For once a GOHQ drop was timed exactly for meeeee! Just as I was about to get dressed for work! Wahoo! I spent so much money but at least while I'm at work I can think about all the queer goodness I'm earning my wages to pay for. 🥲💛

Honestly, how am I lying here managing to smile after how wretched I've felt all day? I know shit's got messy and there seems to be drama and unkindness wherever you look, but I'm still so grateful for the people in my tiny little corner of the fandom, even if it seems to get smaller every day. 💛

Apparently, posting pictures of bisquits brings out the smexy spam bots. Who knew.

And so it begins...

I feel sad to my guts today. Feel as if I could throw up my soul or my nervous system or something. I don't know.

The pride collection won't be *so* limited that it sells out when it's probably released while I'm at work today will it? WILL IT? 😭

We’re delighted to announce that we will be launching a small collection of limited-edition Pride products in the next 24 hours! 100% of the profits will be donated to deserving organizations doing good work in the LGBTQ+ community. #Pride

Me yesterday: Nope, can't decide which to pick on the Ineffable Silver brooch survey, must close form before I lose my tiny mind choosing. 😫 My brain today: Just tick them all, Jem. Who needs savings. 🥲

I love Anthony & Asa. I love them the same way I love my own versions of them when I write, or the versions of them in my fave fics/comics/art. They're a new iteration of Aziraphale & Crowley, & if you draw them I will throw you hearts. Please don't be anxious to post art of them, pocket friends. 💛

Trying to do things I should be doing but just keep on feeling too stupid sad.

Update on the snow globe iffiness: I don't know what I did, but the snowy globe resurrected itself with some wiggling of the switch (no different to the wiggling I'd already done before I messaged HQ, of course, but) which feels less loose now! I was so happy when the little Bentley lights came...

I want to learn how to bind books so I can put my silly stories inside real covers and look at them on a shelf.

It's pathetic, but those tiny Bentley headlights in their safe little globe helped me sleep at night.

Both my snow globes are becoming increasingly faulty after barely any use and I hate complaining to companies, but they cost such a lot of money, and I don't even think they'll replace them at this point, and I'm just so fucking sad.

Found the Easter egg. They are evil. 😂💛 ⛰️🎶

Why does the TIC zine deadline seem so soon? I wanted to enter a story and a new (slightly overambitious, okay very) pic of my tinies (does that even count as fan art?) but I don't think I'm going to manage it with how slowly I write and how long crafting takes me. 😫

This little thread just swelled my poor sad heart. 🤍🖤

But, wait! What's thiiiis? 🪄🎩🐇

I'm soul-deep tired of fandom miseries and squabbling. So, here I am to ask the really important question... Who is Crowley's favourite Golden Girl?

Okay, job done, let the hiding recommence.

But, wait. I only just realised. Today is actually THIS little bean's first birthday. He looks so different. More himself somehow. As if I somehow loved the character right into him. 🖤

For obvious reasons I forgot all about this, but. The day after the finale was this little bean's first birthday. So, here's what a year of love and adventure will do to a tiny crochet angel. It feels like longer. I adore him far too much. 💛

So, obviously, we're all up for competitive cryptic crossword solving at @theineffablecon.bsky.social yeah?* *I would not get even one answer, but I'm really good at filling the boxes with swear words instead.

Sometimes I lie here and think how, a year ago now, I unwittingly bought a copy of Good Omens from an alternate version of Aziraphale's bookshop and it's hard to keep my braincells from imploding. 🥲

Losing followers fast in the after. Ah well. I'll live.

I know it's silly, but I just keep wondering what all this means for my crochet tinies. Ordered a few things today and hoping a little craft project involving them might help me through some things over the next few months.

Okay, seeing some generalisations about "the fanbase" that are making me sad and anxious and... We're all just people? Hundreds of thousands of individual people? I feel a bit sick being referred to like a mindless collective. I want to step back. But I'm lonely. But I'm anxious. But I'm sad. 💔

Long story short, my mental health has not been healthing in a long while, and I guess this is all just that final straw.

Braved a third watch. Didn't feel much of anything. Worried I'd shut down my feelings towards them forever in self defence, because my fucked up brain does that. Half hour later, I find myself crying, "I don't want to be here. Why didn't you just take me with you?" at the ceiling, so. Maybe not.

Struggling so much at work today. I'm failing so hard to see the point of anything.

Okay, I have to ask, how are people getting screen caps from the finale? Official places block them, so is it a way of getting round that or is the watching happening somewhere else? I have S2 from a very kind person who sent me it who isn't on here anymore, but I'm clueless where it came from.

I wanted to share Colleen Doran's take on the finale because it's been ringing in my mind the whole drive home. "They're out there somewhere, I have no doubts. And I'll tell you why. Because God doesn't reward making the selfless choice, but Terry always did." #go3spoilers

I have to eat dinner and somehow get ready to be at the beck and call of the general public for eight stupid hours. I've barely made it out of bed for the last two and a half days. Dread is not the word right now.

Just me or... is this a certain soft toy nightingale we all know, love and own? 😅🤎 #go3spoilers

So, someone posted somewhere else (I'm sorry, don't know who) the "house keys" page from the Book of Life which actually has writing about the creation of ALPHA CENTAURI on it, and WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!!? 🤯 #go3spoilers

This is probably going to sound insane, but I'm trying to do a bit of writing on one of my AUs, and they do feel a little more... real now, somehow. My own versions of them. I just still need my darling angel/demon Us back alongside all the others. 💔 #go3spoilers

Their love created every universe. #go3spoilers

If anyone is wondering if Crowley and Aziraphale maybe did a “real big miracle” when the bookshop disappears, if you slow-mo the explosion, these two entities circling each other are the last thing in the sky before the screen goes black. #go3spoilers #goodomens #goodomensspoilers

"Night night," said Anthony Crowley. 🖤

Somebody please just sedate me. 💔

I just want them back.

Confusedly moving post canon stories I'd started writing into my AU folder and wondering when I'll wake up from this dream. #go3spoilers

Thank you to everyone who's been so kind to me today. I really do love you all. 🖤🤍

To our world #GoodOmens #GoodOmens3spoilers

Just had to message two colleagues who know about my love for GO/that I was off for the finale to warn them my worst fear came true and to just not even ask, because I'll probably be a miserable mess when I have to go back to work tomorrow. I'm such a pathetic idiot. Jem, just fuck off. #go3spoilers

Okay, I think I should go. I was hoping I'd feel less wretched today, but I really, really don't. I'm sorry for all the heartache I've smeared all over everything here. 💔

Okay, nope. No matter how I try to make peace with their decision, I just can't accept that Crowley wouldn't care that the billions of people in the previous universe were all just... wiped out. That isn't him. It isn't Aziraphale either. It isn't them. #go3spoilers

Still can't stop crying. Or get out of bed. My new thing I'm clinging to is that Asa wished they could go on loving each other for all of eternity, and when their lives come to an end, poof, his wish comes true and there they are in their ready made cottage. Properly them. #go3spoilers

Fucking pills aren't working. Please. I'm so done with this day, let me sleep.

I haven't drunk alcohol in almost twenty years, but this afternoon I broke open the obligatory bottle of Talisker off my bookshelf. Now I'm just hoping two Kalms night tablets instead of one will actually get me to sleep. I really shouldn't be allowed to love things. They only break my heart.