The way i catch second hand embarrassment so easy 😭 Like bitch I’m an empath the way I see you go through life

Currently getting ready to go out tonight

Need you in me

It’ll be a Wednesday and I’ll be going into this coffee shop. Hear a barista call an oatmilk latte and your name and I’ll look up from my phone and think there’s no chance it’s you— but it is. You’ll say, “Hi”, I’ll say, “hi how are you?”, You’ll say, “How’s your family how’s your sister?” I’ll say—

Sent him a pic of my ass arched up like a cat and he said “I need you in me”

Is it too early to say bestie? I don’t want to scare you

I’m gonna hold your thick veiny 9inch uncut softie when I say this-

Why is everybody acting like this Madonna album is good…

Thank you, Carly Rae Jackson

Even with how much I work I’ve had a blossoming friendship lately that I love so much

just found out Lorde released all the demos from Virgin a few days ago

I was licking that man’s armpit for so fucking long I’m surprised my tongue didn’t fall off

Very much needed day trip 🤠

3rd day without eating and I feel unstoppable

I forgot 28 and 29 existed… why have I never met anyone 28 or 29….

Found one of those Chinese restaurants that are cheap yet overfill your plates so much that the shells don’t close. I can’t wait to gatekeep this

BEST $60 AND 5 HOURS IVE EVER SPENT 😄

Me & my MacBook

Putting Minoxidil under your armpits when you’re asleep my prince

I feel like everyone should pee sitting down. Like hey why not

Changed my brakes!

Called off an 8 hour shift and bought a mikes harder, got Taco Bell and I’m watching drag race. Oh this self-care realism

I just spent $60 on upgrading my old DS

Happy pr*de. I know you celebrate…

I used to draw gir from invader zim so much as a child, you would’ve thought I was autistic

I be like “yea I game” and it’s super monkey ball

Good morning 😁

Just watched obsession… A man’s act of selflessness will always be selfish regardless I DONT GIVE A GAF

I have a standing rivalry with Kim Petras but my friend showed me this song on the way to weho and mountains might have moved

In Thailand and amazed by the privacy in their public bathroom stalls

20 hour flight and I FORGOT MY FUCKING IPAD 💔💔💔

Walked into a bar because I saw a pool table and it ended up being a bear club

I air this bitch out like a queef!

Why is sour cream always packed on one side of the burrito… and why do I always bite the wrong side first

I need to get into hockey.

In a penthouse full of pornstars and I’m in the kitchen cooking tacos

Okay so turns out I hate living in Hollywood. I would wish this on my worst enemy

Watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower in the dark on my 2014 MacBook Air as god intended

I feel like SpongeBob is Mexican

Like for a tbh

Currently moving to hollyweird #derp

At a coffee shop taking a picture of my butterscotch coffee and chipotle sandwich with my iPad and work phone. I can breathe again.

So this happened today 😏😏

1st round of moving!! AAHHHHH

I’m in charge of the turkey this year and I can’t find the baster. I’m just gonna use my douche at this point

King fact: I have 9 years of playlists where every cover is a graffitied Manny from Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Lorde in Solar Power:

I just put in my two weeks notice at my minimum wage job because she’s moving me out to Hollywood with her

I wanna do a bump of coke with iJustine <3

LUX by ROSALÍA and MAGDALENE by FKA twigs are like the cousins that never see each other until thanksgiving