okay. learning that i can stomach going to the gym here without my brain twisting in a knot but only when i am leaving work and feel confident at a baseline. i cannot trick myself on the weekend. i have spent the past hour ready to leave and have made myself nauseous trying to spin the wheels.

i am like artistically hungover from the sheer joy i felt sinking on the titanic in vr chat last night. nothing has ever felt like that before. it was so realistic. someone probably did clip through the floor and drown in a hallway like i did.

did you know that there is a vr chat world that is just a realistic simulation of the rms titanic sinking.

rotating the cube of bothering to download champions. and i rotated a profoundly ugly cube.

learning that my system has gotten so sensitive to caffeine i cannot even have a little bit of chocolate after 8:00 PM... life is hell... but at least i wrote an entire song through my insomnia... so that's good...

Me and My Husband (2026)

they are threatening to rework my best friend lifeweaver in overwatch and by heavens above if they mean actual rework instead of quality of life and bug fixes i am going to be so sad. do not take petal platform away from me. she is my best friend. she is the sister i never had. she's really buggy.

sometimes infinity nikki items really make me stop what i'm doing and wonder. what the world is going on.

my notes app is my sacred grove where i write all of my song lyrics and it is also where i find things like this and just have to hope it wasn't too important.

hey do you know what tonight is.

okay i definitely need to actually watch more tutorials about music production because there is still so much i do not know but every single person on youtube who makes videos about music production is. how do i say this politely. kind of annoying.

i am fascinated by overwatch players because sierra seems really fun as an addition to the long range precision DPS roster and yet people are acting like projectiles tracking to a target after you hit a precision skillshot is... more annoying than a precision skillshots that kill you instantly?

i have a confession for you all i have been pronouncing the word "antipope" like "calliope" for the past three years and i can't really stop it from happening anymore.

i also enjoy talking about it even if it's a little self-incriminating because... okay, like, when i see someone's original character who is a beefcake i am left to wonder. what is their routine. this is a lifestyle choice that they actively pursues. what does it mean to them. why do they like it.

i am on a bizarre path where. to be clear. i do still have the worm in my brain produced by some cocktail of homosexual fixations that makes me want beautiful muscles. but i have only become productively friends with that worm by raising it on my own terms. i must control the the worm.

i hate that part of this realization was that i need to buy new gym shoes and after consulting more experienced lifters and learning i can kind of wear whatever i want i spent an hour browsing vintage wrestling & boxing boots before realizing i am on another planet of gay insanity.

despite everything. some bizarre tranquility has begun to set into my mind at the gym. because i remembered on an esoteric level my masculinity is just a different breed than 99% of the other men here. i feel my dignity back in my chest and it's so lovely.

i feel genuinely so uplifted by the small but devoted portion of the vocal synth community that wants to watch old men kiss. it's like a separate evolutionary branch of the fandom and it's only for people who like asterian, frimomen, remmant, and hxvoc. it's awesome in here. they're all kissing.

i feel like this ad campaign might be more threatening than they intended.

"splendid turning disco night" ft. HXVOC & sf-a2 miki is out now? it's splendid turning disco night? youtu.be/AYQBHVfQ06I?...

what was the taste and texture of this. was it... flesh?

i hate that some of my new favorite lyrics i've ever written are in this song. i didn't need to go this hard. but i am incapable of serving less.

if you need to understand what happened it's that i maybe couldn't sleep and watched splendid turn on the pedestal for about five minutes before deciding it was splendid turning disco night and i needed an excuse to publish music that i couldn't take seriously and be a perfectionist about.

"splendid turning disco night" ft. HXVOC & sf-a2 miki is out now? it's splendid turning disco night? youtu.be/AYQBHVfQ06I?...

i accidentally wrote a full version of splendid turning disco night so that will be up after i film more footage of splendid turning in various locations.

i might have been acting under the influence of dark forces last night.

"SPLENDID TURNING DISCO NIGHT" ft. sf-a2 miki & hxvoc

"SPLENDID TURNING DISCO NIGHT" ft. sf-a2 miki & hxvoc

i am starting to suspect that the santa ana winds are in fact making me physically ill so that is i guess a part of living here that i will need to figure out... i am built for cold and wet... there's so much i am unprepared for.

my bald!

i'm discovering i have a unique and terrifying power of naming neopets. i can come up with such beautiful neopets names that are not taken.

the new overwatch mode is bugged so if you change which winston you are playing after your winston dies you escape samsara and cannot respawn. you're winston. and you're gone.

still love this panel.

i have watched the video of olaf from frozen dying more times than i would like to admit. please enjoy this technical presentation of their olaf research. youtu.be/d-WdUYdOdHY?...

i do have to make sure everyone sees splendid fall down a well.

that said i think it's really funny that some people do take astrology in such a way that you can be assigned toxic at birth.

thinking about how scary astrology people are this morning... that desire to categorize and prescribe people's identities is so scary.

it is mostly funny that it is a kanto heavy game and shellder and cloyster were not invited. though i understand why jynx was not invited.

this game still has a really distinct childlike specialness unlike anything else. i am just forced to drop it a letter grade because it has no fish. magikarp is the only fish. i am genuinely convinced underwater building is being saved for DLC or something.

a major issue i am having with pokopia is that i love that pokemon have a trade specialty but none of them have like. specialized inventories. so it's hard to decorate their space or assign meaning to it when one day blastoise is selling an air conditioner and the next a pile of loose seaweed.

splendid's most recent contributions to society.

i am setting the days since infinity nikki involved yuri with a woman who has turned into a giant animal counter back to zero.

my bizarre niche of vocal synth yaoi for men over thirty that i will i swear continue to populate as soon as work calms down again.

on this day i will reiterate hxvoc is my beautiful man and inexplicable favorite vocal synth ever who did completely change what songs i let myself write. even if none of you have heard most of them because i got very busy. and even if his anniversary outfit is. i have questions about it.

once more considering my favorite tooltip of all time.

well... i carved out my schedule to come to the scary west hollywood gym at the reported least crowded time... and my autism is still sending me every imaginable overstimulation distress signal. and also the music still sucks.

well they good news is they're giving us a gun in infinity nikki this month.

now did everyone's school system really focus on the boston molasses flood or was that just a massachusetts special.

i have decided to approach my town with a sort of. mystery dungeon philosophy. pokemon would not mimic the civilizations of man. they would build civilizations like warrior cats.

i ended up at a humble marshall's today waiting for my prescription and of course found the only things in the entire mens section made out of linen instead of disgusting 4-way stretch synthetics so now the sun can't kill me anymore and my butt can look ridiculously good per usual.