Me: I hated Blane, but was happy Andie ended up with him because Duckie was a creep with Nice Guy Syndrome. Gen Alpha: Who are you talking about? Did you have a stroke? Me: No, I'm fine. Gen Alpha: Sure, sure. Go take a nap.

Please lend some help to my dear friend. #MutualAid is praxis cis people should be practicing. Yes, even if it's just a buck/quid.

I need it to be March now, thank you.

Not me, writing a critically ambitious essay in the comment section of a beauty influencer's YouTube video.

Bought a gallon of milk for $3.19 today, and aged about twenty years in the middle of Kroger, complaining that in my day, milk was cheaper.

I don't think there's a single trans Siberian in that orchestra.

Them: How did Germany de-Nazify so quickly after World War II? Me: They didn't. Next question.

The only line from Hamilton I will endorse is King George III singing, "Oceans rise, empires fall..." Is Lin Manuel Miranda referring to the British Empire? Probably. But it's very apropos as I watch the American Empire crumble around me in slow motion.

Me: Parasocial relationships with internet personalities can be deeply problematic. Also me, after writing an essay comment on a video by one of my favourite beauty YouTubers: They liked my comment and responded! I am validated! (It's definitely the isolation due to disability at work here.)

Having a one-sided ontological scream fest at my television because some YouTube channel is talking shit.

I'm an Elder Millennial who never got to have galaxy leggings and I want a pair still.

Hey, compulsive shoppers and shopping addicts: you can get through the lengthened Black Friday/Cyber Monday period without blowing all your money! Truly! I have faith in you. You can do this, and I'm here for you. Love, someome who used to shove lipsticks in the hole in their chest.

People love to shit on the humanities but want BookTok, video games, and answers to life's great questions. Quit debasing my Master's in English and then turn around to ask me to look at your resumé or explain Hamlet. You need art and philosophy in your life, I promise you.

Watching a YouTube video in which the influencer is reccing like fifty items - all available on Amazon. As a disabled broke person who often can't get out to the store, I'm obligated to use Amazon for necessities, but this whole video screams overconsumption and landfill food.

Me, posting in a group or forum: My disability makes X hard. Does anyone have any suggestions that don't involve A, B, or C? Ableds in the group: Have you tried A, B, or C? Just try harder!

Me yelling ONE OF US ONE OF US while watching Jeopardy.

I just love when monied ableds tell me what to do about my disability or finances. /s

I literally just had my yearly check-in and recertification in October. I am disabled, can't work, and am on SSI. I can't afford my medically mandated diet without SNAP, and reapplying is a lot of work, which is made harder by my disability and poor health. This is maddening.

Went outside in 43 degree (6 Celcius) weather in a hoodie, shorts, and flip flops. It felt great for my POTS, and my neuropathy-ridden feet hate shoes, so it was comfortable. Fall is my favourite season and I'm sucking up as much fall as I can before the long Michigan winter starts.

I heard a youth (in their early twenties) wondering out loud what it'd be like if Canada had cowboys and goddamn, are we failing out American youth when it comes to education. Canada has prairie provinces and many cowfolk. Calgary is crying.

A LAN party is basically a computer orgy. This joke is 20 years too late.

The Edmund Fitzgerald is my Roman empire

Disabled person: *jumps through systemic hoops and crawls through structural minefields, at great personal cost, to achieve something* Reporter: This inspiring disabled person proves that there's no obstacles to a determined disabled person. Me, from my wheelchair, in front of obstacle: WHAT?!

I will not stop Edmund Fitzgerald shitposting until December, because the gales of November came early.

Me, singing: The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the big lake, they called Gitche Gumee.* My neighbours: Please stop! Me: No. *The Chippewa are still around and call Lake Superior "Gichigami." You can thank Longfellow for "Gitche Gumee."

Please help my girl out with some mutual aid! FUND THE DOLLS.

Them: Remember, remember, the 5th of November. Me: Does anyone know where the love of God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours?

A Sephora sale? In this economy?! Influencers touting expensive "must haves" on YouTube and TikTok sure have their finger on the pulse of culture, huh? /s

I guess it's time to finally watch Cabaret.

Gosh the Detroit Lions look hot as fuck in their goth uniforms.

I suppose we should never have become this dependent on companies like Amazon and their giant AWS cumulonimbus cloud thingy. Duh.

Figuring out what to eat the day before a grocery shop, while flaring with POTS and unable to cook, is difficult.

Rome didn't fall in a day. AD 476 is a convenient end point for scholars, but the empire was in decline for decades. I'm sure Romans in AD 450 were denying the fall of Rome and calling everything fine. Why do I mention this? No reason at all.

My friend could use a hand!

Random stranger spotting me with a book: Hey, what are you reading? Me, shoving said book into my purse: What are you, a cop?

When I see the Italian flag, I don't think of Venice or da Vinci, I think of Sbarro, as in the pizza place once found in malls all over the US. This is because I learned about broccoli on pizza after back-to-school shopping before I learned about Italian culture, and possibly all of Italy. Ope.

I assembled a shoe rack yesterday, and one of my cats thinks it's a bunk bed and is currently sleeping on it.

I have really bad news for my young friends: the 1990s were terrible.

I tried typing out "I'm a worrier," and my phone corrected it to "warrior." That is not at all what I meant, phone. I am having a panic attack, not righteous fury.

I hate my tummy growling just as I finish painting my nails. Someone come open the string cheese for me.

My friend needs help getting a car out of the impound lot and then towed and repaired. This is keeping her from getting to and from work and really fucking up her life. Please share, and if you can, donate.

Got my Covid shot! Being chronically ill with many comorbidities meant I qualified for the high dose without argument. There's very few benefits to being this ill, but the accessible parking and Covid booster are nice perks.

There's a big difference between being disabled with money and being an impoverished disabled person, and ableds need to recognize that.

You can pry my jelly shoes from my very shapely feet.

Gen Alpha: What was it like being a young adult in the 2000s? Me: Society was so homophobic/transphobic that when many mainstream men decided to wear eyeliner like goth men had for decades, the media had to come up with a new term for it: guyliner. Gen Alpha: Cringe.

If you're a leftist and complain about having to see so many more mutual aid posts in your feed these days, surprise! You're not actually a leftist.

YouTube ads, repeatedly: Buy a Coach purse! BUY A COACH PURSE. They are so versatile! Great for daily wear! Me: Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch. I was there when it was written Me in 2012, before I went alternative and while I was walking and employed:

It's September 5, and I already have "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald," a song set in Michigan in November, stuck in my head. My body and mind crave autumn.

I miss going to see the softer side of Sears.