... ohhhh, so *that*'s why half my company is on leave... It's apparently the half term holidays this week. I had no idea. Just another 4-day week for me.

Sooooo... I guess no uyoe suits at Confuzzled then 😛

I really hope I truly get to the place of genuinely not caring what anyone may think. The freedom must be immeasurable. I'm slowly moving there, but I've a long way to go.

I wanted to drop by London Comic Con tomorrow, but as I'm still a bit ill (although feeling much better than I did), probably not a good idea. Aside from an important rehearsal Sunday evening (which makes going away awkward), I need to think of something worthwhile to do on the 3-day weekend...

Have fun at Confuzzled, those that are going! Take photos of any uyoe fursuits for me 😜

Oh what a shocker, apparently our vibe-coded prototype is a coding disaster and is borderline unreadable and unmaintainable, and has absolutely bizarre internal processes, who'd've seen that coming...

*go be around furries* *return with some kind of disease* (pretty sure I've caught a cold, my first in maybe a year)

London furmeet here I come..! (I'm half expecting it to be relatively quiet today)

*tableflip sticker* Goddammit work has been pissing me off lately. Maybe I've just been a bit shit recently, but due to a lack of clarity, a number of things I've done recently have had to be reworked at the time of delivery. "Oh, no, we didn't want it like that". Great, amazing. *growls*

I sometimes think "Maybe I should make a new actor's social media profile" to replace my dead twitter one- I sometimes have stuff I want to say, and feel I have nowhere to say it. Then I remember social media is awful, and I really don't post much of value (mainly rant). But then, *community*... 🤔

Frozen chicken goujons. Pack serves 2. Pack contains 9 goujons. 🙄 I really don't understand food packaging these days.

Feeling weirdly overwhelmed at work today. Have a number of complex unrelated things I have to think about. Had 4 meetings. Things not behaving as I expected. It's like the air pressure has increased, and thickened. Kinda want to crawl under a rock, but also chat with friends, about what, dunno...

I'm trying a new browser plugin that filters out all Facebook posts that aren't from your friends or groups you follow. It's "hilarious" how many posts are rejected. It's a constant stream of crap. Genuinely - it can try for about 30 seconds before one more valid post. (Why am I still there...)

Fiiiinally, got to see the Mortal Kombat 2 movie today, been waiting for it for about a year! T'was fun, and there's some amazing costumes 😛

Ordering my ticket for the LondonFurs meet on the 16th. Reach the tickbox to confirm if you're human... 🤔 🦖 🥲

I swear all these modern javascript libraries and approaches makes everything way more complicated. Got a table of users with tiny profile picture thumbnails. Before: backend provides uid to image. Browser loads image, auto-caches. Simple, very quick.

I'm gonna try to attend the Londonfurs meet on the 16th. Been missing furry stuff lately, Real Life is very much dominating the whimsy at the moment (not bad, just, a lot). Would be good to see some of you there, even though it's the week before Cfz..!

House hunting is all about finding the maximum number of compromises you're prepared to accept. 21st viewing today. Nope. But I am going for a second viewing on Friday, one that's a possible contender. Definitely not perfect, but I don't have the money for perfect.

Just had a kinda sad thought. Wondering whether to have an early night, try to catch up on sleep. Considered watching another episode of Last One Laughing, which I enjoy. "I don't have the energy to laugh tonight."

Today is probably going to be a fairly rough day. I'm so tired. Not been sleeping well. Lots on my mind. Frustration. I have an awkward phone call to make to cancel 2 house viewings for Thursday I only booked yesterday. Unexpectedly busy work day today... maybe. Second guessing myself a lot.

I worked with one actor on a course I did last year. The instructors confided in me they really struggled to get him to actually emote in his scene - he was flat and uninteresting. Having seen his scene, I absolutely agree. Yet somehow, he's *constantly* working. It feels like every other day...

"Fun" fact - I nearly applied to the original casting of Tigger in Pooh B&H2. But I didn't, because I felt I didn't quite fit the criteria. Sad truth though, even if our skills match (I'm sure they don't) their casting is better than I'd be, because he's good on social media. I'm not. Kinda hate it.

Feeling kinda disassociated from furry. *looks up Londonfurs meets* Goddammit, I can't make the next 3...

Finally, a bonsai tree I can't kill.

Huh. Interesting thought. I'm an August kid. That means that throughout school and uni, I was usually one of the youngest. I usually felt ready for the year just as it was ending, and the new one beginning. In hindsight, I should've taken a gap year. But that's not this recent thought.

I'm so over working from home 100% of the time.

