building up confidence is so hard....... but im tryinggg....

the way i get too anxious to properly hold a conversation with this guy whenever he reaches out... like... girl he's had you biting your lip for years.. lock in!!! but also god he literally could not have picked a worse time oughhhhh throws my hands in the air

can't help but feel a little slighted that my local south aussie anime con didn't ask me to join their lineup of vtuber guests, who are all 90% aussies with lower stats than me.. like.. i'm friends with half of the staff committee (or at least the old ones).. tabled in artist alley for years.. ??

my stress has been so through the roof recently i've started picking up self destructive habits again and it's just making everything worse picking at the skin on my face.. biting my nails til they bleed... pulling my hair out... etc... awful. it's awful.

I just paid an $800+ bill Now I got this text I can’t afford this What if I just killed myself

There’s no way my memory has become that bad right.. I feel like I’m gonna cry and be sick… this is the worst feeling in the world

i know it's irrational and silly, but it makes me so sad when i stop seeing regular active chatters show up for long periods of time / forever especially when i catch them in the wild becoming regulars of my friends/other streamers instead makes me feel like i've failed them in some way

my biggest goal for my body is to have a slutty enough waist that i can pull off showing my thong straps above skirts/baggy sweat pants/etc its so hot.... i love drawing characters with it (dazey has exposed thong straps lol) but i want it irl!!!!! that plus the shadow the hedgehog tramp stamp.. 🤤

i need to work harder, faster, desperately need to make money, fix my mental and physical health, get my career back on track, clean up my environment, keep up friendships, do a million irl things... there's just not enough time i'm always overworked with nothing to show for it...

There’s something really exhilarating abt walking outside alone at 3am when it’s stormy so the streetlights reflect on the road and the cold wind is like a shot of adrenaline Feels like the world belongs to me, like it’s the one time i can be a part of it and feel powerful and like i belong

man.... having no money and needing to get contraception really sucks it's $400 for them to shove a rod in my arm, money I don't have, and also there's a chance it will make me bleed more frequently/nonstop while it's in there because that's what happened when i was on the pill I HATE IT

would genuinely trade anything in the world to feel comfortable and happy in my body

i really can't get this dragon god + corrupt nun oc pairing out of my mind and now i'm like do i turn it into a book/short novel ? a comic ? a visual novel ? a lil rpg??? i have to get them out of my brain and into something tangible somehow or i'll explode

Milos health took an overnight turn for the worse and we’re going to take him to the vet tonight to put him down I’ve never seen him this sad and in pain He’s the kind of dog that acts like a hyperactive puppy no matter what.. This is so unfair.

Man I know I’m on the cusp of shark week when I cry 4 times (and counting) in one day

I gotta get to america

grrrr getting my high ruined seconds after it hit and making now i'm sad when all i wanted to do was de-stress and calm down for bed after working hard all day.... can't wait to not get any sleep tonight now

Not me waking up crying from a horrible nightmare, to see a message that my electricity bill is $700 which I simply can’t afford What a fucked start to my day

i just wanna not have to think anymore im tired of how loud my brain is all the time.. all it wants to do is hurt me

just found out from my brother that my family dog who is still young and i cherish very much was diagnosed with cancer last thursday and has a year left to live and my abusive mother was never going to call me or tell me to punish me for not checking in/coming over enough-

Can’t tell if streaming would help my mental or if I’ll just be nonverbal and crying the whole time Want to die so fucking bad

feeling silly might fuck around and kms

i hate that people (especially companies/sponsors) still value twitter over everything else its so frustrating that spending my time pleading on my knees for people to abandon it has made me lose over 500 followers there this year and work along with it it's literally a fucking cesspit 😭

explained on stream today that whenever i draw dazey with huge tits and a huge cock it's not actually fetish art, it's literally just gender euphoria for me LOL very cathartic thank u for coming to my ted talk

WANT 2 DIE :)))))))))))))))

will i ever know what it feels like to live in a brain that doesn't want me dead 24/7 i try my best to not let it slip or affect those around me, and i manage it ok, but it's just... exhausting makes it so hard to get through each day and function on a basic level oughhhhh

