I'd rather have a Dorothy Parker quote in front of me than give a paratha naan to a docker.

Thinking it might be possible to detourne karaoke by memorizing the lyrics of a completely different song and singing them to the tune of whatever you requested at random of the DJ.

Chants of Sennaar revolutionised the linguistics-em-up video game genre and now The Roottrees Are Dead is doing the same for genealogical research. Is there nothing too boring on paper to make a superb indie game? Game designers, I'm laying down the gauntlet here.

Ah right, so blowing up all those Venezuelan fishing boats was just testing to see if anyone was going to say, no, there are some things you just can't do. Actually Trump's entire political arc has been an orchestrated crescendo of checking whether anything at all is beyond the pale...

Goodbye Facebook, enshittified beyond any point of toleration in 2025 (if not earlier than that). Hello Bluesky I guess.

Watched my second ever King's Speech a moment ago. A little disappointed that apparently they couldn't get Colin Firth back to reprise his role.

My latest adventure in having two things playing at the same time and taking 10 minutes to realize it: Death Grips album in Spotify, Bjork concert on YouTube. An unqualified sonic success

LOL at all the people who still think Loch Ness is the name of the monster, when he was actually the scientist.

I was in high dudgeon about the fact that Ceres never got to be a planet despite having been discovered over a century before Pluto. Apparently it's because it hasn't "cleared its orbital neighborhood of other debris"? So that explains why I was never named a dwarf planet either.

Covering myself in skeletal fragments and shells from marine organisms, such as corals, algae, and mollusks, so that in several million years I can be a “limestone cowboy” for Halloween

I used to stop everything to listen to "The Sign" or "All That She Wants" but now, I just play it in the background and get on with doing some other work. Async of Basync.

Today I achieved: used the phrase "selachian Jacques Tati" to describe a Marvel comic book character.

(Jane Eyre) Spoiler: I married him.

Given that "Dracula" actually means "son of Dracul" (Vlad Dracul was Vlad Dracula's" father), consider how close we may have come to having had it rendered in English as McDragon or O'Drackle.

Gerrymandering was only the start. Proposition 50 makes it inevitable that we will soon see the existence of Gerrymeleon and Gerryzard.

Can an Optimus robot give me a piggyback to work? If so might be a decent alternative to learning to drive.

The other guitarists always looked down on me because my amp only went up to 10, but the joke was them - I'd numbered all my equipment using undecimal, the most metal of all bases.

Workshopping a more Cronenbergian baking-themed reality TV show - Am I Cake?

This all reminds me of the time I was excommunicated by my village church for trying to make "jazz campanology" happen.

Habsburg jaw jaw is better than Thirty Years War War

I know airport dogs are highly trained to only give the alert for drugs and weapons or whatever but are you telling me that if you try to get through security with your pants and jacket absolutely stuffed with dog treats they aren’t going to make some noise for you. Anyway about to find out

Whenever I check in on the latest news, sure, a lot of it is grim, but I am always able to console myself by remembering that a rising tide of blood and chaos lifts all boats.

So earlier today I discovered "Norwegian Wood" by Picture Parlour, and did what any sane person would: try to assemble the whole of Rubber Soul but composed of songs not at all by The Beatles. I'm doing well, but can anyone help me with "If I Needed Someone"?

Naming things is famously hard, but even so, "cubewano" might be the worst name for a thing ever.

If every action has an equal and opposite reaction, there must exist an evil counterpart to Smokey called Arson Bear.

As Mrs Anningprop once remarked to Ernstony Haecksolute, orogeny recapitulates palaeontology.

Throw a man who can't swim into the sea and he will be politically left wing for 5 minutes. Teach a man to throw others into the sea and he will be politically right wing for life.

People often talk about the virtue of self-documenting code, but less often about the virtue of self-documenting people: you know, the type who post pictures of their breakfast and give blow-by-blow updates on their every mood change. Let us take a moment to celebrate their limpid simplicity.

For some reason Shawn Carter has still not gotten back to me about my pitch for him to star in a gritty police procedural set in the North of England, Jay-Z-Cars.

Is everything completely terrible now or am I just old? The $1000000 question

America First, and the rest nowhere, apparently.

I’m in the movies for a Chet Baker documentary and why hasn’t anyone made a Chet Baker biopic with Matt Smith as Chet Baker yet?

It's been a pretty tough century to be a Tonawanda Kardex and Providence Steamrollers fan.

Looking forward to Trump or Musk giving a thumbs down signal to have a Democrat prisoner killed at one of their rallies, and then arguing that ACTUALLY the thumbs down signal meant "spare them" in Roman times.

Please someone help me get the least bit excited about this year's Oscar nominations? My first reaction on looking down the list was "Whoever wins, we lose."

First episode of Severance season 2 might just be 50 minutes of saying “hey, we’re back, do you remember us?” but it’s still good to see it again.

I was hoping to really like A Real Pain (2024) because Kieran Culkin etc, but while Eisenberg's heart is in the right place... way too earnest and straightforward for me, sadly.

A Different Man (2024) is the most Kaufmanesque movie I've seen since about the mid-point of actual Charlie Kaufman's career, and I am 100% here for it.

I would like to state for the record that my chest tattoo means “by with or from the day, Bart, by with or from the day”. Nobody who speaks Latin could be an evil man

I booked a stay at a holiday cottage in Provence but it was horrible, there wasn’t even any bedding for us to use. TL;DR I’m never going to France again, filthy gite has got no linen.

My takeaway from 6 years this side of the pond: there is no gold and the streets are paved with cats

TIL that Jimi Hendrix and Jim Henson were not actually one and the same person

It doesn't matter at all how you pronounce the word "scone", but I will totally judge you if you don't pronounce the word "sconce" in a manner consistent with that.

It's easy to remember than the cervix is "the neck of the uterus" by recalling that that is also the name of a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. You're welcome