I'm not well enough to drink a bottle of red wine tonight but I am going to allow myself an indulgent Chinese food delivery before I start to work on bucking up and planning for the future I have not the one I wanted.

I got excellent feedback but did not get the dream job (I came a close second). It was always a bit of a wildcard option but I still feel extraordinarily sad and will just let myself feel sad until I rediscover my enthusiasm for the original plan.

High anxiety day today is not fun 😮‍💨 Waiting to be put out of my misery re: dream job so I can get to the business of being Very Sad for a while and then move on. Can't concentrate on anything much. Thank heck for beta blockers. Errrrrrrrrrrrh.

I haven’t heard about the Dream Job yet and so have (sensibly I think!!) decided I did NOT get it and am making an enormous bowl of sad person pasta and having a bath, not at the same time. The good news is that I really do think my tonsils have turned a corner at last 🙏🏻

My tonsils are deswelling for the first time in two weeks. Penicillin is amazing 🥹

Am at last furnished with antibiotics and an anaesthetic spray 🙏🏻 I now have separate timers for when I can eat, when to take penicillin, and when to take paracetamol and nurofen 🥲 I’m going to need a lot of vitamin c and salads and natural yoghurt after this.

It’s been 15 days of swollen tonsils now and it’s all starting to look a bit bacterial after all so I’m in town awaiting another pharmacy appointment. I’m getting a bit miserable about it now tbh! I’m not sure this two week solid regime of paracetamol and nurofen is very good for me 🥲

I’d say the interview was 95% really positive and successful (if a bit gruelling). It’s out of my hands now and hopefully I will find out by Monday. I am KNACKERED omg 🥲 Thanks for all the good luck!!

I’ve had an enormous & nutritious breakfast, two coffees, one large freshly squeezed orange juice, two cold & flu tablets, two nurofen (for good measure), and a propranolol. Now camping out in a coffee shop 5 mins from the venue. I think I am interview ready (and may need to go to A&E afterwards).

I still have some lingering UGH feelings from this cold/tonsillitis bout BUT I have been awake since 4.30am and am now on a train to Edinburgh for maybe the most important job interview ever. I want it so bad 🥹 I’m fuelled entirely by cold & flu tabs and lucozade pls wish me luck 🙏🏻

One wonders how this wasn’t picked up earlier, really. www.theguardian.com/science/2025...

Pretty sure I just cured the last gasp of my tonsillitis with a grab bag of salt & vinegar Discos.

“In Inuit folklore, the evil spirit Idlirvirissong looks like a clown with a funny nose, but if you laugh at its dance it will slice you open, put your intestines on a plate, and feed them to its dogs.” www.theguardian.com/us-news/comm...

Fix Your Heart or Die: The Startling Empathy of David Lynch

Sharing some of my favourite spicy memes for international women’s day 🧵

There simply isn’t an outerwear option appropriate for this weather.

Last night I spent ages researching the five (!!!) people who’ll make up my interview panel for Dream Edinburgh Job next week to figure out what to slip into my presentation and responses to endear them to me professionally 🕵🏻

Pink lucozade on ice is getting me through this VERY BORING failure of my tonsils to withstand a simple cold.

I should offer all these pushy ‘meet now?’ dudes on Fab with their hotel rooms a visit complete with tonsillitis and plenty of smooching.

I feel awful and am bored of being ill.

Much to my shock and awe, the five separate online calculators were correct and my bra size is VERY different. I feel like I’m allowed to buy more since most of my existing ones don’t fit properly now 👉🏻👈🏻

As a rampant dater I love this advice (and am eagerly awaiting pt2). Bit radical, but, you know what works on me? Curiosity, flattery, kindness, respect. And filth, before -too- long.

Bad news: my tonsils have the ‘itis 👎🏻 Good news: I have been invited to interview for the dream Edinburgh job 👍🏻 Now begins Operation Recover From The Itis.

Honestly you can’t flipping move for doms on the apps these days. Whatever happened to straight up sluttery.

There’s a KK/Wax mixer event I could feasibly go to in April but all their advertising features super young/fit/cool people and I can’t help but feel this is done mindfully despite all their talk of inclusivity and wotnot 🤔

Happy Pancake Day! I feel rough as a musteloidea’s bum and am off work but I absolutely will eat pancakes I can barely taste. 🥞

Just joined a new cheeky app and within a few hours got a message from someone that says “long time no see 😘 “and I’m scared to look.

Had a cheeky little pancake day practice session this evening.

Apparently today is INTERNATIONAL THREESOME DAY and whaddya know, we just made arrangements for a long-awaited threesome later this month. #seasonal

I was very happy to discover a full playlist of covers of Willow’s Song on Spotify today. I love how innocently and beautifully filthy it is (which makes sense in the context ofc). “How a maid can milk a bull, and every stroke a bucketful” 🤌🏻 youtu.be/y2kpUdfULuQ?...

It is PANCAKE DAY TOMORROW.

Today’s a good one. www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Lol at this lad on Fab, who lives in the second fanciest city centre neighbourhood where I live, asking me to send him my Fab videos on Telegram because he doesn’t want to spend a fiver on site supporter.

I still feel ROUGH but I now have a very pleasing moderately sized solo meet queue on Fab, and a short queue for MFM meets. Once I’m off the strepsils and ginger tea I am getting into some FILTH.

Have developed a pretty sexy Kathleen Turner husk but sadly am in no condition to exploit it. Boo.

My debauched weekend plans have been torn asunder by a proper good old fashioned horrible cold 😭 All that fun swapped for lemsip and lucozade.

Have been extremely invigorated tonight by friends, beer, and The Wicker Man on the big screen 🙌🏻

I don't know why the Guardian has written an article about my weekend plans. www.theguardian.com/environment/...

You can't tell me that Irene Cara singing 'I can ride your heart til it breaks' isn't absolutely filthy.

UGHHHH I have a discount code for an online lingerie brand and five separate online calculators have told me the same result so I'm just doing it. I will try them on with an impeccably clean body and can return them if I need to.

Bra sizing is truly a dark and enigmatic art. Having lost some weight this year, I've spent 30 mins this morning grappling with a measuring tape and have decided I need to go into town and try them on because I simply don't believe what these websites are telling me about my boobs.

Had an errand in town today and Yo Sushi cashback on offer, so I treated myself for dinner. I was sat next to a very nice Japanese businessman who got the bottomless belt deal (£29.95) and by the time I was leaving was on his 10th dish from the belt and going strong.

(Rear of) #ThighThursday

Oh I'm sad about this. www.theguardian.com/film/2025/fe...

In my vulnerable, pre-coffee state this morning on the way into work I bought coffee BEANS instead of GROUND and I was absolutely devastated when I arrived in the office. Is this my sign to buy a grinder?

I asked my amoureux if he'd be up for me organising another group session and he asked how many guys I was thinking of and I said "purely from an organisational point of view (and the structural integrity of my rental property bed) I think one additional body is fine for now".

Having a cheeky and flirtatious personality has its perks. The man on the deli stand gave me a wink and some free falafel today.

I went to see Ghost Stories at the theatre tonight and it was VERY fun and good but perhaps not if you have a weak bladder or heart (the film is also excellent).

I'm having sad and icky and frustrating feelings about a work thing I can't do anything about and it's super crap. I feel like I'm gonna hurl with the anxiety which is very annoying as I'm meant to be going to a show this evening. I hope a propro and a nap and a hot shower will sort me out 🙏🏻

Abysmal crossword day today. I gave up. Is there an anxiety/crossword ability correlation 😭