A fun game to play with this administration is to simply reverse their statements to elicit the truth. (Hegseth: "We did start this war but under President Trump we're not finishing it") It works every time.

Thomas Bangalter did a live DJ set in Paris and I was stuck in America living under another Trump Administration.

The only purple revolution I support is the one named after the color of their corpses.

Watching the Swifties awaken to class consciousness and the fundamental truth that all billionaires are evil, no exceptions.

Someone needs to start a parody account for Karoline Leavitt's cross necklace. That wretched piece of mall jewelry needs to share its perspective with the world.

Dead or deported. I don't care which, but that nazi fuck needs to go.

I guess it’s time to start killing billionaires.

Welp. That's it. TikTok is gone. It slowly got glitchy over the last hour. Likes and favorites stopped working. Profile pics disappeared. And then it all just... ended.

This last day of TikTok has quietly, deeply, and beautifully been the most intimate mass culture event in the history of the American experiment.

Gotta admit, Biden giving George Soros the Presidential Medal of Freedom on the eve of Trump’s second presidency is some expert level trolling.

I love that the Cybertruck is even shitty at being a car bomb.

Jimmy Carter will be laid to rest, but the memorial will be for the American experiment, or at least those few parts of it that were decent and noble. I suppose there's hope. Hope for change, hope for justice, and hope for another very specific Presidential funeral.

You'll never convince me that Jessica Tisch isn't Kenneth from 30 Rock in a wig. Also, it has been an absolute pleasure to watch the NYPD be led around by such an incompetent fraction of a human being.

In the spirit of forward thinking, how do we arrange crowdfunding for the legal expenses of the *next* folk hero who aces a shitbag CEO?

To the snitch who tipped off the cops in Pennsylvania, may your name become public, and may you live the rest of your life looking over your shoulder.

Just a friendly reminder that we can always choke you by those pearls you’re clutching.

A suppressor of that size was an interesting choice. He knew the pistol wouldn’t cycle and was prepared to chamber rounds manually. Not professional, but practiced. I can’t wait to read this guy’s manifesto.

I hope this shooting of the CEO of United Healthcare sparks a new trend. I want board rooms practicing shooter drills, not schools.

I’d send my thoughts and prayers to the CEO of United Healthcare, but that would require prior authorization, and not giving a shit was a pre-existing condition.

How is anyone afraid of Kash Patel? How do we not live in a world where the Deputy Director of the FBI takes one look at him, says "shut up, nerd," and then goes on about his day.

I want one in our Georgia.

Just blocked my first round of trolls. Feels good. Highly recommend.

Hopeful Assad will be dead soon. For some reason I think Putin will be next. Then to round it out, Netanyahu and maybe even Trump. Bullets, poison, explosions, and cheeseburgers. A girl can dream.

In addition to putting out fresh playlists, I think it might be nice to recreate the originals from back in the day. "Musical Xanax" was one of the very first. It still hits.

Taking bets on which one of Elon Musk's twelve children will one day murder him in a blind rage.

America is so tacky that we couldn't even produce our own Hitler without him being a gauche, inarticulate clown.

If RF wasn’t a K, Jr. that motherfucker would be a strung-out felon pulling graveyard shift work, desperate to keep his spot at a halfway house, not giving a single shit that all six of his adult children won't speak to him.

All we need is a few raw milk drinkers on the red side of the building.

All social media platforms are echo chambers. This one is a marble palace. The old one is a sewer.

Having one of those "we are so completely fucked" moments.

It looks like a heat map for a foot fetishist.

Anyone who works for Immigration and Customs Enforcement is slave patrol. Anyone who works for the prison-industrial complex is a slaver. Anyone who owns stock in a company that exploits prison labor is a slave owner.

Is Landman an awful TV show? Yes. Is Taylor Sheridan a one-trick pony pimping a tired formula to the worst people in America? Absolutely. Is Billy Bob Thornton phoning in his flat, sarcastic performance for an ungodly pile of cash? I sure hope so. Will I still hate-watch every episode? Probably.

I don’t want Trump to simply die. I want him to suffer a massive stroke that renders him melted and mute, tied to bags of his own piss and shit, while retaining enough ire and executive function to prevent his cabinet from invoking the 25th, sending his administration into permanent halting crisis.

The only good thing about Pam Bondi being nominated as AG is that somewhere tonight Alina Habba is rage crying into a glass of chardonnay.

A decade ago, I made playlists for my readers. Some of you requested that I start making them again, and I think that's a lovely idea. Here's the first. Nothing special. Just a little sampler of the current mood.

My Obama-era persona was a pleasure. Advice columns. Style blogging. Jewelry and handbags. Smart, but frivolous. Serious, but not taken seriously. That time is gone forever, and what I do next won’t be nearly as fun. Utility, service, and resistance are all that matter now. Gird thy fucking loins.

I will never forgive Joe Biden for two things: 1. Refusing to put the full weight of his administration into a federal curb stomping of Donald Trump. He was always going to be accused of leading a political witch hunt. Might as well have been one. 2. Running for a second term.

As an empire, America peaked in the 70s. The 90s were a dead cat bounce, more cultural than economic. We've been in steady decline since Reagan, and now we're facing inevitable collapse. It's okay, though. The end of empire isn't the end of the world. It's just a thing that predictably happens.

This morning I finally unsubscribed from all the Harris-Walz campaign emails and text messages.

You better believe we're already making lists of collaborators.

Joe and his wife are groveling lickspittle. We should never let them wipe the dictator's shit from their noses.

Why do every last one of these ghouls look like they were meant to wear a uniform designed by Hugo Boss?

There is a gift in knowing when to leave a party, even one's own. Once the law of diminishing returns sets in, I refuse to fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy. I stopped posting for the same reason I might one day leave this country. I don't chase highs. I can read the room. I know everything ends.

Trump calling for the investigation of Ann Selzer is yet another bullet point in an ever-growing list of authoritarian horrors, but I have to admit, I do have a few questions for her.

Every five to seven years there's a new platform worth joining, but this is the first time in almost two decades I've been excited about the possibility of building up my follower count from scratch.

This seems like the perfect place to remind folks that it isn't arrogance if you really are better than them.

I don't quite know what to make of this place. The air is a bit thin, but it's pleasant, an easy place to be. I look forward to engaging here. As in all spaces, I will act in good faith and match the energy, but I reserve the right to be a raging bitch if necessary.