A cozy bed #AttractsMeLikeNoOther

We #WentIntoTheForest. I came back out. I sure will miss him.

Friday: Sunny and warm! Saturday: Cold and rainy. Repeat weekly.

#WhenTheRobotChasedMe, I hoped it would make my death quick and painless.

If you ate Skittles from least favorite color to favorite, what order would you do? For me, it's Grape, Lemon, Lime, Orange, and Strawberry.

#ImSloppyWhen I eat pasta

My husband is doing his colonist prep with 900% more drama than I did with mine. It's like the man flu, but involves a lot more potty-pity time.

#RubbingAladdinsLampGotMe nothing but tennis elbow.

#YouDontHaveToUseYour powers of seduction on the average male. They're always hot to go.

Was it petty to close my Southwest credit card? Maybe. Still felt good.

#ItsSurprisingThat anyone thinks that things are going well.

#IWouldLikeToProtest the American inability to enact change through protest. We really need to look to other countries, who actually get things done.

My cats think their house #IsInfestedWith humans!

Southwest airlines just screwed themselves. They billed themselves as a cheaper airline. No frills, but perks like no assigned seats and free checked luggage. That's gone. And today's Jetblue reservation is HALF the price of the Southwest reservation I decided NOT to make.

To remember anatomy in high school biology, I made the mnemonic, "There's a vas deferens between a man and woman." #IsTheDifferenceBetween (I still remember it, so it must have worked!)

#GMTcouldAlsoStandFor Great. More trouble.

#GetOverItOr not. I haven't lived your life, nor walked in your shoes, so it's not my place to tell you what to do.

Show me a badass female character 2-for-1

Such bad hair. #The90sIn3Words

Aaaah! The flashbacks! #The90sIn3Words

#MyMultiplePersonalitiesSay It's somebody else's turn to deal with this crap.

I went to California, and wanted to see the Pacific, but the Pacific didn't want to see me, I guess?

Radioactive (no effort) #ScienceInASongOrMovie

Anything by Atom Ant #ScienceInASongOrMovie

Heart asplode?

See? Gull.

Congrats. You made it even uglier.

#WhosInTheMoodFor vacation? This girl!

I'm heading from Boston to LA tomorrow. Ask me how I feel about the FAA layoffs.

#NeverTellMeNotTo be awkward. It'll just compound the problem.

#IPutThePiecesTogetherBy ignoring the instructions and guessing.

W ho do you think should play the next James Bond?

Movies you've watched more than six times, gifs only

Movies you've watched more than six times, gifs only

#WhatMakesMeComfy all the pillows

#WhatMakesMeComfy oversized sweatshirts

#IllBlowTheWhistle, you blow the horn.

#WhenYoureFlirtingWithDisaster Try this...

#WhenYoureFlirtingWithDisaster make sure you flutter your eyelashes.

#IDontCopyBut that's what makes me an original, one-of-a-kind, weirdo.

Dental Dam, I Wish I Was Your Lover #SongsForASexualHealthClinic

Wicked James #BoysNameAMovieSongBookTVShow

Pest Control #OddJobsInSpace

Smoking #IsARealTurnOff

You ever want to ask the person you love most what the hell is wrong with them? My husband did this. To our bed. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Block them. Even in real life, if necessary. #WaysToDealWithToxicPeople

#ForgiveMeButYouShould probably get the hell out.

What About Bobtail? #EquestrianMovies

There's Something About Mare #EquestrianMovies