moms of girls aged 5 and under: do y’all’s daughters ever stop talking????

me at the polls today:

🚨LOUISIANA: EARLY VOTING TODAY UNTIL NEXT SATURDAY, MAY 9. NO ALL 5 AMENDMENTS!!!🚨

in a state where rain is almost always imminent, you’d think the drivers wouldn’t drive like it’s their first day behind a wheel when a lil bit of water fall out the sky. but no.

why is it 57 dagrease fair-in-height in may in louisiana???

IYKYK.

why did it take $84 to fill my tank? 🥲 FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS AND THIRTY-SEVEN CENTS PER GALLON????

DAMMIT we were so close…

girl, put louisiana in jambalaya rice! mass shooting in shreveport, a man arrested for planning a mass shooting in new orleans, now a mass shooting in baton rouge! 😵‍💫

why squirrels wait til the absolute last second to move off the road?

one thing i do not want to be known for in corporate america is being a “hard worker.” i am here to do the bare minimum and go the fuck home. 🫶🏽 thank you for coming to my TED talk.

dear all drivers in the baton rouge metropolitan area: the order is TURN SIGNAL THEN BRAKE. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

if someone holds a gun to my head and tells me “say the word ‘rural’ correctly or you die,” just go ahead and start planning my funeral.

calling a crisp bob a Robert >>>>

Boneless gospel

my boss plays yt gospel in the office (she black) 🫤. this music so uninspiring and unmoving.

client wants to schedule an appointment, there are multiple timeslots available for every day and they are listed. don’t just tell me “monday.” WHAT TIME??????

dawg, why when you ask a multiple part question ppl only answer one part of the question? 😐

this might be the first NBA game i watched this season.

we gotta get sports back on regular TV channels bruh, wtf.

i’m so tired of the american healthcare system.

hello, my name is kandace, am i am dr0nk.

i don’t have it in me to professionally people for the rest of the day. 🫩

when you tell a client “feel free to give me a call with any questions!” and they actually do…

i’m about to crash out.

ugh, that’s the last team i wanted to win the women’s tourney. 😒

seeing ppl you KNOW very well talk with that influencer “accent” <<<<< 😭😭😭

i did 25 sit-ups, why my stomach not flat yet!? this is a scam.

this might be by cynical mindset, but anytime ppl ask me “can i pray for you” i just think that’s an excuse to get in my business. 🙃

idk what happened once i hit a certain age, but there’s been an extreme shift in me from being an extrovert to becoming an introvert.

i ain’t watched one full game of the men’s tournament until today’s duke/uconn game, omg i’m glad i did.

men, why all of a sudden y’all got all these errands to run once you get a haircut? 🌚

like, who thought that was a good idea????

LSU re-hiring will wade before they even announce matt mcmahon is fired is so messy. 😂😂😂

my daughter be in here all into game shows like she 65. 😭😭😭

happy pi day, my fellow nerds! 🤓

describe parenting using one emoji: 🫩

and eatin butt. don’t forget eatin the butt.

it’s always “thank you for your payment.” and never “this one’s on us.” 🫩

y’all, what do we have to do to get rid of these mfs permanently????

baton rouge is not a real place.

when chocolate candy been next to hard candy for so long and now you got a strawberry flavored Hershey kiss <<<<<

happy BR Day! 2/25

my top 3 opps at this present moment: 1) t***p supporters. 2) texas drivers. 3) fitted sheets.

laissez les bons temps rouler! 💜💛💚

for anyone with a birthday on Leap Day, in a non-leap year when do you prefer ppl to wish you a happy birthday: 2/28 or 3/1?

filed my taxes. 🫩

i can elect my work benefits without calling my mama. 💅🏽

dear all drivers in the baton rouge metropolitan area: WHY ARE YOU IN THE LEFT LANE IF YOU ARE DRIVING LIKE A BITCH??????

one of my biggest pet peeves lately is being the middle man when it comes to communication when the two parties have each others’ numbers. ASK THEM YOURSELF.