it's just tiresome knowing I can't tell shit to my family can't tell them I'm bi given how they've reacted to my sister, can't say I'm NB given how they clown on anything involving saying you're noncis like man I just want to be myself out loud is that so much to ask

hmmmmm my family doing "I identify as" jokes guess I'm never coming out to them!!!!! fun!!!!

Need accounts to be able to go private I'm tired of term searchers stumbling upon this account go away shoo I'll kill you if I must you're less than the dirt I'll half bury you in

I'm sorry it's a very stupid thing to get mad at but it's just, man, I can't think of like a gift that doesn't go down the utilitarian route and I don't want that I don't wanna say "yeah for my bday gimme a new electric razor"

Wanting to shove a butter knife through my windpipe because mom asked what I as a birthday gift and any other year I may have said a new computer but imma be real I don't think that's a thing I can afford anymore or at least until 6 more years when I've saved years worth of money!!! I hate it!!!!!

having an opinion I can't voice because it'd require me to point out people being annoying and that's just asking for a fight to break out

(exhaling a large puff of smoke off a cigar) there needs to be more dubcon stuff where one (or both) sides are covered in lipstick/bite marks

Parents talking mad shit about anyone who does OF and I'm trying my hardest to not say anything

spent 5 hours doing housework and what have you and I'm hearing my mother rambling about no one doing shit around the house I'm so fucking tired

the most exasperating part about witnessing Current Events while sharing a household with my parents is that despite them firmly believing the US to be an evil empire they're still under a certain delusion of "rules" or "competency" where things like the Epstein Files sound made up to them

the divide between gender euphoria at the longer hair and gender dysphoria at the fact it's nowhere closer to hitting shoulder length yet

the most annoying part about babysitting my niece is she doesn't want to play or let me hold her 9 times out of 10 and any time she does something bad or about to harm herself they tell me to shut up so all I'm doing is watching

I forgot that when going from short to long my hair goes from looking like my dad's to curling/drill-like like mom's

After years my hair has once again managed to grow long enough to go past my eyes (it can even touch the tip of my nose if I straighten it) Praying to God that's a good omen for the back of my head and finally hitting shoulder length

dunno what compelled me to pretend we were still friends but that's done and over with

wanted to do the compliment thing but can't because they now all ring hollow :)

grown to hate the holidays because it's week(s) long psychosis to prepare for 4 meals like there's no goddamn reason shit gotta be this stressful but my parents Find A Way every time

how to stop sudden urges of being really bitter towards someone

put on sandals because I didn't wanna bother with shoes and the combination of it with the pants and shirt be making me feel cute for some reason

I wouldn't put people on leashes I'd coddle them to the point they pretty much are or ask me to put one on them

Pyramid of needs and it's getting a comm from Ungulatr of my sona tonguing someone's throat so hard it bulges and almost chokes them at the top

having a parent with OCD about cleaning drop by your place unannounced and having them complain that your place isn't sparkling top to bottom is a good way to have all the blood vessels in my forehead work overtime

ngl it do be giving me a much needed boost seeing people describe a body type very similar to mine as attractive

Learning who voted for the libertarians and having to make a mental note to not punch them in the face next time we see

I have a disease called Incredible Yet Oddly Specific Ideas

I hate having intrusive thoughts telling me to be petty publicly

I'm sorry

*I want you*

I miss being in love it made me feel alive

I remembered I had this image I could use as PFP let's gooooooooooooo

Feeling like an undesirable sack of shit because the moment I'm not busy the thoughts arise

you ever have a dream where you immediately clock in that it is one because it makes no sense and you wake up incredibly upset

one clean shave later I no longer want to kill myself but I would still dump my face into the hot oil of a deep fryer

mhm, yes, very good, the "I want to rip my skin off because I'm ugly to the point of being horrendous and fucking disgusting" feel from gender/body dysphoria

hmmm, intrusive, spiteful thoughts no good

thank you Jade for liking this so I can flashbang the feed with it

there we go new pfp

hell yeah dude I love living with no drive whatsoever, it's definitely not exhausting as fuck

doujin with the plot revolving around the fact Agnes Tachyon had like a thousand children so she lays pipe to the entire cast yeah include Daiwa Scarlet, hell make it the final one even

sucks I can't go back to FF3 now because I relate it to streaming it alongside a certain someone ah well

gender is a very dumb thing in that I can see a woman's body or attire and be like "man I wish I could look like that" but if you asked me if I'd identify as one I'd be like "nah I'm firmly in the non-binary zone" even though it sounds silly and like 99 million other pipeline stories

In retrospect I'm partially to blame for some of Vicky's recent developments for getting her used to me calling her "silly little girl" or "princess"

what the fuck am I supposed to do when the world is crumbling and slipping between my fingers

Hm. The thoughts are back. No good.

deciding to flashbang the feed with a very funny small sneak peek into what my fursona design doc be looking like

looking at my angsty, "love's dumb" teen self and powerbombing him through cement power of love dumbfuck

honestly the most frustrating part about my dysphoria is that idek where I want to end up other than "do voice training because your voice fucking sucks" and "we need to seriously reevaluate the wardrobe"

I just realized I got no gifts whatsoever for this year's birthday not even a "hey anything you want?" from my family man

I think that when (see: years) I get the means to get art I'll make it so that either my demon and my fursona designs have a different vibe to each like the demon being more goth/grunge or whatever, it's a wip but the reasoning is sound

screaming to the heavens for I hate my hair and have no idea to how to remotely approach something I'd like