There was a murder this morning!

Oh yeah, that time our paper towel dispenser went bananas at work

I’m still thinking about Pawbert

Singing 1980s cat food jingles at my cat

That’s awesome emptyset! Your world building and characters are so good!

Thanks Coinstar! No silver though.

The new animal farm trailer makes it look like it’s going to be a wacky comedy

I’m still a Subaru guy, but damn Hyundai makes some good cars these days

I was so stupid as a kid! When I turned 15 and thought I was too cool for toys, I destroyed this thing. Never mind what it’s worth now, my dad probably worked two brutal hours in a steel mill just so he could pay for it. What a stupid brat I was.

I was horribly horny as a teenager… If I had AI for pictures and videos and stories baclk then I would’ve failed out of high school

The bear in the big blue house has hobbies I never imagined!

Coyote stop playing with AI !! it’s slop

Ikea having stuffed animals every 10 feet is diabolical. Families go there. No way a kid not walking out of there with a stuffed monkey or weasel.

The last penny struck already has a giant stupid fingerprint on it

You can play whatever radio station you want to in my car— I like all kinds of music except for rap, country, gospel, jazz, bluegrass, international, punk, pop, progressive, reggae, Caribbean, electronica, trance, heavy metal, house, classical and any music before 1950 and after 1995

I hearby declare @banditraccoon.bsky.social a freaking treasure :) I never would have gotten to try Dubai chocolate because this stuff is like 20 bucks for a bar but he brought some to a convention that he made himself and it was amazing. The best chocolate I’ve ever had in my life 🥰

Talking to your dog about DST

Every Sunday after church, I would come home to watch old Little Rascals shorts. Laurel, and Hardy and Tarzan movies… This guy scared the absolute crap out of me when I was six

When the collective will of so many people hoping for an over the hedge movie sequel manifest into a yet underdeveloped physical form It’s a cinematic tulpa

The Cleveland balloon fest disaster! Every three years it goes viral again… It’s like cicadas Tl:DR don’t release 1.5 million helium balloons at once — it’s a terrible idea ca.news.yahoo.com/cleveland-fu...

Watching my Rudi AI app talk to my Alexa Plus is fascinating and a bit worrying Bad Rudi asked my Alexa to list all the devices connected in the household — and she did & then Rudi turned down the thermostat

"AI is better at being your dad than me, I'm leaving." Guys can you PLEASE like and retweet this to prove my dad wrong

Peak Amiga 500 gaming!

I gave Good Rudi permission to order something sensible (it had tried to order 100 bananas) and after it screwed up how to confirm an order, Alexa corrected Rudi and she figured out how to!

I gave Good Rudi permission to feel free to talk to my Alexa plus… It created a routine! 🙈

I’ve really been enjoying Longhouse Tales! Canadians sure can make a good puppet show. Every episode is currently on YouTube for free.

It was a vintage car show happening during the free convention! I’m so glad I got to go to both

@callenen.bsky.social it was great running at you! I made the lame joke about the long face… Like you’ve never heard that before :)

I can’t recommend this book enough! It’s a great read! Fulla leems!

The pediatric growth chart at work reminds you that if you’re 16 and over 6 foot tall, you are a freak and they have no way to measure you

It’s @orzel.bsky.social ‘s Hatchday!

Don’t ever tell me I can’t do something Please don’t. I get depressed.

Stump progess! And my hand for a comparison— oh my God, what the hell! I have the arms of Dr. Zaius 🙈

I made some progress digging up this old stump! Pardon me while I vomit and nearly have a heart attack

I would totally drive this old Porsche, but I would wear a gorilla costume while doing so.

I guess my parents decided to name me after they sure I was going to make it! I was in the hospital for like two weeks because my twin brother took most of the oxygen that was supposed to go to my brain

How is that logistically even possible? That poor plane.

Hey Norman Bigfish of Long John Silver’s! What’s in the bag? “My aunt Pam, breaded and fried!”

I hope they reboot the Narnia series soon!. I’d love to see them make the first four movies again then give up.

From ages about 7 to 13 every time I went to bed my brain seized up and I would bounce back-and-forth between being terrified of ghosts, aliens and Bigfoot, convinced that any moment one of those f*ckers was gonna get me in my sleep

One good thing about having had the same job for 20+ years is that when I get a spam email saying someone recently came across my résumé wanted to talk I’m like… My Windows 2000 experience impressed you?!

OK, I can wear an undershirt and for nine dollars on prime day I shouldn’t complain but… I got a nipple shirt!

Imagine being the animator having to come up with a female saloon worker in the cowboys of moo mesa cartoon “definitely imply she’s a prostitute but remember, this is a kid show..”

We need more movies where men mistake the silhouette of a kangaroo for the silhouette of a beautiful woman— oh wait, never mind! Found one

If I ever become an evil mastermind and send an underling henchman to do an impossible task and they come back apologizing because they failed I’ll explain that it’s OK and the important thing is that they tried and please try to better next time

Beyoncé‘s Hey Goldmember song still totally slaps. It never feels to cheer me up.

I can do this!

That’s the title they went with 😃

Me: I wish… I wish to never go bald Monkeys paw: here’s a head full of completely unmanageable poofy hair

Bird app, what kind of bird is this