the way I desperately need my boobs to deflate once I stop breastfeeding but actually feel like I'm going to be one of those cursed individuals who have massive titties forever

that consumer report about lead in protein powder is a huge win for the girls who have systematically refused to give a shit about their protein intake

the Victoria's Secret fashion show was just wretched this year. everything looked polyester party city tacky cheap even the tans were second rate. what are we doing to our beautiful queens

archiveofourown.org/works/705039... slaps so hard

redshirting aka delaying school for an extra year is so popular rn for the same reason h1b visas are getting pushback. because Americans are afraid their boys are stupid. sorry I'm Vivek now

just one of those weekends where you wonder: how is everyone a runner except for me

failed miserably at this per usual, but please tell me your current food mind place

"maybe you'll finally know who you want to be / a grown woman in a baby tee" had been stuck in my head all summer

I've decided I can't have Trump go out while in office because every JD V tweet makes me want to die. every irritating and ugly trait of any man approx my age compiled into one ugly little bitch

we're at a fancy hotel. the first 5 of 10 total floors of the incredibly narrow and perilous parking lot are valet only. every time we go in there, I think - if I were driving, I would be crying and sitting still. my husband whips through like it's nothing. I'm so glad to be a passenger princess

supporting men's issues tonight (having separate chats with my cousin and sister in law's bf about the bill simmons-ryen russillo break-up)

they suck so bad

my neighbor must think I'm a Luddite. when he went rhapsodical about a future where AI lets everyone direct their own version of their favorite books, I was like, what that sounds like is ass

it's been 84 years and I just suddenly had a new reylo idea - not one I've thought about 100 times and not actualized but brand new 2 my brain- and the thing is I don't even think it's good

my micro interest of the day is a dude at nytcooking stealing Jeni's ice cream recipe and pretending he developed it

I have something mean to say but since this dumb shit site doesn't have group dms, I can't say it

literally the most annoying people on Instagram are the ones who repost random Taylor content like she's their sister

someone gave us a baby yoda toy that has started malfunctioning. it now won't stop making its series of beeps and boops and there's no way to open it or turn it off. we've stuffed it in a bag in the garage to slowly perish. it haunts us with its digitized cries of anguish...

canonically accurate reylo if @kalx58.bsky.social was canon

romance is sending my lawyer husband reddit threads about questionable legal practices taken by assorted shitass husbands

unfortunately my mind said gender swap reylo

the way this is SO funny to me and I will now have to explain TLH and all the related details to my husband so he knows why I'll be woman laughing into her salad for the foreseeable future at B&N

this is genuinely one of the funniest fucking things i've ever seen. casting director who i refuse to look up, just know that i think you are a grade a comedian and star

my husband's friend's 9 year old repeatedly told my 1.5 year old he's annoying because he repeats himself a lot when he talks. tell me why it hurt my feelings a lot. he's pretty advanced for his age and he gets excited lol 😢

bad news: my mother-in-law made an awful mac salad for a party this weekend worse news: she brought over leftovers for us today lol. the look my husband and I gave each other to say "not it"...

ok question. I don't usually get nachos out and about so I'm perhaps late to this issue but when tf did a plate of nachos become 14+ dollars

lorde album good. just learned she broke up her producer's relationship again for this album. yk what fair enough

underdiscussed aspect of bezos wedding is how botched and puffy ivanka trump looks now

it was bound to happen someday and today it did: my toddler put a plastic menchies spoon through the air conditioning grate

hitting play on new haim

just watched Kylie Jenner's latest Instagram post and if my boobs looked like that (bad), I simply would not discuss my boob recipe on the internet

coming up with a theory about how the most annoying people are a quarter non-white

my only skill is finding the best 3-song run on any album

another one for my "ben lives to bully his coworker finn about his throuple with poe and rose" universe

my old baby/young toddler learned what a boob was this week. he's also really into counting. so this morning he told me he was "tempted by two boobs" 😞

never felt so washed as we were today walking through a hip neighborhood and having to eschew our first three choices of restaurant because they were 21+. since when is that a thing for non-bars? gtfo

Trump has revoked guidance that directed hospitals to provide emergency abortions to women when necessary to stabilize their medical condition — eg when women are experiencing medical emergencies and need abortion to prevent organ loss or severe hemorrhaging, among other serious complications

once again sharing timeline content with my husband

I have so many thoughts every time I get fed another morsel from Lindsay Lohan's Elle interview this morning

I pumped milk early in postpartum and stopped when I went back to work bc it felt stressful. I spent so much effort on it out of fear I would dry up early. he's almost 1.5 now and I wanted to use it to make smoothies.

the other app is having endless discourse about male hair loss. I'm ngl I was horrified when my male friends all of a sudden had wretched balding (though it was not in their 20s like everyone is claiming? definitely late 30s)

quite rudely, every time I see that Morgan Wallen album concert in passing, I think it's Pedro Pascal?

not me being added to a family group chat about some fuckery. much to NOT think about, frankly

rip to me watching star wars productions. loved u andor

just saw a thrift haul featuring "vintage charlotte russe" lmao what's next wet seal

decided to indulge for mother's day and try the skinceuticals ce ferulic. I know it's expensive but I didn't think about exact cost esp after taxes. the lady at blue mercury rang me up and I couldn't stop myself from saying "omg that's expensive" lmao everything is embarrassing.mp3

thehoneydoll's newish unsafe sex fic is so important. literally thought "hell yes" multiple times while reading at 2 am this morning

why tf doesn't this app have group chat

buddy hield because of everything he's been through (being ass) and he's still singing

someday my kid will say "yellow and blue" instead of "lello bue" and that thought makes me sad lol