I keep feeling like I want to post something to bluesky. I reach for the link/app... ... and then I realise I have nothing to say. This has happened repeatedly recently. It's like I have a lot on my mind, but I can't refine my thoughts enough. I also feel a bit isolated, holding myself back.

Felt like I was going wild today spending £320 on two new bonsai, while mulling it over I got chatting with a couple about to buy two trees totalling over £2500... (they were beauties, to be fair)

I miss the days where I actually cared about my job..! Sure, days were sometimes stressful, but they were fairly quick and satisfying, and I didn't feel this constant resistance. Physical work is easier to do without caring than cerebral work. Tasks just slip off the mind. Very hard to force it.

Just watched a senior dev walk through how he's using vibe coding in our main codebase, to do things like adding routes, cleaning up imports, unused functions, relatively simple stuff. And I dunno... to me, it just seems... easier to just make the changes manually? Than wrangling a LLM?

Trialling turning off all reposts. Got very tired of 3/4s of my feed being random reposts. Too much.

I'm definitely having a few days where every little minor distraction is bothering me. Feeling a little overwhelmed. Multi-tasking is BS, I need to lock in to one thing at a time.

Grrr. So, to set the scene- I live in a fairly small 2 bed house. I work from home 5 days a week, so I must have a dedicated office space. That's my small 2nd bedroom (3m*2m). My desk is at the far end. Storage behind/beside me. I'm pretty cramped. My "workshop" is at the door end. Let me describe.

How is the weekend over *already* 😫

Is anyone I know attending this year's MCM Comic Con in London in May?

I just filmed a monologue and a self-tape on my new Pocket 3 camera. Good thing I checked the footage before packing everything away... because I inadvertently had it on timelapse mode 😒 Had to re-film everything. Grr. Oh well. It's practice.

It's Rent Increase Day yaaaaaaaay...

I'm starting to feel like there's an increasing number of little things that I'd like to share with someone at the time it happens - a fun thought, experience, achievement or frustration - but doesn't feel significant enough to post on social media about, or type out an IM about.

Sometimes, after a work day of really challenging abstract theoretical problem-solving, when my brain turns to mush, and I don't really feel like I've achieved anything, I kinda wish I had a more menial labour job. Today is one of those days. Want to do more real, tangible stuff.

Melancholy post. Currently in a cafe, having a flat white. Sometimes when I do, I think back to my late mum. She loved strong coffee, but always found cappuccinos too weak + large. When flat whites appeared, I suggested to her she might like them. She never got the chance to try. Mixed feelings.

Unsure what to do today. I have little tasks, which I will do, but large expanses of nothing between them. It looks like it'll be a lovely day. Feels like an opportunity to do something that actually moves my life forwards, but I'm not sure what...

There should somehow be some kind of mortgage discount for households with a single income, similar to solo-living for council tax. Paying double for everything is crippling. A £350k house on shared income? Easy. Solo income? Hah, good luck. A single person can't live in half the house of a couple.

One of the problems of the modern online shopping landscape is the proliferation of cheap throwaway copycat products. If you don't know what a good brand is, and it's important to be high quality, it's very hard to figure it out now. Looking for quality has never been so difficult and frustrating.

First PT session in 9 weeks done, good to be back! Feels weird to no longer be focusing on pure strength, instead more functional movements + some strength. As fun as big muscles are, I'd much rather be able to move well and explosively, without constantly injuring myself. Maybe bulk more later.

4 days of werewolfing in a feature film last week 🐺👍 Seeing myself in full firearms officer gear at the end of a new major BBC TV series, which started on Sunday 👍 Sitting at my desk, back to my day job with a 215, 112, and 31 file code reviews to do 👎

I have now experienced the rite of passage of most creature performers (presumably) - trying to act moving around a tight indoor space around steps and multiple levels while being almost blind (and with bloody clawed hands, so I couldn't touch walls/doors/bannisters) 😛

I'm now refusing to watch YouTube videos with view tactics like: * overly inflammatory and clickbait titles (eg "lied to you", "you missed", "didn't want you to know", "changed forever" etc) * badly comped in faces with extreme expressions or finger points I've had enough of that manipulative bs.

I need to start training myself to survive later evenings, as the werewolf film we're shooting next week has most days scheduled to finish at midnight. But it's 10pm and I'm already hankering for bed... (I'm so bored of being on my sofa watching stuff, but I have little energy for much else)

It's not good that I'm getting pretty disillusioned with house hunting. I've got one viewing of a nice property on Saturday (which is over budget). But I think after I need to take a break. There's only so many uninteresting/inadequate houses I can see for my budget before it starts to get to me.

New office raptor.