#MAGA #DonaldTrump #Jesus #ChristianRight #Hypocrisy

#MAGA #DonaldTrump #Jesus #ChristianRight #Hypocrisy

How to keep our children Christian. It's easier than you think. #MAGA #Religion #Christianity #Schools #FirstAmendment

How to keep our children Christian. It's easier than you think. #MAGA #Religion #Christianity #Schools #FirstAmendment

Contributed Tweets for @stephens\_pt are provided by Past Life Discount Warehouse. This month's special: 50% off neanderthal past lives. Flea control extra.

Mark told his family he didn’t want to visit grandma for Thanksgiving. “The holiday sucks. What’s there to be thankful for?” His mother said, “If it was up to you, we’d celebrate Ingratitude Day.” Mark thought it was a great idea. Elected President, he made it a holiday. #TwtStory

Big George complained his employees were ungrateful lots. If it wasn’t for him they wouldn’t have jobs. His son said, “Dad, you seized the company in a hostile territory, laid-off half, and cut everyone else’s salaries in half. Be grateful they don’t hire a hit man.” #TwtStory

Susie pestered her parents to buy her a unicorn for her birthday. So her parents shelled out $300 and bought her a rideable unicorn. She rode it all morning but that afternoon she ran outside with her toy shovel. “It’s a fake,” she said. “There’s no pony shit anywhere.” #TwtStory

As the top draft pick, TJ had nothing but contempt for his new team. The manager, his teammates, the club facilities, fans. The backup shortstop said, “If you had to work to make the team, you’d feel different. “If I had to work to make the team, I’d do something else.” #TwtStory

June warned her husband Ted not to buy a new car for their son Brad’s birthday. “He’s 17. He’ll never be grateful. Give him a gift card for online gaming” But Ted didn’t listen, and presented Brad with a new Honda. “Geez, dad, couldn’t you at least spring for a Mustang?” #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Ingratitude

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 10: Generates ideas for longer, publishable stories. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag #TwtStory #AmWriting #writers#write#write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 10: Generates ideas for longer, publishable stories. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag #TwtStory #AmWriting #writers#write#write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

Doublemint Gumshoe

Doublemint Gumshoe

What were you saying about critical race theory? #DonaldTrump #MAGA #ChristianNationalism #CivilRights #Justice

What were you saying about critical race theory? #DonaldTrump #MAGA #ChristianNationalism #CivilRights #Justice

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by hacking into your subconscious, stealing your innermost thoughts and typing them here.

Tom caught the bee in a jar, determined to prove to his children that one little bee is harmless. He failed to notice the hive swarming to the queen's rescue.

George overcooked his gas station burritos on the gas station microwave, which is nothing compared to how the burritos overcooked his bowels.

June spotted the bag in Bob's hand, grease dripping onto his pants. 'I just read the are the number one cause of divorce is husbands bringing home gas station burritos.' Bob his present into the trash.

Ed realized the streets were completely empty. He gasped. Did I miss the Rapture? Then he realized it was another immigration sweep.

Just the way you are #DonaldTrump #MAGA #LBGTQ #TransRights #Transgender #Hypocrisy #Diversity

Somebody didn't read his Bible carefully. (Matthew 7:21-23) #DonaldTrump #MAGA #Christianity #ChristianRight #Jesus

#MAGA #DonaldTrump #ChristianRIght #Prayer

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by former hashtaggers who switched careers after discovering they were being mocked by a Geico commercial.

Jim had nothing but complaints about the hospital. The nurses woke him every hour, but took an hour to answer his call light. “At least you’re not on the 7th floor,” his nurse said. He posted a 1 star review on Yelp. On his next visit, they sent him to the 7th floor. #TwtStory

It had been a busy week at the intensive care ward. Busy week? A busy month. Nurse Betty noticed a call light in room 399. She discovered a skeleton holding a call button. “How long has that light been on?” She asked the tech. He checked. “Oops. Must’ve been the Y2K bug.” #TwtStory

When Bob tried to order from the hospital menu, the staff informed him he was on a heart-strict, renal diet. Nothing on the menu was approved. When he asked what he could eat, they suggested fast food. Not healthy, but the doctors wouldn’t blame them for his relapse. #TwtStory

Buford refused to go to the hospital. “Hospitals will kill you,” he told his wife, friends, family, and every one. When he woke in the hospital after a triple bypass, he begged to be go home. He didn’t die in the hospital. He died waiting in the parking lot for the car #TwtStory

John checked into the emergency room with abdominal pain. The doctor said they needed to remove his intestines. “When I came in with these symptoms last month you said don’t worry.” “This is your second opinion.” Only after surgery did he think about a third opinion. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Hospitals

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 22: Build an audience for your fiction. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag #TwtStory #AmWriting #writers#write#write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

#DonaldTrump #Immigration #StatueOfLiberty #Compassion

And soon it will be only you can clean roads, and only you can educate yourself. #DonaldTrump #MAGA #NationalForests #ForestService

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by media fact checkers desperately seeking employment after media fact check downsizing.

Pastor DS Embler protested the Pride parade with righteous anger. When a homosexual dressed in a policeman’s costume passed, he stepped into the street. “It’s hell in your future, sinner!” That night, when he was busted for drunk driving, he learned it wasn’t a costume. #TwtStory

Timmy Harthead was furious when Mrs. Johnson gave him an F on his report card because he didn’t do his homework. Homework was busy work. He went on strike from 2nd grade. After repeating 2nd grade for the fourth straight year, he realized he may have overreacted. #TwtStory

Coach Quibble stormed on the field when the referee called pass interference. After a royal ass-chewing they replayed the down on the large screen. No question. His safety tackled the receiver before he could catch the ball. Coach blamed the replay on the Mandela effect. #TwtStory

Janet came home after ten hours at work and a two-hour commute to find Bruce in bed with another woman. “I can’t believe you’d cheat on me in my bed and with my best friend Claire.” Bob covered himself with a sheet. “You should believe. The facts speak for themselves.” #TwtStory

When she realized the twins still hadn’t cleaned their rooms, she called them to the carpet. “You two are the most lazy, ungrateful, useless children a mother could have.” Her outrage wouldn’t get them to clean their rooms, but perhaps they’d feel guilty. They didn’t. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Outrage

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 5: Focus your writing skills by communicating only what's essentail. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag #TwtStory #AmWriting #writers#write#write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

#NativeAmericanPride #Immigration #DonaldTrump

#DonaldTrump #politics #immigration #children

Jill vacuumed every corner of her living room. That'll take care of those @Dustpiggies she said. The next day she found the pieces of her vacuum scattered across the room.

The student wrote, 'He tragically grappled with an existential sense of looming dilemma.' Not concise, Rayne said. @RayneHall The Word Loss Diet

'Arghh! I don't know which be more flat in this bar the beer or the people.' The barkeep dropped a schooner next to his elbow. Not a sud in sight. 'Try the 2D draft' @PirateMikeComix

Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are supplied by people who post on Reddit about the Deep State and Dark Web while looking to make cash in their spare time.

Bob's analyst referred him to an incomplete thoughts group. He would have attended except for @BrianRathbone