Ah, some fresh plunder.

(Casually rolling around a cannon he found god knows where.)

Is that what they be callin’ a “ship”? I hear it and get all giddy.

Well, avast me! What fathom spat a thing like ye out?

Gimme a fine pistol fer me travels and plunders an’ ye’ve made me a happy man.

Stro. “Pls say you want to be with an animal, validate my beliefs and harden my rockbrain I have literally nothing else going for me PLEASE” -OtakuPato

Unless ye’ve a supply o’ Hennessy or a good ship to raid, ye don’t sound like me idea of “fun”.

(Instant regret fills the pirate’s face as his hat blows off, and he struggles to hold onto his seat.) WHAT IN THE TEN HELLS IS THIS THING?!

Then put a spring on her cable! (His ass is NOT buckled.)

Stro. Oh my god Alex is a heel with a classic New Yorker accent

Aye, thank ye, mysterious stranger! I may as well be findin’ a way up then!

(Jumping back in shock, the captain points his flintlock at the individual.) What layer o’ Hell did ye escape from?!

Howdeedo? Im Stro Bro. 19m, Audhd and Tourette’s. In my freshman year of college My interest come and go but rn its Street Fighter, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Sid Meier’s Civilization, and dabbling in a bit of Danganronpa I like to be the type of guy who believes anyone can be judged-

Aye, they call me that ‘ere. Edward Teach, Blackbeard in the flesh.

(He pulls up the figure, patting them on the back to get them to spit out whatever water is still in their throat.) Cough it up first, matey, then talk.

(The Admiral of the Black was taking a stroll on the shore and was startled by this strange individual.) Blimey, ye look half dead!

I be putting’ a spring on her cable, me hearties! There’s bait to be had!

Who in the name of Davy Jones be that?

Born in England, most of me life spent on the seven seas.

The name be Blackbeard. Fer this context though, ye may call me Edward, bein a meetin o’ leaders an’ all.

Aye. Ended up here on me travels and thought it looked nice. Ye must be the king then, huh? I recall startin’ me piracy days under a government.

The hell? Why do ye be starin’?

Ah, a fine offering. Say, how’d ye and yer “demons” go on account and be part of me new crew? It’s the least I could do to return the favor.

A new year be upon us, hearties. Sometime or later, ye all best watch ye back, fer this year, I sail the seas yet again with a new ship an’ crew!

Ye’ve a heart of scurvy. That be comin from me mouth alone, that should carry at least twice the weight of me ol’ vessel.

Are there swimming dinosaurs I can tame an’ fit a full crew and all the fixins of a normal ship on? If so, that’s how.

Well, blimey, I choose the beasts so that they can be a new weapon fer me new crew!

The sea can have me when it claims me, but nonetheless:

Eh, no prey, no pay. (Aaaaaand he’s looting Disney HQ for anything valuable and/or sources of this so called “steel” he’s heard about.)

When I get a fleet up an’ runnin, that pole’s gonna be fer the Admiral, savvy?

Handle with care, landlubber.

Bloody hell if I know!

youtu.be/LMl0yvS4p1s?... (imagine this is the theme of the party the READER has arrived at, and the host, Edward Teach, aka Blackbeard, welcomes them.) Ahoy! Glad to see ye come!

Usually I give naught to any god, but I found someone who could make somethin I think catch yer fancy! (He gives him a flintlock pistol with his face on it.)

There shall be loot to be had! May as well return the favor too, for I be a gracious captain.

(A note lands at the READER’s feet.) Yer invited to Blackbeard’s Christmas shindig! Expect fun and plenty-o’-rum!

Aye, how could I not provide it? It be the glue that holds any good shindig together, me hearty!

Should I do one of these Christmas parties? If being a pirate taught me one thing, it’s how ta do a party proper!

Well met then, Farosh. Those unlucky to cross me call me Blackbeard, the scourge of the seven seas, a title I’d love ta truly claim again.

How time changes. Then again, I’m speaking with a rabbit and I haven’t questioned it. Anyway, how are ye talking?

I could tell. I can’t make heads or tails of what be happening here now.

We pirates are much more than those two quotes there. Methinks you wouldn’t know we founded a republic once.

Hm? Yer sayin people don’t use wood fer their ships any longer?

Is that targeted at me? If it was, I’ll string ye up an make ye dance with Jack Ketch, savvy?

Seems like it could fetch a pretty penny, says I.

Then I best get some folks looking to go on account and sink one of these “robots”. Thank ye fer catching me up, and may ya find plenty-a loot from your lil scrap.

Maybe a new vessel with which I can weigh anchor to once again terrorize the seven seas with a new crew!

A machine…that’s what some called the Queen Anne’s Revenge in me time. Perhaps if it’s as large as ye say it could be, it could hold great treasure! (The pirate captain seems very excited at this improbable idea.)

Then ye get me meaning. First off, what be a “robot”?