working is shit but it becomes 1% more fun if you say "clonking" instead of "clocking" in and out. like why are you talking to me when i'm clonked out

overheard coworker talking about her pet and i'm pretty sure i misheard but it sounded like the pet's name was Pliny

My debut book of comics is officially LIVE for PREORDER!

it's snelleting like crazy outside and they're big, like peppercorn size, and i tried eating some that landed on my scarf but i inhaled one and it made me cough a lot. bested by a snellet

song of the day

just got yawn-contagioned from about 30 feet away. new personal record

in my dream i wove my demon boyfriend into a pair of pants (shimmering pale lavender, stretchy but flowing) for easy transport (by me) and i Really thought i was onto something. anyway you can use this premise for your webtoon

i don't think humans need to have this many sinuses. i think things should be smooth and expeditious up there and mucus should slide out like an egg in a nonstick pan

i can't go swimming all the time because YMCA expensive plus i got depression plus im busy. what the fuuuck

go swimming a lot as a kid ➜ get used to going swimming all the time ➜ go insane when you can't swim all the time as an adult don't go swimming enough as a kid ➜ develop a complex about how bad you want to go swimming ➜ go insane when you can't swim all the time as an adult the illusion of choice

today has truly been host to some of history's longest minutes. 2:26 in particular, at least 5-10x as long as normal

lymph vampire who drinks that other fluid from those other vessels

a level of uncertainty...

went to a friend's house one time and he had some rocks lined up on a windowsill and he's like "check that one out" so i picked it up and it was a potato

using a nighttime tooth grinding guard is a great way to always dream about having weird stuff in your mouth

my name is megaloblastic anemia, but i go by megan

misspelling "snippet" as "snipett" ... intriguing ... i may allow it

if you were a dog and your owner hung a battery light from your collar for night walks, would you have the cognitive capacity to think that's dope as fuck

downloaded a pdf of a book and it already has some highlights in it... just like a used book...

getting emotional thinking that it's possible for me to go take a boat tour to see puffins on little islands where puffins live

common mistake. "downside" is the bad aspects of something, whereas "downfall" is that one thing we all want to happen

i heard a bird sing and i might cry

how could i go to an indian restaurant and eat just 1 curry when i could instead go to an indian buffet and eat like 7 curries? it's a no brainer. sorry indian non-buffets

author (watching their reader pick up what they're putting down): yes... YESS reader: (also starts picking up something imaginary which was not in the text at all) author: nOOO WHERE'D THAT COME FROM

boss: why did you go to the bathroom right after getting back from lunch and 25 minutes before break time? me (trying to remember something about "when nature calls"): haha well you know what they say, don't ask for whom the bell tolls

i can be sexy even though my clothes haven't fit me right my whole life. i can be sexy while i pull up my pants before sitting

plus i can still draw, from reference. (not sure what happens between eye and hand.) check out my groundhog's day planner woodchuck

people act like aphantasia is such a big deal. look, my mind's eye doesn't Need to see what i'm thinking about, ok? i just know it's there in my mind. because i thought of it. same with internal narrative. i don't need to spell everything out to myself. i just know.

summer: curse you, my crevices like armpits and such. let skin never touch skin and multiply its disgusting heat winter: thank you my crevices

gonorrhea-causing bacteria is named Neisseria because it gets you in your nice area :(

"viewable," you say

pronouncing macrophage like decoupage... it's not french...

1 morsel of pretzel salt for lunch

my boss treats me like an idiot but she clicks and pulls scroll bars instead of using a scroll wheel and when i mentioned scroll wheel she didn't understand

why manga is better than anime - the art is better - fewer constraints re:pacing - take as much time as you need to absorb/analyze good art, good jokes, confusing lines, etc - breeze through tiresome parts - appreciate good comics design + good monochrome art - it's not an adaptation = unadulterated

my coworker is often mumbling to himself at his desk and i just figured out he's doing voice-to-text texting someone... when he could've been typing silently and then it would've been silent... since he's at work...

rewatching house md lately and has anyone else noticed that dr. house is actually a very sad man? like he's kinda cool but if you look close, he's sad?? they were way ahead of their time with this

also called my reps for the first time. not bc this was the breaking point but bc i finally found out you can leave voicemails and they treat it the same as a call

at least i channeled a bit of my anger about fascism into exercise today

i couldn't do that thing good posters do where they retweet themselves. that's because my posts are actually not good

i love (cute) fishing games and i'm always keeping an eye out for apps but i had the thought that there must be some good ones on steam! and i looked on steam and oh no... there are good ones...! but...! i'm trying not to spend money right now. so why did i look on steam

chewing gum is dangerous bc your jaw hinge is only born with so many opens and closes and you need to make sure to use them for talking and eating

i put sunscreen on my face every day but almost never on my ears. wait for my wrinkly-ass ears in 30 years

heard coworker say, "it doesn't look like it did much when it burst..." so it burst, huh. (i don't know what they're talking about)

not enough people know that if you say "ergs" in a british accent in place of the word "eggs," it sounds like the word "eggs" but like slightly off in order to irk and mystify those around you

(picking carrots) how will i ever get all of these home 😫 and this one is shaped weird 😫 ~what i was trying to post on bluesky in my dream

exclaimed "yoink!" upon seizing... an opportunity 🤔