"How did you lose your eyes when you're only five apples tall?" @angrymetalclaws.bsky.social

"Am I taller than you?" @lonelyimmortal.bsky.social

◄ ⧗ ►*𝐾𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑 𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑠* ◄ ⧗ ► ⧗ MS/MV ⧗ AU Natalia Romanova ⧗ 21+ for adult themes

“With fresh green shallot and an egg? For protein.” “You do the boiling, I’ll do the chopping!” And someone else could do the cleaning up.

Getting into the downwards dog because she has a hurty tummy and it helps things move along.

“I believe all that time you spend chopping wood with your shirt off is why we have so many children.” “Should we have ramen on the floor by the fire?”

"My nose is freezing!"

"Why are people putting haemorrhoid cream on their lips?"

"When you blink and nap and forget that you exist."

🪷| 𝕀 𝔹𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕧𝕖 𝕀𝕟 𝔸 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 ℂ𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 🪷| ᴀ ꜱᴏʟᴏ 🪷| For @hellfireinheels.bsky.social 𝘾𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙀𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙁𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙈𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙚 𝙁𝙚𝙚𝙡

"Jacob once came home with a calf when he was very drunk because he thought it was a Dalmatian." "I still don't know where he actually found it."

“Is it eggs?” “I wonder whatever happened to all of Gwen’s eggs?”

“Congratulations, Ben!” “I hope you don’t tear when you deliver your baby.”

“Silly boys are endearing.”

no me posting bandwagons when I will almost certainly forget to ever actually do them

Stole this from Ben since he's broke

"Poe it is. And maybe later I'll read The Black Cat to little Poe so that he knows what he has to live up to." Laura smiled happily, one last attempt to pet the kitten, this time slightly more successful as he started to tire out, and she followed Jacob out. -

“Sauve qui peut”. This is a French phrase that translates literally to something like "save yourself who's able/can" and roughly equates to “run for your life!” or “every man for himself!”, indicating a chaotic or dangerous situation/stampede. Postcard from my collection, no date/info.

𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍 | 𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 | 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 🔞 —————————————— ✘ - #ACRP | #BSRP ✘ - Canon | AU Portrayal ✘ - Lewd Earned | Single Ship ✘ - Bisexual ✘ - Face Claim | Daisy Ridley ✘ - Mature Themes —————————————— 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 / 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄

"Hmm." She watched the little cat play, occasionally managing to give his little head a scratch. But he was too focussed on defeating the cravat that he didn't look up much. "Salem? Ichabod, or Poe? Lestat, or Armand from the vampire books I like but haven't been written yet?" -

There were quite a few of them now. But they made it work. Just like they'd make space for this new little bundle of joy. "Oh, a black cat!" And it was almost Halloween! "They're very lucky, Agnes says." -

“Is nobody going to mention that audacity of calling 6pm, ‘afternoon’?!”

Sniggering

soak in the moist

"That's not how you say 'good to see you again, Laura, you're looking a little older, can I get you a snack?'."

Finger guns

You have to leave it in a while, to 'soak'.

"Sniffing my own armpits?" "How else can I tell if I need a shower or not?" Like, duh. "Hey wait, don't you owe me a Rubix Cube?!"

“Are you sniffing your own armpits again?”

Maybe I’m older than you now!

“The ladies will be very pleased to continue their little enterprise.” “…you didn’t bring home another cat, did you?”

“Am I late for breakfast?”

Laura was only here to watch, and enjoy the show. She fluttered her fingers and got one curious kitty to sniff her and gaze at her with big eyes. Laura returned the slow blink. "Mother cats in a school full of parentless children sounds poetic and perfect." -

“We can have fish n chips on a Thursday!” “Or a beigel?”

He missed Loco, Laura knew. The old feral cat who’d taken a shine to Jacob had enjoyed his retirement and passed peacefully in his sleep not too long ago. They’d all been devastated. But Jacob more than anyone else. “Did you stuff your pockets with cat mint?” -

Pies acquired and consumed on the way, they finally arrived at the shelter. Jacob being hailed by everyone who recognised him, Laura using her nose to make sure everything was clean and everyone was healthy. That’s teamwork! “Are you ready to meet some kitties, darling?”

"I was thinking something quick and convenient, so we can get home and spend the night helping whichever new pet you decide we need to take home to settle in." She grinned at him, he was an easy read. "That is what you're planning, isn't it?"

And who’s going to be on litter scooping duty?! Ugh. He knew she wouldn’t able to resist, it was most unfair! “I think maybe we should take our time and pick up something to eat on the way there.”

“Where do babies come from?”

Sinks in against him for the very risqué kiss. Arms around his neck. “For you, always.” He’d heard about kittens that had been born, hadn’t he?

"Smells like London to me." "Unless you want to be in New York?"

Not talking to him. For no reason.

“I’m only jealous about the ramen flavours I left behind.”

“Why is Logan so angry all the time?”

How does one fall into a portal that transports one to 1869 London in a world where mutants don't exist? And then one stays there, marries an assassin, has a baby, opens a school for needy children, has a set of twins, and pops back many years later for a visit? It just happens.

....I forgot I existed

This app didn’t tell me that my husband replied!

Look what I found! @steamypunkfrye.bsky.social

(actually, much prefers this version of them) "Darling!" She's in the green dress she wore when they got married, holding his gift. A brand new sword cane with a carved rook as a handle. "How is it possible that I'm more attracted to you than ever?" wish gloms the hell out of him

"I only have twenty bucks, can I still enter the bikini contest?" "I didn't get to go to the beach."