me?

rare selfie, not sure why i bother anymore though

how are y’all holdin’ up over here, is this place infected too?

i released a garage tape over the weekend that's available on all streaming platforms, if you even care tidal.com/browse/album...

today was my birthday i’m officially almost 40

today was my birthday i’m officially almost 40

sup nerds

give me one more shot

despite the struggle, i can still fake a smile

are people still on here

a story in 3 parts: 3 sessions, 24 hours, no tap outs

no tap outs

no tap outs

this whip hard as nails 💫

part 1

part 1

my body is not sexually suggestive

my body is not sexually suggestive

felt cute

if you ever try flirting with me my knee jerk reaction will be to just send you music because i dunno how to flirt

i dunno how to flirt with people at all and so trauma bonding is all i really know but subsequent trauma has led to that becoming a red flag in and of itself

as someone who is asexual and carries a lot of trauma, i so desperately want to live in a world where dating someone does not mean you’re fucking them

genuinely what makes people happy, how do people fill their brain space with things other than thoughts of suicide, i am struggling so bad i just want it to stop, i want to feel normal and sane

logging off until i feel like life has meaning

perhaps the strangest part about not having a family anymore is that they still exist, they will still die one day, and i will grieve for them, which is maybe partially why my subconscious is so fixated on dying first, just a thought/realization i had coming out of a dream

i wonder why no one talks to me and then i remember that being perpetually suicidal and talking about it openly is not a very attractive quality so i try to bottle it up and then the ideation gets exponentially worse

been crying a lot lately, i know why but i’m not entirely sure that it matters, i feel really awful about everything all the time and there’s never really any relief from that, i spend every night wondering if it’s even worth it to keep going, i’m not convinced but i push on anyway

hello

been going kinda ham lately

trying new things

i hope next year i’m able to separate my sense of self worth from the amount of selfies i take for likes, i’m really fucking tired of wasting so much time and energy on that shit

i’ll like your tweets but i won’t say what i’m thinking when i do

call me asexual the way nothing makes me hornier than typesetting

i like this photo a lot

realizing that i wasn’t scared of or attracted to cis women, but envious of them, and then realizing that i wasn’t attracted to boys either, but rather girls who used to be boys, was easily one of the most intense breakthroughs of my life

one of the saddest parts about transitioning later in life is that all of my past design and art work is hidden away behind googling my deadname

sup nerds

do you hate me yet