Prompt: Boring fact about you. I can cross one eye by itself. 🤪

I was laying on the couch for a moment to wait for the dryer to finish up, and I was attacked. Send help. Unable to move.

The Home Shopping Network is trying to charge people $150 plus shipping to look like a greasy tribble in this miserable wig. I can't...

Just filmed a new video. As per usual, I feel like I want to throw up. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️😌

November 20th at the Lewis Family Playhouse, they're screening the movie Clue, and LESLEY ANN WARREN IS GOING TO BE THERE! 😃🤪 I've already bought my ticket. I'm going to do my best to put together a Miss Scarlet look. If you love Clue and you're in Southern California, you've GOT to go! 🤩

To hell with drugs. Give me art, and my spirit is free.

He said "Comfort me with apples." And, I was like "How about I sort you out with this cucumber, instead?" 😏

If you see this and want to see a Black owned business win, please help share my work. I made this perfume because it reminded me of spending Saturdays with my dad

I just heard the phrase "this embarrassment of love." For some reason, it struck me as poetic and touching. As though embarrassment wasn't simply a state of being, but a measure of volume. That one was loving with such honesty and openness that others nearby may feel vicarious embarrassment.

I saw Marcia Lucas at the Academy Museum back in 2019. She was a fucking blast. Up there on the stage in the smallest miniskirt, giving the audience all-you-can-eat legs. She shared candid videos, pictures, and memories from the early days of Lucasfilm. The world is a poorer place without her.

Carrie Fisher in 1985? Pill issue.

And, just like that... Puerto Rican tuna pasta salad. 💥

Yesterday morning, I noticed an unwelcome presence on my front porch. The heavy, gray scent of death. One of the opossums born around this time last year returned to my front yard. I had been leaving little bits of kibble for him. Sadly, he passed away.

Spiral, baby. No hesitation. Hands down. All six of 'em. Spiral is transcendent! Literally. Spiral transcends time and space. She's THE baddest bitch. Second favorite: Storm. Fucking love Storm.

I took the last exam of the semester, yesterday. As per usual, I feel a strong sense of relief, and will probably get sick. 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️😞

Name your favorite android or robot? Luba Luft. 🩵

Happy Mother's Day.

If you were a non-legendary MtG creature, which would YOU be? I'm unable to shut my mouth or stop writing, and apparently I hurt people's feelings. 🤷‍♂️ I'm also a bespectacled magic-user, so... Lecturing Scornmage it is!

"So, what are you doing on the weekend?" 😃 ((Smash cut to me, face-down at the bottom of the stairs, motionless on the floor, shot in black-and-white. Sour Times is playing in the background.))

Amazing. Perfection. No notes.

I would create my own fragrances.

What kills me is all those grown ass adults complaining about having to go through an active shooter situation last night & yet none of them give a 2nd thought to teachers & students going through that same exact scenario once or twice a mnth in the form of drills, some of them go through it for…

Okay, hear me out... Balki Bartokomous.

Viktor Orban and his party have just been crushed in the Hungarian election. This kind of overwhelming shift in power can and must happen here in the States. Not simply to bring us back to the way we were before, but to push firmly in a new, progressive direction.

It's that thing where you've become so accustomed to dealing with misfortune that you're not certain how to react when something goes your way. Is there a word to describe this?

Today, on the way to my car from class, I saw a butterfly laying nearly still on their side on the hot pavement. I reached down, and they crawled up my hand. I brought them to a large, flowering mass of vines, where they left me. I hope that you're doing well out there in the world. Good journey. 🫡

Every time I hear "But, we NEVER could have seen it coming!", I'm going to answer that with a hearty smack across their face.

😬😬😬

"The alleged arrangement, described in documents reviewed by Reuters/," is said to have restricted job opportunities and wages for employees." I hope that the courts absolutely slaughter these greedy bastards. 😠

Them: "I'm Gryffindor. What are you?" Me:

"There never WAS a Mr. Madrigal..." If you know, you know.

This absolute diva. #magicthegathering #mtg #ccgsky

That is, in fact, very Delta. 😌🔸️🔶️🔸️

President for life.

My apricot trees are in bloom. I took this photo yesterday morning. The day was absolutely insane. Stressful. Challenging. But, one thing turned out very well. Tomorrow is an unexpected adventure. I have no idea what to expect, but I'm excited for it just the same.

This petulant little shit-ass, Nathan Cavanaugh, made over $120,000 a year as one of the DOGE bros. Fuck that. If a malicious goblin like him can make THAT kind of money while accomplishing nothing positive, you can CONFIDENTLY ask for more during your next interview, performance review, etc.

If an official commits an impeachable offense and nobody acts to impeach, it is no longer an impeachable offense. People who oppose impeachment as “pointless” because it seems unlikely to result in removal do not understand this very simple point and seem unwilling to even try to understand it.

As the midterm election approaches, be wary of bots, misinformation and disinformation. More than likely, they'll aim at sowing division on the Left, and convincing you not to vote. Fuck that! Call bullshit out. Vote. Don't be discouraged. Keep the momentum up. Resist in any way you can.

Fill up your gas tank. Like, now. Chances are, gas prices are going to jump, and soon.

Last night, driving home from school, I saw a stray dog running by yhe side of the road. I grabbed my leash, pulled over, and spent a good 20 minutes following him down the road until I caught him. He was a super sweet black lab. The dog ran over to this guy standing nearby...

Face reveal. Wrong answers only.

Give me a roller rink with an arcade, and Shannon singing Let the Music Play. Who's with me?

Use a GIF to give everybody a sneak peek at your flirting technique.

Does face paint mess with facial recognition software? I feel it may. A mask can be ripped right off. It takes FAR more time and effort to remove face paint. Believe me. I know. If you engage in any pro-freedom resistance, paint your face up. Make it as hard as possible to be identified.

Correct answer. Ghost Type. 🤘😎 www.quotev.com/quiz/1234335...

I wore this shirt to school last week. If anybody catches the references I wear, they get a free membership to the cool kids club. 😎 ((For my perfume people, I was wearing vintage Opium EdP. 😉))

1) Dr. Henry McCoy. 2) Éowyn. 3) Either Ryan Choi, or Zatanna. 4) Chakotay.

I took home the gold medal for ceaseless longing at the #gayolympics 😞🏅

I had under an hour to study before heading to class. As soon as I reclined and started to read, Benjamin hopped up and snuggled with me. Then, he shut my textbook and held it closed with his paw. 🤨 I took this photo as proof. Ben is SUCH a needy baby! 😆