[ Batman: Dark Patterns (2024) #7 ]

That's what I thought. 𝘐𝘧 something like that does happen, you know better than to do that. You'll call. Are we clear?

Sigh.

You 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 you're not supposed to handle Croc—or anyone in this city for that matter—in that way. That's your first mistake. Second, don't you dare enable him to lie. Third, your salary won't cover even a half of damage.

You wouldn't let Tim sell it. You wouldn't do that to yourself.

I'm not mad. Only slightly disappointed. At you both. A little more at him. Thank you, Robin.

No more cheese.

You are. Do share, though. I'll point out the horrible part. Think of it as a practice.

There we go. He is very bad at lying and I appreciate your honesty, son. You will help me fix it.

Where. When. How much damage did you cause. Why did you even drive Batmobile to begin with. Where is Robin.

... Did you now.

Slade.

// ME WHEN SPOOKY

I'm sure nothing bad happened.

// okay. relaxing until i fall asleep. see you nerds later

We are very good work friends. I'll tell Alfred that you want some sandwiches.

Alfred.

NOT MY ACCOUNTANT, OLIVER.

Oliver, quit pestering him.

... Dinner, Robin. What do you want for dinner before Alfred makes cucumber sandwiches.

Very well. I'll see you on Thursday, Steve.

Steve? Is the cheese there yet?

We are good friends at work, Robin. What do you want for dinner tonight.

God help me.

// ABSOLUTE KAL CRACKING ME UP

... ...... ......... What do you want for dinner tonight.

𝘓𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘦. Psssh. [ He secretly finds it amusing, fighting back the smile on his face. ] While your reasoning is... well thought of, there are still risks. If I do that, there's a potential for me to be in danger. —

Youngest.

Not literally. I'm... talking to Dick. That's all.

Nobody's putting him anywhere else. He's safe here.

No, no— I'm fine. At home. Everything's fine.

I am not done fighting for my life, it seems.

[ Another defeated sigh. Longer and heavier. He has to see this through or his son would keep pestering him... ] The second option sounds more likely... [ Spoken very quietly. ] Yes, Dick. I'll think about it really hard.

♇ᡣ𐭩 A CHARACTER WRITTEN IN A MIRROR IMAGE OF #𝓟𝓵𝓾𝓽𝓸 A minor and limitless lewd do not interact account. Will contain dead dove themes such as gore, abuse, self-hate, and other themes not suitable to minors. Mun is 27. Will contain semi-lewd themes; multi-ship.

[ He's supposed to say no, yet the boy has his way to squeeze his heart in his little hands. He sighs, defeated. ] I'll think about it. I can't promise if it'll work, it depends on what Superman has to say about this. —

First of all, those books are required for your grades. I know it's icky, but I hope you've done your homework based on those books too and... [ Trying to think of other things to distract his son... Nothing comes to mind... And he hates that it makes sense. ]

I'm not even paying him with money.

That would be... asking too much of him. Yes, the... attraction would be believable, coming from someone like Bruce Wayne. But, uh, Superman works in Metropolis?

Busy going through his plan for the upcoming week.

💭 Oh... My baby... That's my son...

I'm not some— Wh— ... We can't do that.

... ?

It's Sunday, Clark.

Did something happen?

THAT'S MY ACCOUNTANT.

Alright, let's stop this... It's Sunday...