Wish I could have a harness that says don’t talk to me or interact with me in any way some days Like you would harness a small anxious dog

take me with you, or let me follow #WitchHatAtelier #WitchHatAtelierSpoilers #WHAspoilers

big girl business meetings went well yesterday i told them i was an indie va and they were like 'oh perfect we'll put that in ur notes because sometimes we'll have companies want to put in streamers to voice characters' YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PUT ME IN VIDEO GAMESSSSSSS YAHOOOOOO

bad insomnia night so i got blitzed for the first time in months and put on the new ep of artists on artists to fall asleep to i can't tell if i'm just RLY high bc my tolerance is nonexistent rn or if everyone in the vid is high.. bc i'm 10 minutes in and it feels like 3 hours LMAO.. IM CONCUSSED..

Im such a hormonal baby lol I just started crying because my cat looked so cute and soft sleeping on the couch and I had to walk past him to go to bed but all I wanted to do was bury my face in his fur I love him so much 😭😭😭😭😭

A lot of my feed is women being upset their partners watch porn and calling it misogynistic but that’s like… the most batshit insane thing to me?? it’s healthy and normal? And doesn’t mean ur partner finds u any less desirable?? If anything, u should share the good stuff???? I dont get it lol

One Day I wanna try lifting heavy… I don’t care about muscles (i must remain squishy) I just want big thighs and a Fat Ass 🥴

actually very fucked up that working out consistently, even if it's only 20-30 mins a day, actually does make you feel significantly better about almost everything grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Nothing like a cathartic screaming sobbing clutching your chest cry on the floor before bed

out of all of my many many many /many/ afflictions, PMDD really has to be one of the worst

less than a day since pal's been on their trip and i already miss them i really am such a needy cat

i am god's bravest soldier any time i start business with a company who says 'we'll be in touch to organize an onboarding call with our team' the things i have to push through my social anxiety for in this industry 😭

Ashnikko coming to perform in my state for the smoochies tour the same time I want to fly to America this year… why does this happen every time Last time it was ghost…. I’m so cursed bro 😩

on tonights episode of unreachable goals dazey likes to lay awake in bed and fantasize about: an apartment with a loft...ooooh i want a loft so bad.... oooh they're so fun and i could hang string lights off the railing.... ooooh...

Oughhhhh nightmares woke me up again… 😭

ordered a burrito bowl as a treat, my first takeout in a month was so excited then it arrived with sour cream on it even tho i asked for none... i nearly gagged and had to throw the whole things out... what a waste of food and $30.... i know it shouldnt make me cry but im sobbing...

i would sell my soul to have a working shower that doesn't switch between scalding hot and ice cold every 3 minutes with zero middle ground dealing with this for 4 years has been a fucking nightmare every shower takes me almost 2 hours to get through because i can barely stand it ugh

oh my god they are everything

I can’t stop thinking about getting kitty bites since I found out they were a thing… bro… this piercing was actually made for me… lil fangies!!! Without the top part of angel bites!!! I think it would suit me sm 🥺🥺🥺 Maybe I could make it my reward for when I reach my fitness goal…

unhappy with a lot of things in my life, but despite the brain goblins I’m determined to work my ass off to fix them or die trying is it too greedy to want to be happy, hot and successful. I’ve never truly been any of those things (in my own eyes) but I want to know what it feels like. And I will 😤

realising im at a point where i'm so financially in the red that i have to start selling off all of my stuff really sucks i need to take time off to work on my redebut but can't afford to, i have to work more but also streaming isn't bringing in income i hate stressing about money ugh

getting given vip and smooches and told ily by the person who made me want to become a content creator in the first place makes my heart jump out of my chest i feel so unworthy..... 😖🤍

americans really dont know how good they have it with easy access to sleepy time weed gummies nothing in my life has immediately cured my insomnia and given me a better sleep than that and i yearn so fucking hard...

It’s been a few years since I increased my stretched ear gauge… they’re still too small for my liking… Maybe it’s time we resume body modding as a treat 😈