Just the way you are #DonaldTrump #MAGA #LBGTQ #TransRights #Transgender #Hypocrisy #Diversity

Somebody didn't read his Bible carefully. (Matthew 7:21-23) #DonaldTrump #MAGA #Christianity #ChristianRight #Jesus

#MAGA #DonaldTrump #ChristianRIght #Prayer

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by the Immigrant Refugee Fund, a ICE Dodge to syphon more taxpayer money toward a whiter America.

Poor Dave worked the shit job at a shit animation studio, tweening other cartoonist’s images while the bosses slapped those guys’ shoulders. He complained. For the 500th time this week. The art director erased him and replaced him with a goddamned obnoxious daffy duck. #TwtStory

Hop, hop, hippy hop. The furry rabbit hopped in the tall green grass, ducking behind trees to scout for the fewocious hunter. Stop. Chew a carrot, check for the hunter. He hop hopped to his lair and reached inside. The hunter emerged with a shotgun. “What’s up, Doc?” #TwtStory

Bubba stumbled into the new bar on Straight Street three sheets to the wind and two cases under. He took one look at the clientele and belched. “This bar’s full of Tinkerbells!” When the pixie dust cleared nothing remained by a cockroach and a dozen pissed-off fairies. #TwtStory

Sharon hated it when people referenced big ears since hers were enormous. Just this morning her kids complained that her genes had given them ears the size of Dumbo the elephant. Even more than ear comments, Sharon hated confrontation. So she flapped hers and flew away. #TwtStory

Susan surprised Bob when he referred to her resting bitch face. “Better than your resting prick face.” Bob couldn’t believe her gall until he looked in the mirror in the mens’ room and saw his nose had grown an extra ten inches while he was staring at Susan’s boobs. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Animated fiction

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 22: Build an audience for your fiction. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag #TwtStory #AmWriting #writers#write#write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

#DonaldTrump #Immigration #StatueOfLiberty #Compassion

And soon it will be only you can clean roads, and only you can educate yourself. #DonaldTrump #MAGA #5ationalForests #ForestService

#ChristianRight #DonaldTrump #MAGA #evangelicalRight #Rededicate250 #Jesus #Politics medium.com/backyard-the...

#NativeAmericanPride #Immigration #DonaldTrump

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Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by the alien implants inside my brain at no extra cost to me.

Tim raised a hydroponic marijuana farm for his 4-H project. It didn't earn credit, but launched his career after his release from prison.

The players needed to pass Mrs. Smith's exam to qualify for league play so they stole her answers. They broke in the wrong room, which explains their 0-7 record.

Bobby built a full scale 3D computer model of the Louvre for his art final which earned him a C+ for the class but full scale nerd honors with his fellow students.

Brad had the complete answers to Ms. Summer's chef midterm. He didn't know she left them out for idiots like Brad to cheat from every year.

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Past Life Discount Warehouse. Drop by for our 2-4-1 special on past lives from Atlantis, outfits slightly soggy. Offer good until the end of the month.

Mr. Bond, the band director, learned why Oscar volunteered to be equipment manager when he caught him in the closet with the drum major.

Tony couldn't believe they called him a loser. He planned to move out of his mom's house and get work as soon as a major firm offered him a CEO' position.

Sarah didn't know why everyone called her a dumb blonde. After she failed her mid-terms for the fourth time, she died her hair red .

John didn't know why everyone called him reckless. No matter what happened, he kept up with his insurance payments. Even though they raised his premiums 16 times.

Father of fertility cashes in hugely In-depth reporting in The Haven #FakeNews #DonaldTrump #parenthood #fertility #politics #satire #politicalsatire medium.com/the-haven/dr...

#MAGA #DonaldTrump #Jesus #ChristianRight #Hypocrisy

#MAGA #DonaldTrump #Jesus #ChristianRight #Hypocrisy

How to keep our children Christian. It's easier than you think. #MAGA #Religion #Christianity #Schools #FirstAmendment

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Project 2025. Making America Shit For Real and keeping it that way forever.

Beth Bad was a bestselling cozy mystery writer on Amazon which surprised anyone who read her books. They were terrible. The cats wouldn’t use them as litter. When she died her children discovered she was broke but owned a warehouse filled with her books. Mystery solved. #TwtStory

Sara and Susan debated whether men could be the heroes of cozy mysteries. Susan said yes. Sara said no. ”Men don’t have the domestic skills or attitude. Men aren’t into cozying up to the fire with tea.” Brad entered the room still in drag. “Speak for yourself, sweetie.” #TwtStory

Mrs. Maypole’s book club only read true crime books. When you’re middle-aged housewives, life gets boring. They discussed the crimes and how they were done. They found Jan Smothers murdered in a locked room. June Jameson said, “See, guys? I told you it can be done.” #TwtStory

Mrs. Buttinsky came through when the cops couldn’t solve a case. The murder of Tommy Badboy was no different. She deduced the killer was Mario Buttoli. He swore he was framed. No one believed him. Good thing. Mrs. Buttinsky refused to go to jail for killing that asshole. #TwtStory

Ruby gently laid her rose chintz teapot on the table next to her favorite teacup. She poured lavender rosemary herbal tea into the cup and added a drop of honey. She slowly sipped and keeled over dead. Too bad she never noticed the rat poison on her counter. Rat revenge. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Cozy mysteries

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 10: Generates ideas for longer, publishable stories. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag #TwtStory #AmWriting #writers#write#write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

Doublemint Gumshoe

What were you saying about critical race theory? #DonaldTrump #MAGA #ChristianNationalism #CivilRights #Justice

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Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by a a guy I met in front of the Y in return for a bottle of Annie Green Springs and a pack of American Spirit cigarettes.

When a Nigerian Prince offered to sell Bob full shares in his Nigerian Prince scam, Bob took his offer. For once he could be scammer, not scammed.

Jim knew a sure fire investment when he saw it. Internet Virtual sex toys: 9.99 a minute. His wife knew a reason to leave when he told her.

After helping her Nigerian Prince save his millions by opening an account, Grace offered to marry him for citizenship. She waited patiently his reply. Still waiting.

Just the way you are #DonaldTrump #MAGA #LBGTQ #TransRights #Transgender #Hypocrisy #Diversity

Somebody didn't read his Bible carefully. (Matthew 7:21-23) #DonaldTrump #MAGA #Christianity #ChristianRight #Jesus

#MAGA #DonaldTrump #ChristianRIght #Prayer

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Past Life Discount Warehouse. This month's special: 50% off Wild West gunslingers who failed to find fame. Bullets mot included.

Lucy put out her teapot and best plates for Jeff’s visit. She played “Rain, Rain” on her Echo Dot. She poured tea and asked if he wanted kids. Jeff stormed out. “Who wants pretend tea? Who wants to play with stupid girls?” Mom was right. Boys are afraid of commitment.” #TwtStory