Sick of builder's tea; getting fancy with it by making myself a 'builder's mocha' (instant coffee with choccy milk).

Post your favourite Lord of the Rings character. Wrong answers only.

My quest to get someone who writes it 'CIS' to reveal what they think it stands for continues without fruit. I keep seeing it capitalised but no-one will explain it!

GREG: Roll the boulder to the top of the hill. Simple. I can't imagine this one took too long. ALEX: Let's see Sisyphus's attempt. SISYPHUS'S CHAIR: (sits completely empty)

Take of the morning: horror isn't an unavoidably reactionary genre, but it can very easily become reactionary because horror premises usually boil down to 'what if this thing that scares you was actually dangerous' and exploiting baseless fears is fundamental to reactionary ideology.

DID YOU KNOW: Pixar's 'Cars' universe features a Catholic Church led by a car pope. This is because a world inhabited entirely by sentient vehicles inevitably develops a concept of vice and the need for absolution, in a process known as car-sin-isation.

JOE COCKER: Woman, don't you pray to me / lover, can't you see / that I'm just / I'm just / a Shitty Crab BACKUP SINGERS, IN IMPOSSIBLY BEAUTIFUL HARMONY: Shitty Craaaaaaaaaaaaab

I saw a post asking people what albums they don't skip any tracks on, but I couldn't usefully reply because I usually listen to whole albums. So, I'm asking the opposite: what's a track you skip on an album you otherwise enjoy?

The phone company sends 'friendly reminders' about upcoming payments - like, not late payments, not overdue fees, just 'friendly reminder: we'll be sending you a bill soon! :)'. Every time, I'm like, man, why are you friendly remindering me. I haven't done anything wrong.

Making a playlist. link.deezer.com/s/32vHUlKkxM...

DID YOU KNOW: Water is incompressible, but many other fluids can be easily compressed! In fact, a number of popular snack foods are produced by compressing fluids, such as milk (cheese), juice (apples) and cola (chocolate)!

Hi, my arm won't raise without blinding pain. I don't know how to beg without acting like a sick animal hiding under your porch. I can't cook, or type on a keyboard, im on my stomach using my left hand on my phone. Shits bad

Your Favourite Living Writer Apologises for Misgendering You in Cameo Paid For by Your Semi-Estranged Family (ASMR)

Reading fandom discussions... I hate when people misgender nonbinary characters, but I kind of love it when they can't agree *how* to misgender them.

I know bemoaning a lack of media literacy is the most terrible cliché, but sometimes you see people challenged to simply describe a scene in a work - what takes place, how the characters react to it, how it relates to the greater plot - and you realise they genuinely have no idea.

I hate the 'know the work rules' meme so much. It's just antifeminist propaganda. I don't want to see that shit.

A series about glamorous women married to professional fishermen, scuppered eighteen months into production by a three-day fight about whether it should be called 'Reel Housewives of Nantucket' or 'Real Fishwives of Nantucket'.

An argument I see repeatedly as the Americans go around talking about "immigration enforcement" (ie, racism as state policy) is the idea that it should go after "businesses that employ illegal immigrants" buddy. baby. my child. the immigration enforcement IS THE REASON those businesses do that

maybe you don't need to enforce laws about hunting down and displacing people for the temerity of being born in the wrong place

LEONARD COHEN: You're just a turd in a car / and I hope you drive far away from me / and crash into / the Bad Octopus BACKUP SINGERS, IN IMPOSSIBLY BEAUTIFUL HARMONY: The Bad Octopus

(completely misjudging the zeitgeist) Fine, I'll be brave enough to bring up what we're all thinking about it: the devastatingly handsome forehead/nose angle of the late Zeppo Marx.

My taste in music is so basic (it's all artists I've heard of). Other people's music is much cooler (they listen to artists I haven't heard of).

Watching Good Cop/Bad Cop. It's *really* good, but it's also *really* weird seeing all these Australian actors in Australia playing Americans in America.

Anyway. Nothing but complete eradication of all right-wing ideology everywhere will suffice, I think.

