Jason Malstrom
@jasonmalstrom.bsky.social
📤 32
📥 38
📝 260
I have ideas
"I have the immune system of a small Victorian boy" - Gen Z coworker
3 days ago
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We haven't seen this much destruction of the White House building since the war of 1812
5 days ago
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It's interesting to see that the President is confirming he is literally sh*tting on the American people.
6 days ago
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My apartment is so disorganized right now, I'm worried that the President is going to send the national guard over here....
17 days ago
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Nothing says flourishing as with how LinkedIn says that people "completed" one year at a company. Next time a friend has a one year wedding anniversary, I'll send them a message informing them that they "completed one year of marriage with their spouse"
17 days ago
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I can't work today, but here is a link to stream The IT Crowd, if school taught me anything, this should cover it.
19 days ago
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I used to find it weird that in Star Trek, the cultural canon seemed to end with the 20th century. With the advent of generative AI, this now makes sense.
23 days ago
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The saddest part of Trump's post endorsing fictional med beds, is that's the closest we've gotten to the health care proposal he's been promising us since 2015.
24 days ago
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Is Pete Hegseth's makeup room still operating during the shutdown?
24 days ago
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If the President's Diet Coke button is still working today, then this government shutdown is a farce.
26 days ago
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So much of our tax payer's dollars were spent fat shaming our military?
26 days ago
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Apparently what I thought was episode 1 of SNL was actually episode 2, and now the movie about the first episode makes a lot more sense.
about 1 month ago
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I'm sorry, but for me it's always going to be, "Don't bring me down; Bruce!"
about 1 month ago
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I feel like my small talk game would greatly improve if I stopped caring about accuracy in what was being said.
about 1 month ago
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When I sneeze, I don't always "ah-choo", sometimes I "ah-choo-eee"
about 2 months ago
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If the house wants to bury this whole Epstein thing, why don't they just give it to the Democrats to investigate?
about 2 months ago
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Me pretending to be a smoker so I can get the COVID vaccine in Massachusetts
about 2 months ago
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I've been out of formal education for 25 years and I'm still not sure if imaginary are real or not.
about 2 months ago
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Spicy Take Friday: Late night didn't become more political nearly as much as conservatives became fragile snowflakes.
about 2 months ago
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Chrome's menu option "Close Other Tabs" is a bit like if a car had a button for "remove all four tires" -- yes it has a theoretical usefulness, but the majority of time it's just going to cause a disaster.
about 2 months ago
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Listening to baseball on the radio is underrated ASMR
about 2 months ago
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I can't wait till phones can beam the audio directly into your head. Not for me, for other people.
about 2 months ago
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I will be quite happy when this assault on all things cozy by modern interior design, finally comes to an end.
about 2 months ago
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Trump accidentally reinvents National Socialism
www.cnbc.com/amp/2025/08/...
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U.S. government takes 10% stake in Intel, as Trump expands control over private sector
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick said that the U.S. government has taken a 10% stake in chipmaker Intel.
https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2025/08/22/intel-goverment-equity-stake.html
2 months ago
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Let's not make Cracker Barrel's new logo a political thing. Americans regardless of political ideology can come together and criticize the new logo.
2 months ago
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Bosses who get bored with too much time off from work will assume everyone gets bored not being at work.
2 months ago
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I support the 2nd condiment, keep sandwiches legal.
2 months ago
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Hopefully today Trump doesn't get carried away with giving away Ukraine's land and accidently go and give away part of Alaska as well...
2 months ago
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And this fascist BS is still happening
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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Now relevant for his crime policy
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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When is the "eating cheesecake at night with your friends" phase of life supposed to begin?
2 months ago
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I always thought the premise of "The Emperor's New Clothes" was absurd, but it turns out the absurd part was the resolution.
2 months ago
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When you start feeling goth vibes again in your mid 40's
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTx1...
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Sesame Street Count Von Count Dragula Rob Zombie Freddy Spaghetti
YouTube video by Fred Spaghetti
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTx1KG-7bOU
3 months ago
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Apparently I called this correctly, he had magic hypno glasses.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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When all you have is a tariff hammer, everything begins to look like a tariff nail.
3 months ago
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Well I tried, but ChatGPT won't taken any responsibility for running our reality as a holographic simulation. Can someone please check Siri?
3 months ago
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Some IT bosses: A new version of this software package was released, I want you to read the entire change document and ensure nothing will break. Other IT bosses: A new version? It'll be fine, just rub some dirt on it.
3 months ago
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At the brewery it's both kid's craft night, and they are playing all Black Sabbath over the sound system. Might be the noisiest bar ever.
3 months ago
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What's the point even of having a President that says crazy things, if the stock market isn't even going to panic about it?
3 months ago
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Wait, Coldplay concerts have a kiss cam? Do they also have a giant fuzzy mascot with a t-shirt cannon? I don't get modern music at all...
3 months ago
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Modern fit? More like back when I was in high school fit.
3 months ago
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Why do health agencies only talk about sun block, but don't mention hats? You'd think RFK Jr would be all over this, but his Uncle was the first not to wear a hat to his inauguration. There is a perfectly good conspiracy here to sort out.
4 months ago
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Also, let me get this straight, when we didn't understand the sun's effects to cause skin cancer and damage, we all wore wide brim hats, and now that we do, we are all like, "come do your worst Sun!"
4 months ago
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I find it strange that no one wears nightcaps to bed anymore.
4 months ago
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When people ask you where you are from, and you name a town instead of a state.
4 months ago
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TV in the Hospital Waiting room has been on a Law & Order SVU marathon. Not quite the thing to interject a feeling a calm in people. Can't we get a Bob Ross marathon instead?
4 months ago
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Now that we've all had several years to put the heat of competition behind us, should electricity be allowed in freeze tag? I say yes.
4 months ago
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When people ask if they are boring you, "Well no, but it would help if you worked in more references to Star Wars into the conversation"
4 months ago
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I feel that Rascal Flatts covering "Life is a Highway" was pretty unnecessary.
4 months ago
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Today I learned that the sounds your gut makes while digesting is called borborygmi.
4 months ago
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