"I have the immune system of a small Victorian boy" - Gen Z coworker

We haven't seen this much destruction of the White House building since the war of 1812

It's interesting to see that the President is confirming he is literally sh*tting on the American people.

My apartment is so disorganized right now, I'm worried that the President is going to send the national guard over here....

Nothing says flourishing as with how LinkedIn says that people "completed" one year at a company. Next time a friend has a one year wedding anniversary, I'll send them a message informing them that they "completed one year of marriage with their spouse"

I can't work today, but here is a link to stream The IT Crowd, if school taught me anything, this should cover it.

I used to find it weird that in Star Trek, the cultural canon seemed to end with the 20th century. With the advent of generative AI, this now makes sense.

The saddest part of Trump's post endorsing fictional med beds, is that's the closest we've gotten to the health care proposal he's been promising us since 2015.

Is Pete Hegseth's makeup room still operating during the shutdown?

If the President's Diet Coke button is still working today, then this government shutdown is a farce.

So much of our tax payer's dollars were spent fat shaming our military?

Apparently what I thought was episode 1 of SNL was actually episode 2, and now the movie about the first episode makes a lot more sense.

I'm sorry, but for me it's always going to be, "Don't bring me down; Bruce!"

I feel like my small talk game would greatly improve if I stopped caring about accuracy in what was being said.

When I sneeze, I don't always "ah-choo", sometimes I "ah-choo-eee"

If the house wants to bury this whole Epstein thing, why don't they just give it to the Democrats to investigate?

Me pretending to be a smoker so I can get the COVID vaccine in Massachusetts

I've been out of formal education for 25 years and I'm still not sure if imaginary are real or not.

Spicy Take Friday: Late night didn't become more political nearly as much as conservatives became fragile snowflakes.

Chrome's menu option "Close Other Tabs" is a bit like if a car had a button for "remove all four tires" -- yes it has a theoretical usefulness, but the majority of time it's just going to cause a disaster.

Listening to baseball on the radio is underrated ASMR

I can't wait till phones can beam the audio directly into your head. Not for me, for other people.

I will be quite happy when this assault on all things cozy by modern interior design, finally comes to an end.

Trump accidentally reinvents National Socialism www.cnbc.com/amp/2025/08/...

Let's not make Cracker Barrel's new logo a political thing. Americans regardless of political ideology can come together and criticize the new logo.

Bosses who get bored with too much time off from work will assume everyone gets bored not being at work.

I support the 2nd condiment, keep sandwiches legal.

Hopefully today Trump doesn't get carried away with giving away Ukraine's land and accidently go and give away part of Alaska as well...

And this fascist BS is still happening

Now relevant for his crime policy

When is the "eating cheesecake at night with your friends" phase of life supposed to begin?

I always thought the premise of "The Emperor's New Clothes" was absurd, but it turns out the absurd part was the resolution.

When you start feeling goth vibes again in your mid 40's www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTx1...

Apparently I called this correctly, he had magic hypno glasses.

When all you have is a tariff hammer, everything begins to look like a tariff nail.

Well I tried, but ChatGPT won't taken any responsibility for running our reality as a holographic simulation. Can someone please check Siri?

Some IT bosses: A new version of this software package was released, I want you to read the entire change document and ensure nothing will break. Other IT bosses: A new version? It'll be fine, just rub some dirt on it.

At the brewery it's both kid's craft night, and they are playing all Black Sabbath over the sound system. Might be the noisiest bar ever.

What's the point even of having a President that says crazy things, if the stock market isn't even going to panic about it?

Wait, Coldplay concerts have a kiss cam? Do they also have a giant fuzzy mascot with a t-shirt cannon? I don't get modern music at all...

Modern fit? More like back when I was in high school fit.

Why do health agencies only talk about sun block, but don't mention hats? You'd think RFK Jr would be all over this, but his Uncle was the first not to wear a hat to his inauguration. There is a perfectly good conspiracy here to sort out.

Also, let me get this straight, when we didn't understand the sun's effects to cause skin cancer and damage, we all wore wide brim hats, and now that we do, we are all like, "come do your worst Sun!"

I find it strange that no one wears nightcaps to bed anymore.

When people ask you where you are from, and you name a town instead of a state.

TV in the Hospital Waiting room has been on a Law & Order SVU marathon. Not quite the thing to interject a feeling a calm in people. Can't we get a Bob Ross marathon instead?

Now that we've all had several years to put the heat of competition behind us, should electricity be allowed in freeze tag? I say yes.

When people ask if they are boring you, "Well no, but it would help if you worked in more references to Star Wars into the conversation"

I feel that Rascal Flatts covering "Life is a Highway" was pretty unnecessary.

Today I learned that the sounds your gut makes while digesting is called borborygmi.