If I were ever wrongly convicted of a crime, maintained my innocence during my incarceration, was denied parole because I refused to (wrongly) admit guilt, and then was granted an appeal due to exonerating evidence being found and finally acquitted, I would be so insufferable about it.

Discovered tonight that you can see the fireworks if you stand in the right spot in the garden. Less convenient than our last place, where you could see the fireworks reflected in the windows from the couch, but more convenient than the place where you could see the fireworks from one corner window.

I once saw a Liberal Party member fry and eat a moth on live TV. It settled on a steak he was cooking, then got stuck there when he flipped it over. It remained in place as a recognisable darker patch when the steak was served, and the first cut of the knife went right through it.

Shout out to Christmas Wrapped for featuring two self-contradictions in its recorded thought process (Bah, humbug / no, that's too strong / 'cause it is my favourite holiday / but all this year's been a busy blur), beating Your Song's previous record (If I was a sculptor / but then again, no).

It's time for the annual collective amazement at how Raymond Coulthard looks more like a young Michael Caine than Michael Caine ever did!

Starting vicious discourse about whether or not you add a space after the full stop at the end of a sentence when it's the last one in a paragraph. Getting weird with it by insisting that this is even more important when you're using a typewriter.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton have to pay his lawyer?

Y'know how some people give their houses names? There's a house near me called 'Dunvegan', which I assume means 'given up my plant-based diet'.

I feel like a crank every time I speculate that basic memes are being used to push the youth into a reactionary mindset, but then a zoomer says 'my brother in Christ, none of these words are in the Bible' and I feel completely vindicated.

If I lived in Clerkenwell, I'd hang up big posters saying things like 'Clerkenwell or hardly clerken?' and everyone would hate it.

Contrary to belief, the 'eighty days' in 'Around the World in Eighty Days' doesn't refer to the time it took the travellers to make the journey. It actually refers to the height they reached in their balloon - they flew eighty days high, or approximately half the distance from the Earth to the moon.

(grumpy rancher voice) Gotdangit, that boy's about as much use as a cishet polycule!

Q: How do Muppeteers build up muscles? A: Dynamic Henson.

Deezer's doing a romance-themed personalised music quiz this year. Deezer: At Least It's Not Spotify. link.deezer.com/s/31Lyhcx5fW...

I'd have assumed that the name 'Wood Knife Fork And Napkin Set' would be abbreviated to something like 'WKFN' or 'WKFANS', but apparently someone involved in the process insisted that their product had to be called 'WE FUCKIN'.

Hi! I'm a feature of the software you're using that you didn't know existed. Do you want to dismiss this unexpected popup, disabling me forever, or confirm activating me? Either way, you won't know what you've done or how to change it!

Back in the 2000s, the biggest names on the internet were tech guys with big beards who wrote blogs about how stupid everyone was compared to them called shit like 'Socrates of the Geeks: The only thing I know for sure is that you know nothing' and they'd die at age 47 in a ponyplay mishap.

The problem with memory is that I conceive of the person in my memories as me, but by definition, they don't have the experiences I have. 'How could I have been so stupid as to have gotten that wrong?' I ask myself. 'I know that's wrong because I learned so in that moment, when I was corrected!'

Roll-top baths should be like roll-top desks.

You might think it odd that Japan has two cities whose names are anagrams - Tokyo and Kyoto - but this is actually quite common! For instance, there's the cities of Perth and Threp (Australia), Budapest and Pastedub (Hungary), and Salt Lake City and Silky Lactate (United States of America).

Everyone at base camp is laughing at me because I pronounced it 'Eve-rest'. It's not my fault - I'd only seen it written down before. This sucks. Mountaineering is stupid.

Scenes from the Taskmaster discourse: Americans asking why Sanjeev Bhaskar went on the show if he was just going to be so rude about it, and Britons explaining to them that 'I'm having a miserable time and wish I hadn't come' is how the English say 'I love you and enjoy spending time with you'.

A collection of epigraphs published in a book is called an epitome.

Anyway if you like knowledge and deduction games may I point you towards KINOPHOBIA, my exorcist-detective game about ghosts, movies, and movie stars that are ghosts? brunodias.itch.io/kinophobia