Just popped two 500 mg Tylenols for a neck ache

Why cant I type anthrung corevrky when searchign for.somehting on googlev

Low budget Mike Ehrmantraut

Back at work, my boss calls at 7 am and tells me he’s on PTO for two weeks starting Monday and I need to fill in for him

Chappell knows how to put on a show

Flying this outside my house

Enjoying my day in New Jersey

Good morning, Sunday morning. (I’m on vacation and idk what day/time it is)

I went up to her and told her to DO SOMETHING

Opening the shades in my hotel room every morning while in NYC *Caitlyn Jenner meme*

May have bit off a little more than I can chew with a 3 day Chicago weekend/Gaga concert followed immediately by a 5 day NYC trip/Chappell concert

Living in the United States right now

Corporate needs you to find the differences…

4 day Mayhem Ball weekend is over and it’s back to a shit storm at work

Mayhem Ball. That's it, that's the skeet.

Lady Gaga sang Hair directly AT me last night and it was magical

Preparing my mind, body, and soul before Gaga tonight

Forget Alzheimer’s, I’m terrified of losing my grip strength when I’m older

Has the internet cooled down yet?

Tr*mp’s facial muscles

Reading major news outlet skeets today

I’ve been feeling very Dr. Manhattan lately

Why is he giving Hector Salamanca

Rugrats Pat Sajak used to keep me up at night as a kid

Ahh, another very normal internet day I see

I have mastered the 10 minute meeting

My phone is nearing the end of its life and I reallly don’t want another iPhone but I also reallly don’t want to learn the Android UI. I’m stuck

Mayhem Ball next Monday in Chicago. Let’s fly through this week please

The only positive thing about it being cooler out is it’s curbing my ice cream cravings

Closed my laptop for the week and immediately got a Teams IM on my phone

I want Sharon Gless playing a woman from the Midwest who won a week at the White Lotus from Live with Kelly and Mark and somehow gets caught up in some high stakes French drama

*Vince McMahon trying not to cry meme*

Got a little h*gh the other week and started missing my grandma so I went on eBay and bought a bunch of handheld games we used to play together when I was a kid

I can finally post my own GIFs? *cracks knuckles*

Dead Dance got me like

Seriously how did we as a society get so dumb so fast?

Going number 2 without a bidet, oh you mean taking an analog shit

Let downnnnn!

Tr*mp is going to give us his best Ramsey Bolton impersonation in this presser

Being an Uncle is literally my favorite thing in the world, but damn does it make you realize how fast time really does go

I feel like I could definitely win a popcorn eating contest

Perfect day for the Zoo!

Not yet everyone

The groan heard around the world just now

The most likely reason he hasn’t been seen in days

When the apps start to crash then I’ll believe it

I feel my summer powers waning

I go on vacation for like 5 days and come back to someone trying to take credit for a project I’ve been leading for 6 months

Coming back to an absolute dumpster fire at work after a nice little vacation

“iF yOu DoN’t HaVe AnYtHiNg NiCe To SaY dOn’T sAy AnYtHiNg At AlL” Me: