We've all been so worried and focused on a possible attack on Greenland by the US that we took our eyes off the Beckhams, and didn't see the nuclear missiles being readied by Brooklyn. Massive destruction.

Good and bad from that half. Bad, we were playing pretty poorly at the end. Good, we were playing better at the end, than at the beginning.

Feel like Kela needs to go down with a little niggle.

My mum just used to sew my name into the collar.

On the one hand, im so happy Gabi scored. On the other, we've got 45 mins to defend the lead...

29th December, Monday. Also known as 'Google how long cooked Turkey is safe to eat' day

Ive sat down to watch the Forest Man City game with a huge plate of leftovers. Will be spoiled by the obligatory Haaland goal in the first 15 minutes of course.

Football players take such good penalties these days.

Other than it being pretty funny that the US will be stuck with a load of stuff named after Trump, years after he's dead, I wonder whether his sudden urge to name pretty much anything after himself is because he's had some bad news about his health.

An Arsenal win that felt more nervous than it probably was. Everton didnt really have a chance and not a lot of possession, but... only 1 goal and some recent bad performances made it worse. A second goal, and we could have slept through the rest of the game.

I was hoping after a week off Arsenal would be really on it. Instead they look like they've spent the day Xmas shopping and suddenly realised they havent got anything for their other halfs.

Not sure what was worse, having to watch that performance or having to listen to Darren Fletcher on commentary. Anyway, thank God for Jesus.

Is it the Champions League? Then it must be a Martinelli goal.

2nd day of December and its salted crinkled crisps from the Danish advent calendar

1st day of December and the Danish adventure calendar offers up a packet of cheesy puffs. Yum!

Bayern Munich were worryingly good for most of the 1st half. Best team ive seen us play, probably since PSG last season. But 2nd half, man, we were so so good.

Ive now got a hattrick of "How did that not go in?" watching Arsenal vs Bayern. Can't believe we haven't scored

Has there been any one who is both as rich and potentially dangerously powerful as Elon Musk but also so emotionally thin skinned that their actions often provoke piss-taking in the extreme? He's the richest man in the world & yet the whole Elon vs important people debate with Grok was so cringe

Scotland are going to win the World Cup and Keiran Tierney's carrying the trophy home in a Tesco carrier bag.

People are saying its not too bad because we've got Hincapie and Mosquera, so we shouldn't be worried. But they haven't used my time machine and seen the injuries theyre gonna pick up next week.

Quite the challenge to do a worse job as a 'former PM' than she made as an actual PM, but Liz is making a good fist of it.

I've been fortunate enough to have flown from and to a shit load of different airports across the world. The idea that Heathrow is somehow one of the worse is pretty funny. I can only assume Noah Smith is suffering from massive jetlag and sells more subs when he slates the UK.

A dog is a great way of knowing if someone's trying to break into your house. Also to alert you if someone has the temerity to walk along the pavement past your house ...or along the pavement past your house on the other side of the road. ...or sometimes that there's no-one outside at all.

Gotta admire the absolute chutzpah of Barrowman and Mone for how they've run PPE Medpro. Take the profit, don't pay the tax, put it into administration so the govt cant get the money back for selling unfit equipment >>

Haaland is undoubtedly a brilliant striker, generational. And yet despite that and despite he's a huge bloke with blonde hair and therefore pretty hard to miss, the Bournemouth defenders just let him run straight pass them without a care in the world.

The half was so one sided, that David Raya popped home to water his plants

Now that our son has reached the age that going trick or treating is "A BIT MEH", the dog can relax knowing that she won't get dressed up as a dragon or a bat and dragged outside by my partner. The look of relief in her eyes in palpable

What you post when you're looking for a picture of Spaghetti Junction but cant find one.

Does Casemiro just not like playing in the rain?

Lovely goal by Martinelli. His initial header wasnt the best, but it made the defender just move a little towards him, and then with his *next* touch, hes away. Great sub. A fast energetic player coming on after 70 mins against players who've tired themselves in a really high tempo game.

Zubi-fecking-mendi. Wow. That's such a lovely hit.

The Arsenal chat was about which players wouldn't get in the match day squad, (especially with Martinelli and Trossard staying and Eze joining) but here we are with Odegaard, Saka, White, Norgaard and Havertz injured. If the injury gods haven't been placated, the big squad is the way to go

Havertz has so much love for this club and the fans, he's injured himself, just so Arsenal change their plans and *do* sign Eze. What a man.

On the plus side, with Havertz injured, there's no chance of *the* narrative happening when had he been picked ahead of Gyokeres on Saturday

Spursy

And he's off! Gyokeres first goal. And with his head, which apparently he doesn't score with. Such good movement to make himself some space.

My dad went into a care home when his Alzheimers became too severe. My mum had carers at home. I can't see a single way how ChatGPT would have made a noticeable difference.

I'm sad to say that since leaving Twitter/X my sales for live shows have dropped quite a lot - it turns out that even though it's a dreadful place it was still useful for getting the word out about events. So any shares / RTs of my posts about live shows are hugely appreciated!

"For too long people have been denied a real political choice" Corbyn was leader of the Labour Party just 5 years ago. "We are never ever going away" Corbyn is 76 years old, so *he* probably is going away fairly soon.

1 in 1 of all my children were both born overseas (and is a British Citizen...).

Not easy to judge Max Dowman against AC Milan, as they weren't exactly great. But, he's looking just as good against Newcastle

I know it's only a friendly and the first one at that, and I know we're missing 3 defenders, but giving a 15 Yr old 30 mins is showing a lot of trust in Salmon Also Dowman looking like he plays against adults this every day is pretty cool

He might be old, but having four arms is a hell of an advantage in Rugby

Current weather comment: "Would you like ice in your drunk sir" "Yes please, preferably something just ever so slightly larger than the lump that did for the Titanic, thanks"

Planning your Glasto logistics to maximise your viewing pleasure was always a thing. There's so many stages, theres definitely space for a few repeat showings.

Not my best run today. Going to blame it on the heat. That, and looking at my watch, not where I was going.

Let sleeping dogs lie

Bluesky is generally a nicer, better, and more *interesting* place to be than twitter. Today, however...

Elon nonchalantly dismissing his drug habit

Does it though? There could be various reasons why he follows these 3 accts. Even if its because he supports / agrees with them, there'll be 1000s who do the same. That might mean theyre all people you'd like to avoid, but doesn't mean they're likely to mow down a group of people in the street.