my real life friend referencing gaylor in the wild... why has the omnipresence of taylor fandom given normies so much access to fringe conspiracies

anyway my team by marriage made it through 🇳🇴 off to lose the next!

I don't really want the lebron experience to come to me. but now we look like losers if we don't get him

we are potty training this weekend and my child just said "I like peeing from my penis and pooping from my butt" lmao

I go on the same "this is slop" to "this is slop... and a bop" journey with every katseye song, to my seemingly neverending shame

kind of can't believe swift/kelce wedding is (allegedly) happening at MSG... they can't possibly be that boring

I somehow follow too many people who have friends and family who do beautiful destination weddings. I know people complain that destination weddings are unfun with a child, but my kid loves to travel so invite me please

at my son's pre-preschool graduation (lol), they wrote happy graduation to the class of 2042 on the board and my husband's soul left his body

missives from Scandinavia: the paper straw epidemic is still extremely strong here

lol saw how Rogan is being considered for 60 Minutes lol there is no way we can ever fix our institutions

my child is like a g rated version of the cronenberg movie crash. while he loves automotives generally, it's automotive crashes specifically that move him. last night he spent 30 straight minutes creating stories about various car crashes until he fell asleep. why

half listening to a video about building healthy habits as a mom while I drink the TJ's sparkling lychee juice and eat a whole passion fruit tart for my working desk lunch

I had an idea for a father's day gift and I definitely made head left slightly too large compared to head right (but honestly not that off...) HOWEVER I have now entered the danger zone and am questioning my entire life's worth of choices

I've been listening to Bill Simmons podcast for years, meaning I've been exposed to his daughter's occasional appearances for years. it's amazing to me stupid people's interests are rn. wdyk you love and watch Olivia Jade's content because she puts out no personality just aesthetics. lol??

a real Thing I've noticed is that nearly all new slang is very easy to parse because it's just normal words used normally. very good for those of us who are aging and lazy but still want to be conversant in internet

should I be using the sky for guidance or the 70% chance of thunderstorms in the next hour per weatherdotcom

gracie abrams putting out a song called hit the wall where she uses some definition of hit the wall that completely misaligns with the popular lexicon is so her

this app could never

one way I'm Not Like Other Moms is idk why people are always talking about designated puke bowls. this is part luck that my kid has puked 2x ever but also how are you prepared for the idea of puke. like I myself have never known I'm going to puke otherwise I would simply not do a puke inducing thing

fyi I don't know if all TJs are doing this but ours is clearing up space by giving away as many Easter sweets as you want for free

my 2 year old looking admiringly at teenagers in the park: wow. they don't even need their mommies here

and last but not least: I will not fall for the giant sk8terboi jorts propaganda this summer. as if I don't have enough problems!

btw random thought o'clock but it's interesting (and kind of terrible) that fan-directed comic con has dwindled to nothingness, culturally speaking, and movie news is simply rolling out of investor-focused cinema con

having a toddler has made me realize how insidious the wellness culture idea is that a smoothie HAS to be a conveyer for healthy add-ins - collagen, kale, and the like - instead of yk... a yummy drink

as a short torsoed woman of a certain age, I think we as a society have lost the art of the pretty fitted top that doesn't need to be tucked in. everything is a shapeless box that is either super cropped or has 3" too much length

the real housewives universe is a psyop to destroy the minds of america's women

huge L for the "twitter > bluesky" community as the former has been going on an anti-anal or oral trip for DAYS now

"attorneys general" is one of the worst choices in the English language

this is really very good. an author with excellent tone archiveofourown.org/works/801455...

I've been watching bits of the pitt while also hard mainlining er the last two weeks and we must be in a crisis cause the acting is comparatively dreadful. bring back the 90s

I'm now so violently old that one of my best friends from high school is posting long emoji-laden posts about vibe coding on linkedin

really enjoying the melissa clark carrot muffins with marmalade. cut the sugar amount in half as I used a very sweet random mango yuzu jam I have. it has an interestingly almost corn muffin taste/texture? cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1027...

live listening to the harry styles album and the second song (which is the next single??) is so bad that I was like ?????? and then the third song is pretty amazing. very bizarre vibes atm

finally finished Bridgerton. the Benedict and Sophie actors are elite. super warm, genuine, and charming faces. it's absurd that they brought Anthony back to be a dbag and Kate to deliver some of the most awkward dialogue available. they really ought to just combine Eloise and Francesca's seasons

one thing about overhearing conversation between random men aged approx 20-30: they love casually using the r word

I listen to podcasts at 1.2x but I don't want my child to be a freak like me, so when I play audiobooks for him in the car, I put them back at their actual speed. however when it's still on 1x and my own podcast starts back up, it feels disgusting, like being in quicksand

would love to know what's going on in the life of the person who had a million wild stickers on the back of their truck and one dead center that read "THIS TOYOTA FUCKS"

it's joever

we've been coming to this realization since my child turned 2... yes he can talk a lot but his brain is literally vehicles, dinosaurs, and fruits with a side of whatever stories we tell him

listen to a WSJ pod about how anthropic as the wokest AI company has so many wonderful morals but also just so happened to enter into huge contracts with palantir and the military. l o l

this is the kind of stuff I'm dropping in my groupchats

I ride extremely hard for the first half the charli wuthering heights album and it's crazy how little I care about the last ~4 songs, even the one with sky!

my toddler stopped us and said "can we please go to the macaron store? I need them" and pointed down the correct street, in case we had any doubt we were raising a bourgeois child

my son has decided he loves one man above all else: Darth Vader

peak toddler boy mom things happening here

sad :( he was the same age as my cousin who passed from cancer in November. too young

spent five minutes on the Bridgerton ao3 and found what is assuredly the most deranged and depraved fic in the joint. I fear this is my only talent

once again clicked an influencer's affiliate link to her cardigan and it was $500

yea exactly...

had the dumbest reylo crack idea last night