i should shut the f up forever

application unsuccessful how many until it’s a lost cause

i need to be put down behind the shed

guys if u remove my balls u can keep em

no one really talks about how good jelly beans are these days

heyheyheyheyheyhey!!!! let’s go get sausage rolls!!!! !!!!

a night of mouse and ham

if i keep looking maybe i’ll find out its purpose

oops i forgot to say i’m not working tomorrow. damn

found a scar on my belly and i can’t stop looking at it

i think one of the chickens just got killed

i sat down to write then a dance party happened outside my door. it’s sweet but i need my own space

ipl all over, i need to put soothing creams on

i miss my lady already

guys it’s still Smiles for Miles Day if u like that kind of thing. tryna get a new holiday going

stinky cologne man. only ur wife should have to smell ur cologne. learn about antiperspirants if ur worried about covering body odour

i feel like a bad person cuz hearing someone else cough makes me stressed

happy Smiles for Miles Day everyone

if u kill me at bondi beach i’m not gonna have sex with u anymore

put my gf’s peniss in my butt

they should remake the matrix but instead of keanu it’s adam driver

there’s yelling

midnight crunching. it woke me up

i got a big bag of candy from the grocery store. this one’s called “grandpa mix”

i have forgotten how to write. well actually just in the king’s english but i don’t speak any other languages

hey who knows how to write a cover letter?

guys i had a wheatbix for the first time

this cereal is crazy

smoking on that shit that killed lincoln

that guy bought vodka, rum, and a box of beer cans as big as a toddler

guys what will the liquor store provide for us today?

guys i killed a big spider but its guts got all over my flag

doing that thing tomorrow that I do each bandcamp friday where I pretend $1 in savings on this tape will influence its sales particledogs.bandcamp.com/album/partic...

babe can u rub my soft underbelly?

big changes coming!!! things are gonna happen.

i want to go to the zoo and see crocodiles!! i want to see them so i can be frightened of them so i can learn to respect them

what if i get engaged and then married and then i’m her wife? wild stuff

guys it’s getting hotter and it’s gonna get even hotter. i can barely handle it now but eventually i will melt away

guys if i get this job i’ll celebrate

guys if we have american accents we have to try and change them

i had autism dinner with my love and now we are going to live the rest of our lives together

ringo ate my baby

guys i have a long weekend

i’m so full of blood rn. it’s pumping through my veins

i’m rn thinking things might work out and we’ll have that little house together and jobs that don’t keep us away from each other too long. but someday

i finally realized who he reminded me of

guys i’m being quiet tonight. i said three words since dinner time

u like me even tho im stupid

i have a picture of a tit saved on my phone that i look at when i’m by myself

we’re waiting for thw toilet to become available