Not a problem. Just have Trump’s doctor weigh them.

Question: Does this make Cher and Julie Andrews machatunim? Because if so, that is HUGE.

Not The Onion:

Reporter: Why didn't you notify Japan that you were going to attack Iran? Trump next to the Japanese PM: "Who knows better about surprise than Japan? Why didn't you tell me about Pearl Habour? You believe in surprise I think much more so than us."

Well that’s an oopsie.

Not NYTimes Pitchbot:

“Concerns”

I bet JD’s couch will now be suing her for alienation of affection.

Did you know....

Am considering volunteering for the Danish army.

We need a lot more information. Did he say: “WHY are you gay?” or “Why ARE you gay?” or “Why are YOU gay?” or “Why? Are you GAY?”

Not NYTimes Pitchbot:

I’m thinking ABC must have meant they were canceling Jimmy Kimmel just until the end of the Jewish year.

“In fact, some of my best friends are shylocks,” he added.

Is it possible I’ve been wrong my entire life?? IS THIS A JUST UNIVERSE AFTER ALL???

Thunderstorm in NYC this morning. We think this is because God is gay and He’s angry that “Smash: the Musical” is closing.

Because that’s what fascist autocrats do. Next question.

Out of my cold, dead hands!

If those two kids, so in love and with everything going for them, couldn’t make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Can one truly call oneself a Stephen Sondheim fan if one hasn’t sat through the Elizabeth Taylor “A Little Night Music”? I think not.

If even those two kids, with everything going for them, can’t make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Imagine!

And the people who are going to prevent this from turning into World War III are… Pete Hegseth, Marco Rubio, JD Vance and Donald Jessica Trump? We are so all going to die.

I want him to post this pic of himself with all the muscles again, but in the pope hat.

And Trump’s post is being treated as anything other than a smirking inside joke between two friends because…?

Not an undocumented immigrant. Or a drag queen.

I’m just going to leave this here.